Day 204: It Can't be That Easy

This is a continuation to:
Day 203: My Head is like a Broken Record

I now have started a 'new thing' for myself wherein I first speak in my Self-Forgiveness blog and record it with my cellphone (lol, I first wrote 'selfphone',which is like 'self sounding' from the perspective of "phone"/"phonetics") and afterwards write it out.

I decided to do it this way because I have had massive resistance speaking my whole life, where even just this one point of speaking out loud by myself has become a point of resistance and awkwardness, where the sound of my own voice freaks me out. As a child I used being quiet as a coping mechanism, where I believed that if I can keep myself quiet, I can make myself unnoticeable and I will be less likely to entice conflict within my environment.

So within speaking my Self Forgiveness out loud, I find myself being able to have to practically move through the resistance of fear of speaking – even if it is just “to” myself, to get comfortable with my own voice – as I often speak in mumbles to get the speaking ‘over with’ instead of making sure that my words are clear and specific. Here again, doing the Self Forgiveness out loud has shown to be another ground of practice within that regard – where it is easier to notice whether the words are flowing and/or whether there is any judgment involved in the point I am working on, or the words used within the Self Forgiveness.

Anyway, as I was speaking and writing my blog from yesterday ‘Day 203: My Mind is Like a Broken Record’ – I started to breathe. I started to breathe, I started to slow down for myself and found myself able to disregard the information my thoughts were attempting to convey – reminding myself, that the chatter is not relevant and so, there is no point giving it attention and then suddenly POOF the thought it gone lol.

This morning I woke up with the general emotions and thoughts as what I had accepted to be ‘normal’ to wake up with – and immediately I stopped, I looked at the thoughts, the emotions and what they represent and asked myself: Wait a minute – how are you relevant again? How is this supposed to help me being effective, help me within being stable, help me within establishing a world that is best for all Life? And I looked at the thoughts, the feelings and emotions and kind of an ‘uuuuh’ experience – where it was clear that these thoughts, feelings and emotions have absolutely no function within the context of what is Best for All Life, and gone they went.

I took a deep breath, threw my blanket open, ready to jump out of bed and was surprised at the ease and lightness with which I was getting out of bed – it was so strange, “this is not normal”, “this is not how it usually goes”, “can it really be that easy?” And there, doubt set in, and from the moment that I even just started considering the possible validity of these statements as thoughts in the slightest way – a darkness and a heaviness crept in and it was like prison bars shot down from the sky out of nowhere and back I was in my cage. Dammit! I allowed myself to be fooled again lol. So I stopped, looked at the thoughts, looked at where they came from, looked at the resistance of living my commitment – where the point of ‘It can’t be that easy’ was basically me looking for an excuse/justification to fail and find a reason why I can’t commit to my decision, which again is really not a ‘can’t’, but more of a ‘I don’t want to’.

I found myself missing many breaths and I also found myself picking up on Breathing just as much today. The habitual doubt and self-judgment always just being around the corner to question myself and my commitment – where each time I miss, it finds an opportunity to show its face, and I find an opportunity to not participate and simply start over.

Related articles

• Day 203: My Head is like a Broken Record
• I am Insecure, What do you think of me - Day 346
• Day 351 - Mirage of self Part 3
• Where Does Following Your Heart As a Compass Lead You? DAY 205
• Day 356 & 357 Self-Change through SELF-JUDGEMENT or through a simply DECISION?

Day 138: Move or Be Moved

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 130: Holding Myself Back
Day 131: Timidity
Day 132: How we Bring Personality Traits into Being
Day 133: Managing vs. Correcting My Inner Reality
Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
Day 135: Stopping the Pattern
Day 136: Walking Back in Time
Day 137: Re-Acting Reactive Reactions

When and as I see myself wanting to speak and react to this within expecting/anticipating conflict/friction – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself into anticipating a particular reaction to me speaking based on memories of the past and so I commit myself to stop anticipating the future based on the past and express myself here unconditionally

When and as I see myself calculate whether I should speak or not based on my perception and interpretation of my environment where I scan/measure for the possibility of friction/conflict – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to place limitation of self-expression based on fear and that I will never be able to live without compromise if my expression is limited/contingent on something else and so I commit myself to place expression in the function of expression itself and commit myself to express myself unconditionally within the starting point of what is best for all

When and as I see myself manage my movement and expression in relation to my environment in terms of possible inputs as reactions causing reactions within me – where I want to avoid certain inputs and seek out other – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that there is no self-movement and no self-direction existent within this as I am merely manipulating myself and my inner reality within placing myself as less than life and a slave to reactions and so I commit myself to walk here breath by breath and express myself unconditionally and remove the layers of automation based on reaction within me so I can walk here as Life

When and as I see myself holding back on speaking in favour of avoiding conflict/friction – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that accepting and allowing just this singular point within me indicates that I cannot be trusted as this pattern indicates that when it comes down to it I will pick energy/reaction over Life and so I commit myself to self-expression and to push through fear and energy reaction and stick to breath

When and as I see myself justify suppression within not speaking within the belief that doing something or not doing something if it means being able to avoid conflict/friction/fear is totally okay – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is how I sabotage myself into not changing and so I commit myself to stop my excuses and to push through fear and actually change

I commit myself to place myself over fear as self-limitation and express myself as a statement of self-value and self-appreciation as I see and realise that every moment I hold back and not speak in the name of fear I am stabbing myself in the back which is not something I want to live by

Related articles

• Day 133: Managing vs. Correcting My Inner Reality
• Day 136: Walking Back in Time
• Day 135: Stopping the Pattern
• Day 132: How we Bring Personality Traits into Being
• Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
• Day 229: Learned Helplessness Character - Dimensional Template

Day 128: Sigh - Part 6

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 123: An Innocent Sigh?
Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words
Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!
Day 126: Sigh - Part 4
Day 127: Sigh - Part 5

When and as I see myself access the belief that I do not have to consider other people or things because I am not aware of them and should only tend to my own self interest as MY experience and others should do the same for themselves – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that within not wanting to consider others and how they may be experiencing themselves (as a result of m actions) I am stating that I do not want to have anything to do with anything that goes beyond me and my comfort zone, to ensure that I do not have to change and so I commit myself to push myself out of my comfort zone and within every moment and every decision look whether I am only taking my own self-interest at heart or whether I am taking at heart the Interest of All within the understanding and realisation that my participation and life on earth is not an isolated manifestation but one that affects each and every one – just as theirs affect mine and thus understand that the only common sensical way for all to be in harmony is by acting and moving myself within what is Best for All Life

When and as I see myself access / play out the belief that since I have experiences and can only experience me and nothing/no-one else, that this means I am special – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that it is actually quite in reverse, where me being only aware and only being able to experience is very limited and inferior in relation to being aware and experiencing as part of the whole in unison – but where instead of acknowledging that my separation of the whole is in fact of a point of self-diminishment I have accepted and allowed myself to give it a ‘positive twist’ as to not question and thus change my current status and so I commit myself to investigate the point of ‘individuality’ within me and what this entails/implies within me and my existence and to study how I am separating myself from the whole and walk my journey to life

When and as I see myself make decisions within the reasoning of ‘why should I do it? I don’t see how that is my problem, I am not the one having an issue/experiencing a problem – what’s in it for me?’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is the very same capitalistic thought that has brought our world into ruins through the economic and monetary system of the world, where no one cares about anyone but themselves and so I commit myself to stop such abusive thoughts/backchat/attitudes/opinions as they are in direct violation of what is Best for All Life and the principle of Responsibility and move myself to make decisions within placing myself in the shoes of others

When and as I see myself getting upset when something is not going my way such as the internet being slow within the belief that I have ‘my right to happiness’ and that ‘nothing and no-one should stand in my way of MY happiness’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am living in direct contradiction within expecting everything and everyone to change for MY happiness but do not take into consideration what this ‘rule’ of mine would mean if it were to be applied to everyone – because if I have my right to happiness then everyone else also has their right to happiness which means that I should adjust/change the way I do things to not only be limited to my happiness but must act in way that is Best for All and so I commit myself to stop participating within the expectation that things should change to fit me and instead look at what role I play within the whole and make sure that my actions are not stemming from a stance of inequality

I commit myself to change my values within walking my Journey to Life to stand as Life being the only real value on Earth and have Equality as what is Best for All to be my guiding principle within every moment

When and as I see myself access the belief that ‘I am a good person’ because I once in a while will not have backchat just about myself – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am deluding myself within believing that because I have reactions that not just consider me that this means that ‘I am a good person’ while most of the time I am only consumed by my own self-interest and thus inherently evil and will use ‘positivity’ to cover up the evil in me and so I commit myself to investigate and explore what it is to actually care about life and not live an existent limited to only my self-interest

Related articles

• Day 126: Sigh - Part 5
• Day 126: Sigh - Part 4
• Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!
• Day 97: Don't you just LOVE Complaining? - Part 2
• Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words

Day 121: How we Ruin our Lives with Memories

A while back, I listened to one of the interviews on EQAFE called 'Life Review - How I ruined my Life with a Memory'. This interview was really cool for me to see how a singular moment, a singular set up -- can define your life and limit how you will experience and behave yourself for the remainder of your life.

Since listening to the interview, I've been giving more attention to memories and what role memories play within facing points (which you may have noticed if you've been reading my blogs, the memories just keep coming lol).

It's an interesting and also important point -- because, every moment is a new memory, every memory contains specific information upon which we will act in the future -- it's part of our 'database' that we use to guide ourselves, what we do, who we will interact with, etc.

I mean, the memory that is being walked through by the being in the interview, is very simply and 'innocent'-like in nature and then as the being walks through her life and her story unfolds -- it's just astounding how much a singular memory can affect us in who we allow ourselves to be and become, and to what extent we remain trapped in the past.

It also assisted me to work with particular experiences that I would I have, that I guess you could say "defined me" as feeling that these experiences were very much "a part of me" -- yet, I couldn't really 'place' them where it seemed as if these experiences had just appeared and emerged 'out of the blue' and didn't have any foothold to 'grab unto' to give myself direction and to have an approach on how to work with these experiences. So as I was listening to the interview, it all started making sense and it gave me a new way/perspective/approach on how I could deal with these experiences -- where before the experiences would just be 'floating around' and I would jsut be grabbing at thin air, trying to make sense out of what it was that I would experience in particular moments -- whereas now it's like I have a pin in my hand and can see the experience 'float around' and then just pin it down, BAM - gotcha! LOL

So if you sit with any experiences which you are finding hard to 'pin point' in terms of how to work with them and where they come from -- I'd definitely suggest listening to this interviews, as it gives a very nice, basic, simple perspective on the role of Memories -- and then even in addition to that you could check out the Quantum Mind series -- there, memories are taken to a whole NEW level -- and it's really quite fascinating to hear and 'see' (the descriptions in the interviews are so specific, it's like you can literally "See" what is being said) how the quantum mind works -- and I mean, you've got to have some degree of respect for how meticulous and specific the mind works after listening to a couple of those interviews -- we've really set ourselves up for quite the journey...

Related articles

• Day 213: Human Rats Trapped in an A-Maze-Ment(al) Game
• Day 189 - Postponing listening to Eqafe Interviews.
• Day 129: Mystery and Imagination
• 183. Like and Dislike = Mind Control
• Back to Breath (Day 15 of 21) Is What Makes you Happy also What's Best for you? DAY 147
• Day 160: Solitude 1

Day 40: This is What Death Looks Like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as Fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become a fear-reactor

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to relate everything which I perceive in my world back to fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see and interpret everything through a customized fear-filter which I created and built over time as accumulated memories through which I have formed my perception

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when having seen myself in the bathroom mirror for the first time after having been sick after a few days – and seeing my greasy hair and how much weight I had lost in just a few days – have reacted within shock/surprise and where within a split second a picture came up as a memory of when I went to see my mother in the hospital for the first time when I had been told that she had cancer, and having been surprised at how skinny she had gotten and how bad she looked with her skinny frame and greasy hair – and where I connected this picture presentation of ‘skinny and greasy hair’ to ‘cancer’ and ‘cancer’ to ‘death’ – and so within a single moment instilled ‘fear of death’ within and as me simply within that one moment of seeing myself in the mirror, being surprised/shocked and not knowing how I should exactly ‘feel’ about what I see – have gone and delved within my database of memories and pictures, flipped through all the various memories as images stored inside myself until I found a memory/picture which had similar features to the one I was seeing now – where the points of ‘greasy hair’ and ‘skinny’ stood out – have identified a memory/image as a ‘match’, taken it ‘out of storage’ and upload the memory/image in and as myself within that moment, where I then  ‘pasted’ the energy experience associated with the stored memory/image of my mother having cancer, unto the current moment of me seeing myself being skinny and having greasy hair – and so ‘defined’ the moment for myself as ‘this is what death looks like’ – and all that, in less than a split second

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an automated organic robot which functions no different than the computer I am writing on this very moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I went to see my mother when she had cancer and seeing how skinny/bony she was and greasy hair – have connected the picture presentation of ‘being skinny and having greasy hair’ to the manifestation of ‘cancer’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a definitive relation inside myself with the point of ‘cancer’ and ‘death’ – where through education, parenting, media – cancer and death were almost always mentioned simultaneously – and where cancer has been portrayed as the ‘number one enemy’ as there is ‘no cure for cancer’ and ‘make sure you check yourself for cancer, because YOU COULD DIE!’ and other fear propagating campaigns

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when my mom had cancer, have believed that she would die through all the various memories of having seen/heard moments where cancer was followed by death in movies/news/internet stories – and where I connected my mom being skinny/bony and having greasy hair to ‘this is what death must look like’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that ‘being skinny/bony and having greasy’ does not have to be ‘what death looks like’ – and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I MADE THE DECISION that ‘being skinny and having greasy hair’ is ‘what death looks like’ – while this is not a reality but a made up idea which I try to impose upon reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to within the moment of seeing myself in the bathroom mirror and seeing how greasy my hair was and how skinny/bony I had become and experiencing shock/confusion about what I was seeing – have gone into memory to ‘define’ my experience for me where I defined it as ‘this is what death look like’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be here within and as Breath as my Human Physical body – where instead of going into reactive irrational fear towards the image I was seeing in the mirror – would have seen/understood that the body within being sick may temporarily have to appeal to additional resources such as fat and muscle tissue within the body in order to assist itself within the energy intensive process of re-aligning itself – and thus the ‘being skinny’ is simply a biomechanical consequence of one’s body working through disease – and does not have to mean anything more than that – and where the ‘greasy hair’ is simply a consequence of not prioritizing one’s looks as one is sick and not going out in any ‘public spaces’ where ‘appearance’ is apparently ‘important’ – and as such there is no point wasting one’s energy within trying to look ‘presentable’ as it is more practical to preserve one’s resource to assist the body within its process of restructuring

I commit myself to change my daily living within and as fear to daily living within and as Breath as the only point within which one can be Free

I commit myself to deconstruct myself as the ‘Fear Character’ within my Journey to Life in specificity and diligence – to no more accept and allow myself to live within a restricted version of reality behind the self-created prison bars of fear

I commit myself to identify and unravel all the fear points which in totality make up the ‘Fear Character’ which dominates my life – so that I can emerge as Life from the Physical and no more allow such self-constricting bullshit

When and as I see myself not being able to ‘place myself within a situation’ and go look for ‘past memories’ which have ‘similar features’ to the situation I am in within an attempt to ‘define my experience’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that hauling in the past and pasting past experienced unto the current moment is in no way assisting or supporting myself within ‘placing myself within a situation’ – as I am actually taking myself ‘out’ of the current moment and back into the past – and so distorting/falsifying the current moment with past experiences and then believe this “new” experience to ‘real’ – while all it is, is the recycling of memories

Within that, I commit myself to show that we only ever lived as characters within our daily lives, where we wake up in the morning and see our alarm clocks, and then filter through all the various memories we have of waking up in the mornings and seeing our alarm clocks, and then picking out the one which resembles the current picture the most and paste the past experience which is stored in the memory unto the current experience and believe this experience to be ‘real’ and what is going on ‘now’ – while all the while we never experience anything ‘new’ but our limited reality as our personality as the result of accumulated memories – and so with every new moment, every new picture we perceive through our eyes, all we do is filter through our database and give every moment as we walk through our day ‘meaning’ through past memories/experiences which have some correlation to the current moment as image presentation/smell/sound/taste where we use our senses in a limited fashion to dig up old memories with similar sensory signatures similar to the moment we are experiencing now – and within that override the current moment through imposing past experiences so we may never see what is really going on and what is really happening within our world as we keep ourselves locked within ‘what we already know’ as stored memories so we will not hear/listen when something is presented which is not already contained in our memory database such as the Desteni Message as it goes against everything we know and everything we’ve believed about ourselves and the world and so we will shun it and reject so we can uphold our Fort as our Character Reality and never change

I commit myself to show how we are all just organic robots no different from our Macs and PCs – where our actions and decisions are the outputs of inputs and where these inputs are determined by memory as childhood and parenting where how our parents brought us up in this world has a major effect on Character and as such it is of major importance to deconstruct our relationships with ourselves as imprinted by our parents

When and as I see myself accessing associations within a current moment’s picture presentation – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am moving away from the current moment into my mind as past experience whereby I am making something ‘more’ out of the current moment than what it is – which is proof of the inner psychotic in me and as such I cannot be trusted. Within that I commit myself to snap myself out of these moments and bring myself Here, into and as Breath and my Human Physical Body and what is REAL

I commit myself to show that Cancer is not the Number One Enemy as Cancer is only a reflection/consequence of who we are and how we treat one another – where cancer is the result from unequal treatment and as such we will manifest this inequality within ad as ourselves as manifested consequence to remind ourselves from our true nature and as such there will never be a Cure for Cancer as long as we do not Cure our Human Nature and Purify it to one that is Best for All Life

I commit myself to educate and train myself within common sense practicality within removing the layers of deception as Fears within and as me – so I may see the workings of Reality for what it is instead of seeing my personalized assumption customized through my Fear Character and living my Li(e)fe out in an Illusion

Related articles

• Interdimensional-Physical Relationships - Part 2: DAY 132
• The Sound within the Energy-Body of a Child - Part 2: DAY 105
• Day 39: What if something's Wrong with Me?
• Character Energy Resonance Dimensions - Part 2: DAY 130
• Day 27: Ticks and Tick Bite Fever - Part 2
• Life Review – My Life with Cancer

Day 35: Reversing Trust

My tick bite fever has subsided now, and now my physical body is just feeling ‘weak’ from the aftermath. I’m however still sitting with some points which opened up during my period of dis-ease.

One of these points is the point of self-trust. Bernard painfully pointed out while pushing a point on my shoulder that I am not trusting myself and seeing myself as weak. This point also got reflected in a sore point where my right occipital bone is, where the point of the ‘religion of self’ resides. And then my forearm running up to my wrist and thumb was painful/stiff as this point of fear and lack of self-trust was making me ‘inflexible’.

So basically while I was sick I understood the point that one has to face disease and sickness from a starting point of self-direction and self-movement, where you direct the disease as yourself out of your body. But while I was sick, the belief persisted that I am being a victim of the disease, and that I am a victim of the tick and the bite – and that all I can do is be an ‘observer’ within this event and just sit back tight in my body and ‘wait it out’ so to speak. I mean, I understood what had to be done – but I just didn’t see myself capable of ‘being here as my body and directing the disease as myself’ because of the intense trust/ faith/ belief I have placed on reality as “I know it”, which is a reality of separation – and so this trust / faith / belief in separation got reflected in my attitude within ‘being sick’ where I allowed myself to separate myself from my body, the disease and even the tick to the vastest extent. Within placing trust in separation, I placed myself as the victim and was in fear most of the time, because I wasn’t taking self-responsibility within the realisation that I am the creator of all of this: I am the creator of the tick, I am the creator of the virus, I am the creator of the experience of sickness. And because I took this point of responsibility/creation for granted, I believed I was ‘powerless’ and couldn’t do anything – but that was only because that was the position I placed myself in within trusting reality “as I know it” – which is a very limited reality.

I’ve been shown countless times during my process, the simplicity of what needs to be done and the simplicity of HOW it is done. It’s so simple it blows your mind away, because your mind just can’t fathom that it’s that simple, and comes up with all different kinds of excuses and justifications why it just can’t be that simple so that we won’t ever change.

For instance, one evening a few years back the power had tripped for the entire evening / night, and then we held a session where everyone was in the lounge sitting by the fire, and all sorts of beings would come through the portal to share their story. One of them was Piet Retief and he explained how even after he was dead he was still chasing Zulus for hundreds of years in the dimensions – where he had re-created the battlefield and just re-lived that one singular event over and over and over. Or Satan came through explaining how he used to be just a system and how scared he was when it was announced that all systems were going to be deleted in the dimensions and how delighted he was when he found out that he was still here after the deletion took place – lol.

That evening I had a realisation and Bernard went “You! What did you just realise?!” – and I said “Really anything is possible / Nothing’s impossible” – and then Bernard was like “Yep, that’s right”. And it’s true, listening to all the interviews and all the various ways we’ve fucked ourselves into eternity just demonstrates how we can really do and create ANYTHING WE WANT. Yet, when I am faced with a point like directing disease as myself I’m like “uuuugh noooo, can’t do it – me weeeeaaaak – disease is too stroooooong – this ‘anything’s possible’ doesn’t apply to me”. I mean WTF!

So today the simplicity of things was shown to me again. Some hours after Bernard initially pushed my points, he came to check up on me and my shoulder, and the pain was still there. So then he says “What do you know, you know you can trust. Because right now, you are trusting the world, you are trusting the system. So what do you do? You take that trust and place it as trust in a New World – and that’s all there is too it, it’s really simple. You take your trust and place it somewhere else. Where you now trust separation you move your trust to a World of Equality that’s Best for All, it’s simplicity isn’t it” and all that he says while waving his hand around and having this nonchalant look on his face like what he just said is the most common sensical, obvious thing in the world that even a kindergartener can grasp lol.

So now it is up to me to take this point of realization into practical application, and to actually trust myself that I am able to change, and that I am able to move beyond this limited version I’ve accepted myself to be as all that I can ever be.

Living on the farm, your view on ‘what is possible’ really gets challenged, and over and over again you are reminded that we can be so much more. Yet whenever I would hear stories / insights on how particular beings faced/transcended/changed through points, I would always just go “oh woaw, that’s so amazing!... but that’s not something I see myself doing” or “oh woaw, that’s so great… But I doubt I’ll ever be able to do that” – so it’s like, I am seeing in front of my face that we can be anything and anyone we want to be, but I’ll just sit back and go “Nah, not me – I can’t do that” and just go on living life as a little fear robot.

So now I am taking this tick bite fever event as an opportunity to look at the beliefs and fears which played out and move myself into self-trust and into my physical – and prove / show to myself that I can change – just as everyone else can.


To be continued…

Related articles

• Day 94: Did You Know?
• Day 103: Passion for Economics
• Day 123: TRUE ACTIVIST UNIVERSAL GRACE
• Day 97: The Holy Spirit is IN Me
• Day 116: Re-Defining Words to Living Words
• Day 101: Cosmic Being

Day 28: Ticks and Tick Bite Fever – Part 3

When and as I hear horror stories / see scary movie scenes and react to them within fear – I stop and I breathe – I commit myself to investigate why I am allowing myself to be imprinted with fear and untangle these points within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application

When and as I am faced with points of potential ‘danger’ and react within fear – I stop and I breathe – I look at what it is that I can do practically, as a common sense point of prevention as to not create any unnecessary consequence for myself, apply these points and then let go of the point of danger --- as I have seen/realised/understood/walked the point that pre-occupying oneself with fear is only worsening/limiting the situation for self and does not have any practical contribution to the problem – and so I let go, breathe and walk Here, in every moment of breath

When and as I see myself reaching for fear as a protection mechanism – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that reaching out to an experience of fear is like locking yourself up in your personal jail in the hope that nothing will happen to you / that you’re safe from the ‘outside world’ – but now within the fear of something happening, you’ve already trapped yourself – and so your own fear is really your own worst enemy – and thus I commit myself to investigate all patterns where I tend to reach for fear as a protection mechanism, write it out , let go and correct myself

When and as I see myself changing/altering my behaviour towards something or someone in my environment after having received a ‘new piece of information’ – I stop and I breathe – I see/realise/understand that I now have created a new relationship / new character in relation to the thing/being where I added my own layer/dimension– and started participating with them/it through this layer instead of participating with them actually, direct – and thus I commit myself to investigate my relationship with all beings, people, objects and remove all the illusionary layers and characters which I have created throughout my life based on memory as stored information – so I can finally allow myself to participate within this physical world for real, and let go of my own ‘personal/customized’ “version” of reality – which was never real

When and as I see myself reacting within fear when having to make a decision – I stop and I breathe – I look at all the points within common sense and make a decision within the moment – and if I find myself unable to consider all points effectively because of fear possession, I get someone else involved to cross-reference the information to make sure that I do not make stupid decisions, and in fact consider all the points/dimensions involved

I commit myself to not make my Life on Earth more unpleasant than it has to be – by committing myself to stop all Back Chat and remove all Characters which I’ve created/accumulated over the years – so I may finally be here, as this physical reality and find out how things work for real

Day 22: Back Chat - Self-Correction - Part 2

When and as I see myself participating within back chat – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that participating in back chat only serves the back chat itself and not me as a human being within practically living within this world and my environment from an equal and one starting point – and there is thus no point to participate within this.

Within this I commit myself to discipline myself to stop all backchat and be here within every moment of breath – and to expose how back chat only serves to feed itself and does not consider what is Best for All Life

When and as I see myself shifting from one mood to another within my day – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that if I continue to participate within this pattern of shifting from one polarity to the next, the shifting will be never ending, and additionally I see and realise that moods in itself serve no practical purpose but to limit self within one’s self-application where one will act based on experience instead of acting within the consideration and starting point of what is Best for All Life and What Needs to be Done.

 Within this I commit myself to stop shifting from one polarity to another and step outside the polarity construct and simply be here as breath – constant and continuous – being the same in one moment and the next

When and as I see myself participating within backchat as thought, feelings and emotions –  I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that breath is here to assist and support me within grounding myself within every moment – and thus I accept this gift and embrace breath and assist and support myself to be aware within and as breath within every moment

Within this I commit myself to breathe effectively and show others how breath is the gift of life which can embrace to assist and support self within the Journey to Life

When and as I see myself participating within backchat as thoughts, feelings and emotions – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am in fact sabotaging myself through adding additional layers of crap within myself, only making this more difficult for myself and prolonging my process – instead of being here, breathing within every moment as to not add anything but come to a point of removing and walking back the accepted and allowed layers of self as self-dishonesty

Within this I commit myself to be diligent in being here within every moment of breath and commit myself to the 7 Year Journey to Life where I push myself to remove the layers of self-dishonesty that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – and to walk with and assist andsupport others who have chosen the same journey

Day 14 - Trusting Fear - Anxiety and Me - Part 4

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find a sense of comfort and familiarity within fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have connected 'fear' with 'comfort' and 'familiarity'

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that this sense of comfort is not real -- as it is only the result of habitual conditioning of experiencing energy as fear where I have gotten used to experiencing fear and accepted it to be a part of 'Who I Am' and what defines me -- and where I thus find comfort within experiencing a part of 'me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of control within experiencing fear and anxiety within having something which is 'familiar' and 'certain' to be right by my side when in situations of uncertainty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the belief that fear helps me -- where in the past I faced points within fear and came out just fine, and where I had accredited this outcome of being fine / it wasn't that big of a deal, to the energetic experience of fear instead of accrediting it to myself and how I directed myself within the particular situation that I found myself in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the belief that fear helps me to drive myself and prepare myself for situations -- where I end up being able to deal with a situation quite well and then accredit this outcome to the energetic experience of fear -- instead of seeing and realising that this was actually the result brought about by my own work through preparation and consistency and not anything to do with the energetic experience inside myself -- as I would have been able to achieve the same result with the same actions but without the energetic fear experience being present

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that fear in essence has no power whatsoever in terms of providing control, preparation and safety --- as fear can only do one thing which is feeding itself and had no practical purpose whatsoever for the being experiencing it -- it's basically a parasite

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have placed my trust outside of myself where 'it must have been something else' in terms of why something worked out for myself instead of seeing and realising that I had created this outcome for myself through my actions as preparation and that I should thus give myself credit and allow myself to trust myself instead of some energetic experience as fear which happened to also be there while I was walking through the point, but is not the reason why things worked out for myself -- and within that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that if fear helps me and thus I should listen to my fear and basically shut down and not do anything -- that I would not have gotten anywhere at all, only showing how completely useless fear is

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not worthy of trusting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot be trusted by default

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to make mistakes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect failing at something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect not being able to do something -- at least not on my own

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to gift myself trust

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that there is nothing "wrong" or "bad" about mistakes -- it only means that I missed a point and where a learning opportunity emerges to not miss the same point again -- and is thus an opportunity to expand and grow within myself

When and as I find myself finding comfort within fear and anxiety -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I have made this connection within myself through habitual conditioning and that this relationship between the two points is not real in fact: I created it

When and as I find myself placing my trust in fear to tell me what to do -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that fear can only feed fear and has no practical use whatsoever and does not have my best interest at heart -- instead I place my trust within myself and trust that I can direct myself appropriately within any given situation within the context of what needs to be done

When and as I see myself not feeling worthy of trusting myself -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that this thinking pattern emerged from my past within my childhood family environment and educational upbringing and does in no way have to dictate how I live my life -- instead I allow myself to trust myself and commit myself to unraveling and releasing myself from my past so that my past no longer has the power to dictate my future

When and as I find myself givin credit to any emotion/feeling or thought for the outcome of a particular situation -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that emotions, feelings and thoughts have no such power as they are confined to my head only and that any physical action which as a particular outcome as result -- is due to that physical action -- and that the same outcome could have been achieved without the emotions, feelings or thoughts but NOT without the actual  physical actions which led to the particular outcome/result. Within that I also see and realise that emotions, feelings and thoughts only have the power I give to them and that it is up to me to act upon them or not -- and that without me acting upon them or feeding them, they are not of any significance as they can be stopped at any given moment without it ceasing my existence lol