Day 190: Giving up on Myself - The Spoiled Brat Syndrome
Day 191: Giving up on Myself - My Life is so Rough (Part 2)
Day 192: Giving up on Myself - Happiness Drone (Part 3)
Day 193: Giving up on Myself - The Quick Fix Cycle (Part 4)
When and as I see myself being apathetic -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that apathy is part of the problem within the world as a reaction to a world of inequality and injustice – but not a solution and so I commit myself to move myself out of apathy as passive resistance and to instead engage myself actively within ensuring that I use my time / every breath effectively within contributing towards the establishment of World Equality as a World I would like to live in
When an as I see myself not wanting to do something which I see requires to be done or not wanting to do what someone asks me to do because I don't want to give up what I am currently doing and the 'positive'/'good vibe' energy charge connected to it -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am basing my experience on energy variables as attachments to definitions and within that base my decisions upon my experience which was determined by energy/definition – which has no relation to common sense mathematical reasoning or consideration in anyway whatsoever and so I commit myself to disregard the charges and to see within common sense practicality whether or not I am able to do what was asked and move myself accordingly and I commit myself to investigate the various positive and negative charges I accepted and allowed myself to attach to particular tasks/engagements as word definition and to clear them through Self forgiveness and redefine them
When and as I see myself wanting to be cared for -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that if I want to be cared for I have to first take care of myself and be willing to take care of others as a point of principle and example and thus this is what I commit myself to do
When and as I see myself believe that I am better / more important than other people -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I do not want to be on the opposite end as being seen as less than and less important but would like to be considered equally in all things and thus I commit myself to do the same for others within the principle of Give as you would Like to Receive
When and as I see myself not caring about other people -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I would not want to be in a position where people do not care about me and thus I commit myself to care for others as I would like to be cared for within the principle of Give as you would Like to Receive
When and as I see myself believe that I have a right to comfort -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I cannot demand and complain about ‘my right to comfort’ as long as I am doing shit about other people having been denied a life of comfort due to greed and self-interest and so I commit myself to stop greed and self-interest within me and to engage myself and use my time effectively to ensure that whatever I do benefits the whole – where my own personal desire for comfort is not allowed to compromise or prolong the discomfort for others
When and as I see myself just 'wanting to do nothing' -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am coming from an energetic polarity experience where I perceive myself to ‘have done a lot’ and now want to reward myself with ‘doing nothing’ – where all I am looking at and considering are internal energy experiences which have got nothing to do with reality and what is Best for All and so I commit myself to stop and investigate my experience and align myself in breath to ensure that my decisions are based on variables which actual matter and contribute to physical reality
When and as I see myself wanting to experience something 'positive' after having experienced something 'negative' -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am only taking into consideration limited amount of information as only ‘how I experience myself’ without looking beyond myself and that I am still looking at experiences in separation of myself where I believe a ‘something’ will give me this or that experience, not seeing and realising that I am the one who decided to experience myself negatively within doing one thing and decided to experience myself positively within doing another thing – and then place the responsibility of ‘how I am going to experience myself’ unto other things/beings – abdicating my self-responsibility completely and so I commit myself to investigate my energy attachments and to disregard any mind energy variables within decision making
When and as I see myself wanting to 'take a break' and wanting to 'zone out' from a starting point of "I am unavailable to do anything else" -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am making a decision based on my limited reality/experience as mind and am not taking into consideration that reality does not work according to ‘my rules’ and ‘what I feel like doing / not doing’ and that things require to be done and can happen whether I am up for it or not and so I commit myself to snap out my ‘unavailable’ zone and bring myself here in reality, in breath, in my body
When and as I see myself wanting to experience something positive as a 'quick fix' to charge myself up so I can continue with my day -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is reactive behaviour which will only repeat itself without every changing anything in fact and so I commit myself to investigate the origin/cause of my ‘energy depletion’ which requires a ‘fix’ so that I can correct myself and direct myself within common sense rather than being a slave to / being energy dependent
