Another One Bites the Dust & God is An Evil Fucker

Few days back Cerise found another Nestling that the cats had caught. It didn't look like it got hurt by the cats and seemed to be quite 'lively'.

Those so far have been the 'two requirements' for little birdies to Survive.

If they get bitten by a cat -  no matter how lethal the bite itself - the bird dies due to the bacteria the cats carry in their saliva. Which is pretty damn stupid - the smallest puncture and they're fucked.

'Liveliness' is a requirement because some birds just go into complete trauma and depression after we take them in. We don't just 'take-in' little birdies - it always happens after an event - whether being kicked out by the parents, caught by cats etc. When they go into trauma & shock = they do not want to eat, they do not want to move. If you push them they just fall to the side and stay there - completely giving up on life. We talk to the birdies, saying that it doesn't have to be this way and that it's all just in their head. They decide whether they want to live or not - it's really simple = you eat or you die. Sometimes they 'get over-it' but most of the time they don't.

So back to this birdie - it was lively & seemed healthy so I was hopeful that this one was 'going to make it'. Usually if they're not going to make it they die the same day, that night or the day after.

We checked what type of Bird it was and it turned out too also be a Flycatcher like TweetTweet (Fiscal Flycatcher that we've had since beginning of November) - they are pretty resilient to trauma and can be very stubborn and aggressive. So because of the birdie being a Flycatcher - African Paradise Flycatcher to be precise - I thought everything was pointing to the 'right direction'.

I had to 'force-feed' the birdie the first day though - get my nail in-between the bill, get it open and shove some soaked cat-food pellet pieces down its throat (it's an Insect Eater and this cat-food has about the right proportion of protein and fat for Birds, fascinatingly enough). The next day it was looking much 'better' and making lots of sounds and weaning for food. While I was inspecting the bird though, there seemed to be something wrong underneath its right wing. It looked like a fleecy type of thing - I first thought that maybe the Cats had made a rip in the skin and that the lung or something was exposed. Then later I saw that it was like that around its entire belly on that same side. I did some research and it basically came down to that sometimes when cats get to the birdies, the birdie gets punctured and air leaks underneath the skin. This then gets all blown up and the birdie gets prone to infection.

The birdie was now eating 3-4 times more than the grown-up Flycatcher and it just seemed to keep on wanting more and more - even after dark. It was almost like it just wanted to keep on having more 'fuel' and that it was running out of it quickly. I also noticed that the birdie was shaking now - so it was probably trying to fight off an infection - metabolism going overdrive.

He survived that night and in the morning after horses I fed it and kept it on my belly, enclosed in my hands, keeping it nice and warm. After two hours it seemed to be doing better - no more shaking and not asking for food anymore that much. I thought maybe the birdie should rest a bit, so I put him in the little shoebox that we'd prepared for him and kept him in and then he started acting weird - opening its wings and just lying there. I saw that I had done everything I could and it was now just a matter of time. So I went back to sleep as it was still quiet early. An hour or so later I woke up, I checked the box - and there it was, not begging for food anymore - body still = the birdie was dead. I asked Gian to take care of the Birdie (throw it away) and after he left the room I started crying. For three days I had kept the birdie with me constantly, everywhere I went, I took the birdie with me to make sure that it would get food whenever it needed and that it would stay nice and warm [except during horses, then he'd sleep in the box]. I played with him and talked to him and now he was suddenly dead - again.

The entire Design is so fucked up - these birdies almost don't stand a chance. The moment the slightest thing goes wrong - a bit too cold, a bit too hungry, a bit too much trauma, the slightest injury = they die.

It's so completely fucked up beyond imagination and no-one seems to notice it. Today I watched a piece of documentary on Hummingbirds and there again - the Fucked up Design of Nature exposed. The only thing they do is live from Day to Day - if they do not consume half of their body weight in Nectar [+1000 flowers] and in addition to that, enough bugs for protein = they simply die. Even when they're not flying their heartbeat can race at 600 beats per minute. And it's for this exact same reason that these birds are aggressive. If they find a flower they will want to protect it and keep it from other because their Survival depends on it  [recognize this behavior somewhere?] - sometimes they simply die during the night, during their sleep because their 'fuel' ran out.

If God really existed - then he was either an Evil Fucker or a Complete Retard - to allow such fucked-up designs in Existence. Then again - we are the creators of this Existence so what does that tell about us?