Finding my Desteni - How I was Able to Hear the Desteni Message

I remember the day that I first got into contact with Desteni.

I was sitting in my sister’s room, browsing around on her laptop. I was bored, and decided to look for some videos on YouTube. At that time, my brother, sister and I were very much into spirituality and conspiracy theories (sister to a lesser extent), and at that time specifically, we were into “orgone energy”. So I looked around for some orgone energy videos (we had been making some orgone pyramids) to see if I could find some ‘new’ info that I hadn’t found before, get some more ‘excitement’ out of it.

As I was watching one of the orgone videos on YouTube, I noticed a peculiar thumbnail on the right side by the featured videos. I clicked on it and started watching the video. I thought the whole ‘breathing in and out’ at the start of the video was a bit weird, but I continued watching.

As the person was talking through the video I found that he was speaking a bit weird. And I mean, Wilhelm Reich was supposed to be dead, so how was he going to be giving an interview on YouTube – even better – an interview on YouTube as a 14 year old boy.

I thought, “Man, poor child, he must have been forced by his parents to memorize this script and then say it out loud to a camera for it to be uploaded on YouTube”. But then, as the video went on, I realised that the way the person in the video was speaking, behaving – was just ‘too natural’ to match my idea of some abused teenager who was forced to memorize a ten minute script.

I was quite intrigued with the video and wanted to find out more, so I went to check out his YouTube channel. There I saw that the channel had more than 500 videos uploaded, which in my eyes confirmed that this could not have been a ‘force case’. I also went to check out the website at the end of the video and I couldn’t find anything related to money or making money out of the videos they were doing. I couldn’t grasp why someone would be faking 500 videos for no money so I decided that either this person’s a complete nutcase – or must be very passionate and driven about something (and 500+ videos, that’s something very admiring in terms of someone’s dedication).

I checked out some more videos and they all made sense to me.

I then also visited the forum and found out the person in the video was a 24 year old female (Oopsie!), I introduced myself and continued absorbing all the videos and articles.

The videos about the Mind Consciousness System and how thoughts and images feed and energize your mind made a lot of sense to me. You see, a few months, maybe a year, before I got all into spirituality, I basically ‘made’ myself be somewhat ‘anorexic’. Throughout my life I had always been fascinated by anorexic girls and how they had the willpower to abstain from food (I mean, I LOVE FOOD). Then the one day, I was watching a documentary on tv about some anorexic girls, which give a pretty good picture of their thought patterns, as those became apparent during the interviews with them. So then I thought, “Hey, instead of anorexia “happening” to me like a “disease”, I could just manage my thoughts, and deliberately think the way they do, and manage it that way!”. This might sound very weird, but I was very bored with my life at that time, and I was looking for a ‘goal’, something to achieve, a ‘purpose’ to give my life direction. So then, that’s what I did.

I found it very exciting to play this ‘secret game’, always having to make sure my family wouldn’t take notice in this change of “lifestyle” that I had adopted. I started losing a lot of weight and getting a lot of compliments from the people around me. I absolutely loved it.

At times when I was down I would take my diary and write out my “managed thoughts”, to kind of ‘force them’ into reality – and surprisingly it worked! I found that writing was very effective in terms of re-enforcing the behaviour that I was looking for within myself. I’d also flip through fashion magazines, keep a scrap book where I kept the best model pictures – and when I was really having a ‘dip’ or a bad day in terms of ‘not eating food’, I’d take one of the images and re-draw them in my diary. I got so good at constantly forcing myself to think about losing weight and calories and exercising  -- that it just became an automated part of me and I didn’t have to ‘deliberately’ do it anymore – it had just become me.

So when I came to the point where I was like “Fuck, this is getting out of hand (I was very drowsy, feeling nauseas, sometimes feeling like I was about the faint), I’ve got to stop this.” I tried, but then I noticed how this whole new behaviour had just “taken over” and I had lost control. The thoughts, the pictures in my head – they just kept coming!

I eventually got over it, but it took a whole long while to get there.

So when I was watching the Desteni videos on how you program yourself with your thoughts, how you ‘motivate’ your mind with pictures = I knew that the information that the being in the video was sharing was true, because I had experienced (and enforced it) first hand.

So I just knew that Desteni was the real shit, and as I went along with the new videos it just kept on being re-confirmed. I also knew the power writing had, so I started to use it for the first time to actually assist myself (instead of breaking myself down).

Since then, I’ve been able to live a lot more satisfying life. Desteni teaches you how to take control over your own inner-world, teaches you to appreciate yourself and stand for something real. I did not have to look for a ‘goal’ or a ‘purpose’ anymore, it was right here – it was Desteni.

My Family & Desteni

During my entire childhood I had a very bad relationship with my father. I mostly spoke Dutch at home with my mother, brother, sister as well as at school – while my father spoke French and Spanish. I was always very scared of my father, he’d come home angry and frustrated from work and then take it out on us kids. My main experiences towards my father had been fear and anger and I kept my distance.

 Ever since I started participating with the Desteni, I could through the many videos, articles, forum discussion and interviews assist myself with better getting to know myself and understand how my experiences operate. At the same time I also discovered and was able to see why my dad acted the way he did – and that things weren’t as ‘simple’ as I had thought them to be (Eg – “He acts this way because he’s evil”). I could work through my own personal issues towards my father and within that change my attitude and approach in how I participated daily with my father. Once I started changing towards my father, my father started changing towards me.  Our relationship improved a little bit, but not that much.

 Then, after being on the farm for two years, my mom came for a second visit and my dad came with. For the first time in my life I was able to have an actual conversation with my dad. It wasn’t yet a ‘natural’ point but at least it was comfortable. Then a year and a half later (and some moreself-investigation and self-forgiveness later), my parents visited again – and for the first time in my life I was able to have actual fun with my father, have a cool conversation and enjoy each other’s company. It’s like we decided to open up a new chapter and leave the past behind. What had been done, had been done and there was no point holding on to it.

“If God Wanted Us To Live Together In Harmony, He’d Made Us Look All The Same”

And God Created different Races...

I started reading the True Blood books not so long ago, and after having read for a while I decide that I also wanted to re-watch the previous seasons.

At some point in the first season Sookie (who can read other’s minds / hear thoughts), is busy waitressing at Merlotte’s and for a moment in the scene they show the various thoughts people are having at the bar.
One of those people is a man sitting by the bar having a beer. One of his thoughts goes something like this: “This isn’t right, all these people living together like they belong. Whites, blacks, vampires… If God wanted us to live together in harmony, he would have made us look all the same.”

And in that moment while I was watching that scene, what he was saying made sense and I agreed with his statement. Though – there are two ways one can look at his statement.

It is one thing to observe that “God” had made us in a particular design and ‘obey’ / ‘conform’ to this design and another to observe design “God” gave us and question its intentions.

Firstly, you could look at it the way the character in the story does: “God did not make us look all the same, thus – we should not be living together in harmony, it’s not right”.
And secondly you could look at the statement by investigating God’s role more closely: “If God wanted us to live together in harmony, he would have made us look all the same – so why didn’t he?”

So why didn’t God make us look all the same? Why did God make us look different, have different skin colours, speak different languages, have different religions, different cultures? What are “God’s” intentions really?

Because looking at the design and outflow of things, his intentions are revealing themselves to be quite questionable. I can only find one reason why God would have made us look all different – and that is that he is deliberately attempting to breed disarray. And why would he want to do that? Well, if I place myself in the shoes of God as someone who is deliberately trying to create chaos and conflict within the world, where entire Genocides manifest because of this singular point – and who is very much aware of the consequence as I, as God am omniscient and know the beginning and end of things – well then…I must be evil. It’s that plain and simple.

Being aware of this one point, seeing and realising that this singular point in existence is questionable in terms of God’s intentions and plans for existence – doesn’t it make you kind of wonder about everything else in the world? If God was being an asshole in this one point, what would keep him from screwing with Life on Earth in any other area? Then if you start looking at other facets of our reality you can really spot God’s great enthusiasm for screwing things up to the ultimate point of dysfunctionality and ruin: poverty, war, disease, pollution, scarcity, starvation, extinction – the list goes on.

The question that arises is whether we will sit back and allow this existence to be as is – as God intended it to be --  Or whether we will stand up and take responsibility for ourselves and our fellow beings on Earth and transform this planet to a place where all can live in harmony in fact.

Equal Money is the first step – investigate: www.equalmoney.org

Minority Report – Once you’ve seen the Future, you can change it

I recently watched the movie ‘Minority Report’ with Tom Cruise.

The movie is about a ‘Pre-crime’ unit in the near future (2054), who rely on three “psychics” who are able to see a (murder) crime before it had been committed. The visions they get are placed on high tech screen panels where the detectives of the pre-crime unit try to find clues as to where this crime is going to take place. Once they know where it is they pack themselves with their futuristic gadgets, search robots – get out there and arrest the criminal just before he/she commits the crime.

One of the Detectives (Tom Cruise) then finds out that one of the precogs (= one of the psychics) had a vision of him killing someone that he doesn’t even know. He is now obviously wants to prevent this murder from happening. While he runs from the authorities he tries to uncover why he would want to kill this person. He is also faced with a dilemma. The whole Pre-Crime unit is based on the starting point of pre-determination (= pre-programming). If he is able to prevent the murder then he can clear is name, but then at the same time it would demonstrate that people have “choice”, and thus that ‘Pre-Crime’ is not absolute.

In the end he is just, just able to prevent the murder from happening. As he is standing ready to shoot the guy and all the points are coming together for this single event to happen – one of the precogs he took with on his search, Agatha, tells him “You don’t have to do this, once you’ve your future you can change it”. And then he ends up not killing the guy.

But now in the end of the movie they used this whole point of “choice” as an excuse to shut down the whole pre-crime unit. But the only person who ever had a ‘choice’ from all those who had been spotted as future criminals was Tom Cruise, because he was the only one of them who had seen their own future. All of the other ones, would have still committed the crime because “they didn’t know better”. So now in a way what the movie is implying is that everyone can change their future, but like they demonstrated earlier this is not true. Only those who have seen their future – who in essence have seen their programming – can change their future. So you really only have choice within that one single moment, where you see how you operate and how you are programmed to behave – and then you either decide to follow your pre-programmed path – or you choose to step of it. But unless that point is not present, the point of seeing your future/programming – you do not have a choice and you are simply a slave to your ‘destiny’.

And this is exactly what one of Desteni’s objectives is – to show and teach people how to see their own programming, to see how and what they’re going to do before they’ve even done it – and give them the practical tools to change their fate. Because – what is implied in the statement “Once you’ve seen your future you can change it”? It implies you do not only know your future, but you also know your past. And it is by knowing your past, by knowing the exact factors, events, people, reactions that played a role in moulding and shaping who you are today– that you hold the key to see the future, you hold the key to change your future.
See your Future, check out www.desteni.co.za

I Have the Right to Be How I Am

When I was in primary school, maybe about 9 years old – I was walking with some friends from school towards our homes. One of the girls had started getting bullied because she gossiped a lot about pretty much everyone. She was saying something like “I can’t change who I am, I have the right to be who I am, and if anyone disagrees with how and who I am then that’s their problem”.

When she said it, everyone was just kind of silent because this was kind of a huge concept (remember, we were nine year old and we’re talking about ‘beingness’ and ‘freedom of expression’). Most of us nodded but I couldn’t help myself but think that the statement she made was just not right.

I mean, she was basically saying that, although her behaviour was harmful, no-one had the right to ask her to change because that would infringe her beingness as a whole – which is sacred.

It’s interesting to see how already from a young age, this ingrained belief exists that you cannot change and you will not change because that would simply be disrespectful. And this whole ‘I have the right to be who I am’ belief – will at any given time even prevent someone from even just attempting to change. Because if you attempt to change, well then you are admitting that there’s something “wrong” or “off” with you and that’s just too hard for the ego to handle.

Back then, I would have probably used the exact same excuse to get away with my behaviour. Instead of taking responsibility for my behaviour, simply say that “this is who I am” and asking me to “change who I am” is rude, and thus I am actually the victim of your request for me to take self-responsibility (=asking me to change).

I think this whole concept of “I am who I am and if you don’t like it then f*ck off” attitude came pretty much from all the music we listened. When I was that age we (girls) were mostly into Britney Spears, Spice Girls, Destiny’s Child etc. – and they were full of this stuff.

Even in today’s music and how relationships are portrayed in the media this point of “freedom of speech” or “freedom of expression” gets linked to one’s ‘personality’ – where one’s personality is sacred and divine no matter what and if you question or demand someone to change, you are an abuser of free speech. So all we’re doing is hiding from taking responsibility simply because we have this fucked up idea that we cannot change and we shouldn’t’ change because “we’re just right the way we are”. But if you have a look at the playouts in this world, the policies and rules that we implement = it is quite obvious that “who we are” and “how we behave” is NOT okay.

What Desteni and the Desteni message is trying to do, is to show that how we’ve created this world is not okay and that we have the power to change and make a difference. By changing ourselves and by changing the world – one step at a time. To deny yourself change, is to deny responsibility.

For more on changing yourself visit the Desteni Website
For more in changing the world visit the Equal Money Website

Proof of Pre-Programming

For a few months we had moved the parrots and their cages to a different spot in our room. The way they were placed now, was in a way that our little birdie (a female house sparrow) was close to the parrots their space. Recently we’ve moved the parrots and their cages/structures to another part of the room again.

A few days ago we were busy with birdie talking to her in her cage and saw that she was displaying completely new behaviour. When we’d come close with a strange object she’d puff herself up and open her wings and make noise – which is a typical parrot thing to do when they’re scared and want to scare the other thing away. And here’s this little tiny birdie acting the exact same way!

We also have this thing where if the Parrots don’t stop their tantrums for attention, we spray them a bit with a little water spray bottle we have in our room. They’ll then make a big hoo-ha but stop what they’re doing.

What is interesting is that we never ever sprayed birdie because she’s not an attention beggar like the parrots. But when we put the water bottle spray thing close to her or show it to her she acts as if she’s a parrot that’s being sprayed lol and acts all offended. Also when we let her out flying, no matter what we do she goes out and sit on the parrot cages. She doesn’t even want to fly around or anything, she just wants to hang out with her fellow ‘flock mates’. Even though she thinks she’s a parrot, the parrots disagree and mostly try and bite her through the cage. Even after she got bitten she wouldn’t fly away from them but just stay there. So now we can’t let her out because she doesn’t get that they want to kill her. So now we can only let her out under strict supervision.

These events show how the environment plays a role in terms of programming a being. Input – Output.

Another “cool” confirmation point is that the Parrots will react to certain inputs – such as Gian making Eagle sounds – and produce a certain output – while they’ve never actually heard or seen an eagle. (When Gian made the sound the all crashed in a frenzy into the window).

When we still had TweeTweet the little flycatcher, whenever she’d see an eagle in the sky through the window, she’d shriek reeaaaally loud and then hide underneath our desks until the eagle was out of sight (even though she never got into direct contact with them).

When I first found out about Desteni I was very sceptical about this whole ‘pre-programming’ point and was looking at ways how I could show to myself that I was indeed a programmed robot. So one day as I was talking to my friends about the subject of being programmed beings, we kept on stumbling on points where the behaviour would always be something that was ‘taught’ and thus not pre-programmed. So then I looked at ‘What do I do in my reality that was not taught but has always been with me’. And then I fell upon the point of dreaming. Nobody is able to show or teach you how to dream at night – yet you are doing it. For me this was my ‘aha’ moment, of yes, I am a organic robot lol.

Or for instance, a few weeks ago I was doing a session of Contemporary Dance exercises with Maite. At some point we wanted to integrate doing ‘a wheel’ (you know where you go sideways and go stand on your hands and then keep going so you end up back on your legs) in a sequence of movements. In the exercise I kept doing the wheel at my left side, but Maite said, no you must do it from the right side. So I was like, ok fine, I’ll do it from the right side doesn’t matter.

But then when I wanted to initiate doing the wheel from the right, the moment where I have to go and put my hands on the floor and get my legs in the air – I stopped and I screamed! LOL
Because, it was so weird as if I was about to set my hands into some sort of abyss. I tried again but the exact same thing happened – I had no idea what I had to do and hit a void. Then I realised I only ever practised doing the wheel from the one side of my body and not the other when I was a kid. And whenever I would attempt doing the right side it literally felt like there was a file missing in my program.

Then Maite tried doing the left side and she had her big stop and shout moment, and was also completely astonished. We had to re-teach ourselves to do the wheel on the other side in small little steps and make everything bigger as we went along, but we really felt the struggle as we had to structure and create this new program for ourselves.

So those were some of my moments where I went “Oh woaw, I really am an organic robot” =).
In a way these little realisations are cool because as long as you’re specific in how you program yourself you know you’ll be able to carry out the task.

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Practical Agreement: Body Support

One of the things that I’ve enjoyed tremendously (and am still enjoying) from the start of my agreement are body massages – mmm!

It first started when Gian and I were sitting in the lounge by the fire and Bernard still has his desk and pc right next to the fire place. As we were sitting there Bernard told us to hold hands and feel the touch – “Isn’t that so nice?” he said. That it was lol.

We’d then start with just holding hands while sitting in the lounge listening to beings in the Portal telling their story or Bernard doing an interview.We would use the physical touch through the hands as a point of support to remain ‘here’ and not go off into the mind as thoughts.

Later we then moved from playing and massaging the hand to the arm, back etc until we were comfortable to start massaging the whole body.

First we went through a phase of “Resistance”. We’d be doing a massaging session and I would be uncomfortable with Gian massaging me on certain spots and sometimes just burst out into laughter because some spots were just soooo ticklish! This was cool to identify what judgments, feelings/emotions, and value points one has given to certain areas of the body. During the massage you can simply ‘breathe’ through the experience and just take note of any thoughts / points that pop up in relation to the body parts / areas. As you breathe it is like a wave washing away the ideas and beliefs attached to those points – like a cleansing. Then, later, you can write down the points as thoughts / judgments / emotions and apply Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements on all the points.

Then we went through a ‘Pain’ phase – where we’d specifically massage parts that were painful or tight. You’ll find that when someone points out to you that they are aching in a particular spot and you gently feel the area with your fingers/hands – that there will be like a hard type of ‘clump’ somewhere in the flesh. These are crystals that are manifested overtime through compression and accumulation. We will then massage the spot with the crystal until it becomes smaller and smaller (and asking the other to breathe through the pain) and move it out of the body. If you do massaging often you will become very quickly acquainted to the typical “problem areas” and find these crystals fairly easy. I also sometimes use my partner’s skin condition as guideline / map of what to be on the lookout for. If he for instance has a bunch of pimples emerging in one particular ‘isolated’ area – then I will go and investigate with my hands. Many times the muscle and skin will be very tight there and would indicate some anger issues having planted themselves into the flesh.

If one is able to identify the point in relation to which the crystal manifested, you can apply Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements. You can identify it through it simply popping up right there in the moment, like you just “know” that that’s the point. If you have been participating within the Desteni I Process and are familiar wit Muscle Communication, then you can use this as a tool to pinpoint the exact issue. At some point we had many printouts of a page with the outline of a body on it and space for writing. We’d then make a little dot on the spot where pain or discomfort was experienced to use Muscle Communication to identify the exact point.
You can also run a little search in Veno’s Structural Resonance to give yourself context in relation to the point. You can also lay Osho Tarot Cards if you have these available to yourself or flip through Louise Hay’s “You Can Heal your Body” book – so lots of options.

Then we went through a phase of “In the moment Self-Forgiveness”. One of us would be giving a massage to the other and the one receiving the massage would apply Self-Forgiveness on any and all points that would come up in the moment until all was clear. Oh, massages are also great to bring up any suppressed points. Your body holds and stores everything has memory within itself. By stimulating the physical through massaging these points can open up and can then be faced – so if your partner is crying, it might not be your awful massaging techniques ;).

What else…

Blind Massaging! One of the many benefits of having so many visitors coming over from overseas is those eye cover thingies that you get in the plane. We would use these to blindfold ourselves and do massages with touch as the only point of stimulation for the senses. This can be a really cool experience. If you breathe and massage for long enough you will find that at one point you cannot distinguish your own body from your partner’s and it feels like you are just one, merged body. You can do this without blindfolds as well but the blindfolding has a way of intensifying touch more easily. You can obviously also move on to doing other things with you blindfolds :P.

Massages in a Jacuzzi or a nice hot bath with salt and vinegar can be quite pleasant as well. The warm water helps with relaxing the body and allow your fingers to really “get in there” – watch that your partner doesn’t fall asleep (group massages can also be done in Jacuzzi, in the end you don’t know whose foot your holding or who is holding yours lol).

So here some points that one can play with explore in an agreement or just with a good friend. Beware though of getting yourself involved into any sort of sexual vibes when you first start of with massaging (especially if you are not massaging your partner). Take note of the trigger and the program playing out but breathe through it and do not allow yourself to participate within it and create a mind fuck. Practice touch being just that = touch – no matter where it is on the body, all areas equal.

Play with different hand movements like stroking, squeezing, rubbing, tapping, etc. We also use oil on the body to assist with the easy flow of the hands on the body so you can play with that too, using oil or no oil. When you are receiving a massage, take note of what you enjoy and apply this to your partner as well.
The more you practice the better you’ll get.

Massage all parts equally. Whether you are only giving a quick back rub or a full body massage – make sure you give both sides of the body equal attention with your touch. It is not very nice to be left at the end of a session with one or more body parts screaming for more attention lol.

It might also be a good idea to drink a nice cup of water after a session. A lot of toxins will try to find their way out of the body and if you are not sufficiently hydrated to assist your body with this process, then you might find yourself  with quite an unpleasant head ache.

Enjoy!

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