Then a bit later, I was about to leave my room and I expected the same thing which I had been complaining about to happen, and as I left my room and entered the kitchen where previously something had happened that had irritated me -- I saw myself being surprised within it not having happened, where I was actually disappointed that it hadn't -- because now I couldn't complain!
The moment I saw it, I went into shame -- because it was actually quite obvious but I hadn't seen it before because of my own self-righteousness. So that was a nice 'Ha!Ha!' in my face -- showing me that I had NO RIGHT to complain, that everything which had happened, only had happened in my head -- and that I like to complain in my head for the sake of complaining -- which is really quite sad.
So this was quite interesting to see that I was looking for things to complain about, just so that I could experience the energetic charge that comes with complaining. So is complaining really valid, or is it just another way to entertain ourselves and keep ourselves from dealing with actual problems in reality which require addressing, where we rather complain about stuff without coming up with actual solutions -- and so really being part of the problem?
This complaining/backchatter is like background music in a movie -- have you ever watched a highly dramatic or exciting action movie -- and for a moment removed the background music from the scene/equation? All of a sudden, the movie is completely different and not that much goes on anymore. It's like the music 'sets the tone' for the scene, placing you in a particular position from which you interpret the movie/scene -- which is exactly what complaining/backchat does: it places you in a position where you look at everything from a singular dimension as complaining -- and miss the complete picture of what is actually going on. What's even worse is that you're looking at it from a dimension that you've imposed upon the scene/your environment -- it's not even really there!
So, when you remove the music from the movie -- everything becomes a lot more calmer all of a sudden -- and all the things that seemed so bad, scary, exciting, romantic become just normal, ordinary. When you remove the backchat/complaining you come to see what is actually going on, and that what you thought was 'a big deal' really isn't that big of a deal or not even a deal at all.
So it's interesting how we manipulate our perception of reality with all this background noise in our head and then believe it to be real -- to the point where we get addicted to it.
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