Day 97: Don't you just LOVE Complaining? - Part 2

This blog is related to:
Day 25: Eating Energy 
Day 58: Reasoning as Self-Sabotage 
Day 63: Keeping the Wheels Turning 
Day 77: Confessions of a Child Junkie  
Day 96: Don't you just LOVE Complaining?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain inside my head and be irritated about something or someone -- where I genuinely believe that they are the cause/origin of my experience and me complaining -- and believing that it is justified for me to complain and be irritated/frustrated -- without seeing and realising that the complaining and being irritated/frustrated is about generating an energetic experience which I enjoy and is not about what happened in physical reality as that which I am complaining and being irritated/frustrated about

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for openings as excuses/justifications where I look for something to complain about in order to be able to generate an experience an energetic experience of irritation/frustration within which I allow myself to be entertained and occupied

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into complaining as backchat and an experience of irritation and frustration, where I tell myself that I am doing this 'because of others' -- without seeing and realising the truth of what I am doing as serving self-interest within merely wanting to acquire an energetic experience with which I can entertain myself which has nothing to do about that which I am complaining about and being irritated/frustrated about

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise the self-righteousness of blaming others for what I do in my own space as my mind as being irritated/furstrated and complaining as backchat -- while I am the one who decides whether to or not to participate within this and then blame others for the decisions I've made -- while hiding my actual motive as energy generation and addiction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for what I do as complaining inside my head and generating an experience of irritation and frustration as to not take self-responsibility and investigate/look at the origin of my experience which is myself and not others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to twist and change how I view people wherein I will change my attitude towards them accordingly -- wherein I compromise myself and another as myself for the sake of being able to indulge in complaining/backchat and generate an experience of irritation/frustration


When and as I see myself complaining about something or someone and experiencing/generating frustration and irritation -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am the sole point of responsibility within this equation as I am instigating the complaining and experience of irritation and frustration -- so if there's anything or anyone to complain about, it is me -- as I am the one imposing this experience upon myself and so I commit myself to take responsibility for my experience and thoughts and work through the point within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself looking for openings as things or people I can complain about and generate and experience of irritation and frustration -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am deliberately manipulating/sabotaging myself and my relationship with other things and people in order to be able to sustain a relationship of self-abuse as energy addiction and so I commit myself to stop, breathe, ground myself as my human physical body and bring the point back to myself

When and as I see myself reasoning with myself where I say that what I am doing and experiencing as complaining and irritation/frustration is because of 'others' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am merely making up excuses/justifications as to why I should not look at myself and why I should not change my behaviour and so I commit myself to exactly that which I want to protect which is changing my behaviour as self-interest within stopping energy addiction

When and as I see myself changing/altering my relationship with other beings due to backchat as complaining and experiences of irritation and frustration -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that this is unacceptable and requires to be addressed and so I commit myself to investigate the point of complaining/backchat and irritation/frustration in order to sort myself out and ensure that I do not create/manifest consequence as a result of a lack of consideration on my part which may affect other beings

Related articles

• Day 96: Don't you just LOVE Complaining?
• Day 58: Reasoning as Self-Sabotage
• Character Dimensions - BACKCHAT Dimension (Part 1): DAY 167
• Day 63: Keeping the Wheels Turning
• Day 60: Paranoia
• Day 85: No More Grudges

Day 96: Don't you just LOVE Complaining?

I was observing myself the other day, where I was experiencing myself being very frustrated and irritated about a whole bunch of things where someone would say something or something happened -- and then I would get irritated and complain about it in my head, believing that they/it were genuinely being 'stupid' and that I had every right to complain and be upset about.

Then a bit later, I was about to leave my room and I expected the same thing which I had been complaining about to happen, and as I left my room and entered the kitchen where previously something had happened that had irritated me -- I saw myself being surprised within it not having happened, where I was actually disappointed that it hadn't -- because now I couldn't complain!

The moment I saw it, I went into shame -- because it was actually quite obvious but I hadn't seen it before because of my own self-righteousness. So that was a nice 'Ha!Ha!' in my face -- showing me that I had NO RIGHT to complain, that everything which had happened, only had happened in my head -- and that I like to complain in my head for the sake of complaining -- which is really quite sad.

So this was quite interesting to see that I was looking for things to complain about, just so that I could experience the energetic charge that comes with complaining. So is complaining really valid, or is it just another way to entertain ourselves and keep ourselves from dealing with actual problems in reality which require addressing, where we rather complain about stuff without coming up with actual solutions -- and so really being part of the problem?

This complaining/backchatter is like background music in a movie -- have you ever watched a highly dramatic or exciting action movie -- and for a moment removed the background music from the scene/equation? All of a sudden, the movie is completely different and not that much goes on anymore. It's like the music 'sets the tone' for the scene, placing you in a particular position from which you interpret the movie/scene -- which is exactly what complaining/backchat does: it places you in a position where you look at everything from a singular dimension as complaining -- and miss the complete picture of what is actually going on. What's even worse is that you're looking at it from a dimension that you've imposed upon the scene/your environment -- it's not even really there!

So, when you remove the music from the movie -- everything becomes a lot more calmer all of a sudden -- and all the things that seemed so bad, scary, exciting, romantic become just normal, ordinary. When you remove the backchat/complaining you come to see what is actually going on, and that what you thought was 'a big deal' really isn't that big of a deal or not even a deal at all.

So it's interesting how we manipulate our perception of reality with all this background noise in our head and then believe it to be real -- to the point where we get addicted to it.

Related articles

• Character Dimensions - BACKCHAT Dimension (Part 1): DAY 167
• Thoughts: Pixels of the Screen of the Mind - Part 1: DAY 145
• Walking with Thoughts - Part 1: DAY 143
• Day 63: Keeping the Wheels Turning
• The Mind System's Conscious/Subconscious Mind Relationship - Part 1: DAY 141