The other day while working outside in the nursery I was listening to
some
Life Reviews, one of them being '
Giving up on Myself'. The
interview explores the concept of 'giving up on self' in terms of
'giving yourself up' for something else.
The being describes how we will have resistance doing something which
requires us to for a moment disregard ourselves - ourselves as
self-interest - to bring about a point of change, which is basically
what is happening all around the world: Where 'those who can make a
change don't and where those who want can't'.
I looked at my life and how I used to experience this point of "No, I
can't do something other than for myself, that's just toooo haaard - I
have the right to be comfortable, disregarding myself like that is just
too inconvenient, I'm sorry'.
At
home we
had a dishwasher, and once in a while my mom would ask me, my sister or
my brother to take out the dishes (which were mostly already dry) and
place them in the right spots in the cupboards. Usually my mom would do
this, so only once in a while she would ask us to do this. I remember my
mom would ask me after I had gotten back from school, and 'just wanted
to do nothing but lay in the couch and watch tv'. She's ask me to put
the dishes
away and I'b be like 'Uh - seriously? Why do I have to do this? I had SUCH a rough day - why can't you or someone else do it'.
I mean, it was literally just moving a few object from one point to
another, not even one meter away - and I would be like 'Hmm, no no'. And
sometimes I'd even get away with it and my mom would then do it. I was
completely inconsiderate and lazy. My
mother
would go to work, come home, cook, do cleaning, do our laundry, iron
our clothes -- for most of our lives (for as long as I lived at home) --
and I had the arrogance of protesting when she would ask me to help out
and the arrogance of bitching at her when I wouldn't put away my clean
clothes which she washed and ironed 'like it was no big deal'. Her whole
life revolved around her kids and work and I would barely
hear her complain.
Getting involved in
Desteni and
visiting the Desteni Farm, I learn what a comfortable, secure, isolated
life I had been living which demanded zero consideration or
responsibility. I had everything I needed and so I didn't bother doing
anything. I learnt what it means to live in a group, why it matters to
clean up after yourself and to consider others in your environment --
after all, I wouldn't want to be like my mom doing everyone's 'dirty
jobs'-- and for that to be possible, everyone has to work together and
daily, consistently tend to the chores that need to be done so that it
doesn't accumulate into a massive task. I had lived in such a
comfortable bubble and being faced with Desteni that bubble got popped
-- I had been living a lie, a comfortable one maybe -- but at the
expense of others. Not only did this happen in my home environment at a
micro scale, but also on a macro scale -- where my elitist lifestyle
could only be sustained by beings on the other side of the world
cleaning up the
consequences of the life I lived, while they have to do with barely anything.
I remember being back home after my initial two month visit, and my
parents were flabbergasted at how my sister and me would now
spontaneously help out with the chores at home. I remember the first
thing we did was something simple like helping them get the shopping out
of the car down the street, bring it inside and putting all the stuff
away -- and they were just standing there in the door opening with the
bags in their hands going 'Whhhut?' LOL
I mean, it's such a simple point, a small point of consideration and yet
previously this had seemed to me like this mountainous burden, where
the mere
thought
of doing something like that would make me already tired. On the farm,
there is no space for such an attitude of apathy. You are part of a
group, not only humans but also animals and plants -- and certain things
require to be done in order to function effectively as a group as well
as tending to the animals and plants so we can have a
relationship of harmony. So, common sensically, you being part of that = you help out, everyone does their part.
And I mean -- and I'm sure many people who've visited the farm can agree
-- what we have on the farm and how we live/go about our day is
pretty awesome. Yes, there's work to be done but you end up going through an educational
process
where you learn how to live effectively and can be satisfied that all
points have been taken care/been tended to and that all measures of
prevention have been taken. Previously, I would not have gone there and
for what -- my own self-interest, and the life I didn't want to 'give
up'. But, there was actually nothing to be given up! I was deeply
dissatisfied with my life from a mental well-being perspective and on
top of that was that life contributing to the diminishment of other
people's physical well-being, within living an elitist life that could
only be possible when others are deprived of resources in order to fund
mine.
So what are you really giving up when you make the
decision
to stand for a world that's best for all and where you no longer think
of only yourself = less than nothing! Because it was all a lie, it was
all an illusion. So don't wait for your bubble to be popped -- pop it
yourself, because in the meantime real people are ACTUALLY
suffering and living in unbearable condition which would give ALL to bring about some change in this world (in
comparison of the so called 'suffering' as 'inconvenience' one experience when doing something for something other than just yourself).
Check out the
DIP Lite course to investigate what your bubble consists
of and how you can move yourself past your illusionary bubble of
convenience to actually bring about change in this world.
