Day 241: Enjoyment

I forgive you I have accepted and allowed myself to fear enjoying myself as my expression as who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is not safe to enjoy myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is safe to be in fear, despite the physical experience and evidence that anything done out of fear only creates more fear 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up on enjoying myself as my expression as me - believing and perceiving that there is no space for expression and enjoyment in this world - despite everyone actually wanting to enjoy and express themselves 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over the years have trained myself out of expression and into fear until it manifested as a physical integration 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that it is going to take time to train myself out of fear and into expression 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for not being able to 'snap out' of the fear conditioned experiences in my body - not seeing and realizing that it took time to condition my body to fear and that it takes time to deliberately recondition the body to expression 

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I am going through a learning process specific to my process and location point where I am and have been walking through a lot of points that are specifically challenging to me - where we all have our challenge points and periods, our 'Dark Night of the Soul' 

I commit myself to see and realize that this is not forever and that this too will end 

I commit myself to trust that I learn and grow from these experiences, no matter how painful it may currently seem

I commit myself to walk this phase without judgment