Day 176: Does Wisdom come with Age?

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 173: My Moral Code & Politics
Day 174: Don't talk Politics!
Day 175: Mother Knows Best!

When and as I see myself react within fear and anxiety when a person responds to me within strong conviction and emotion -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that my fear and anxiety is originating from not understanding what is going on within the situation and not knowing how to place the person's emotionally charged response into context -- and so I commit myself to stop, breathe and ground myself out of the fear into my body so that I can hear what is being said instead of react and work only with that

When and as I see myself react within immediate acceptance when receiving a response from an adult / any person older that me from the starting point that 'they know best' - I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that the viability of a person's answer/response does not rest on age but on the words spoken and their mathematical relationship within common sense -- and so I commit myself to within those moments, stop, breathe and listen/hear to the words being said/shared and to consider the words spoken and what their implications are and assess from there instead of using age as an only variable of validity

When and as I see myself react to a person conveying a message within strong conviction and emotion and interpret this behaviour as 'if he/she feels so strongly about this, he/she must have good reason for this statement and is probably right' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that how a person feels about a particular point does not increase the viability of the statement / point -- but is only an indicator of just that = how the person feels/experiences the point and so I commit myself to breathe and let go of the idea that conviction/strong emotion = truthfullness and move myself to hear the words spoken / shared and consider the viability of the system within the context of the words spoken/shared only within investigating their relationship and implications and whether or not these stand within what is Best for All Life

When and as I see myself go into a zombie mode of merely accepting what is being said to me from the starting point of "parents know best -- they've survived in this world for so long, there must be truthfulness in what they say" -- I stop and I breathe, I see and realise that this form of reasoning cannot be trusted as this only implies that they have been able to follow/comply with the system but this in itself does not say anything about the truthfulness/validity of the system itself

When and as I see myself wanting to ask/inquire about another person's political standpoint/point of view and react to this within the belief/anticipation/fear/anxiety that "bad things will happen if I do this" -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that this is a response pattern that was instructed to me which I accepted and allowed within me without testing out whether the statement is actually real and so I commit myself to simply inquire/ask and receive the response unconditionally

When and as I see myself react to other people inquiring/asking/commenting on my political standpoint / point of view within an experience of offense wherein "everyone deserves to keep their political views/standpoints secret/private" and "my political standpoints/views are none of anyone else's business’-- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am running on an outdated script copied from my parents and so I commit myself to stop, breathe and respond openly and within that I commit myself to investigate my experience within sharing openly and identifying/flagging any points of uncomfortability for further self-investigation and correction

When and as I see myself seeing a point within another words which I do not see as making sense, such as having friends but not being open about one's political view with them, and going into a response of 'nah' and brushing away / suppressing the point as non-important / me probably being wrong -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I have the ability to hear and assess words and so I commit myself to speak when such a point arises and open up the point -- because even if I am wrong I will then be able to see why and correct myself rather than brushing away the point and not doing anything with it while at the same time not really being satisfied/understanding of the answer given to me

Day 142: Respecting Beliefs

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 130: Holding Myself Back
Day 131: Timidity
Day 139: Taking things Personal is Self-Interest
Day 140: Opting for Avoidance over Change
Day 141: Why are you so Mean to Me?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that there was only ‘one way’ to have fun / enjoyment within playing around with the computer as ‘my way’ which was only within consideration of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have held on to the idea of fun/enjoyment as how I had defined it within myself which was within the starting point of self-interest within doing things ‘my way’ and how I wanted to explore things – without taking into consideration how ‘my way of fun’ may possible affect others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when faced with conflict/friction as my father being angry when things would go wrong with the pc after me playing around with – have gone into the polarity point of ‘doing it in secret’ or ‘not doing it at all’ from the starting point of the belief that ‘my way of doing things’ was ‘the right way’ and ‘the only way’ where instead of looking how I could change what I was doing to a way that was considerate of other people in my reality I only cared about myself and my own self-enjoyment and was not willing to give this up for the sake of improving things for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my ‘fun/play-time’ would not be ‘fun’ anymore if I have to change/adapt myself into consideration of others, where I made the decision to do it in ‘secret’ or ‘not at all’ because I was not willing to change and wanted to hold on to my idea of ‘fun’ and believed that if I start changing my methods that takes into consideration others that this completely ‘ruins’ the point and that it is then useless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken on the stance of ‘it’s my way’ or ‘no way’ in terms of how I wanted to have fun, where any change to how I believed what ‘fun’ consisted of was completely unacceptable and was not willing myself to change ‘my way’ to a way that fits everyone else better as well, where instead of looking at where I am coming from, seeing that I am acting from within self-interest and correcting my behaviour – I went into a form of spitefulness within moving myself into secrecy or ‘not doing it at all’ to “protest” and show my “resistance” to what had been shown to me – not seeing and realising that this was not getting me anywhere but only further perpetuating my own self-limitation within only ever taking myself into consideration and in no way be willing to consider others in my reality, which is me only tightening my self-entrapment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to have fun ‘my way’ no matter the consequence or repercussion of this ‘my way’ – where I believed/perceived any criticism to ‘my way’ as a direct attack/violation of my ‘beingness’ as if they were attacking me personally – not seeing and realising that what was pointed out to me that the way I was doing things was flawed and could be improved in a way that takes others into consideration as well – but where I did not even consider this perspective because I was too busy being offended / feeling attacked, where all I could think about was the ‘grave offense’ that had been done unto me as criticising ‘who I am’ where I believed this was something one could simply NOT do, as I believed that everyone was born with a particular “god given” expression and that one thus has no choice in ‘who one is’ and that any such criticism is thus out of the question

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must respect others’ expressions, attitudes, beliefs and behaviour no matter what – where everyone has the right to ‘be themselves’ and where I thus also demand that other respect my expressions, attitudes, beliefs and behaviour as some form of sacred/holy grail that is not allowed to be touched – and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider the consequences and implications of such an acceptance and allowance, where within this one belief one allows and accepts all forms of abuse to take place within this world, just on this one point

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that it is not okay to not question one’s believes, expression, attitudes and behaviour when these are in clear misalignment and violation with what is Best for All Life – which is basically like saying that everyone is allowed to harm anything and anyone if it pleases them so which is completely unacceptable

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the ‘unique expression’ each one has that I believed to be “god-given” and is “without any choice” is merely the result/outcome of one’s environment, upbringing and education – where one’s “expression” as ‘who one is ‘ is the result of one’s acceptances and allowances and in no way ‘holy’ or ‘sacred’ or ‘specific to the being’ but merely the result of input/output – and as such, any criticism towards how one expresses oneself is a criticism to one’s acceptance and allowance – which then require to be investigated and addressed accordingly

Related articles

• Day 140: Opting for Avoidance over Change
• Day 141: Why are you so Mean to Me?
• Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!
• Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
• Don't you Dare Blaming me - Overview - Day 244
• Dag 73: Afraid of Petrification