Day 113: Food & The Religion of Self - Part 1

This blog is a continuation to:

Day 112: Food Preferences - Body or Mind?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that I hate cucumber

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my belief that "I hate cucumber" was justified, because of the repulsion I would experience in my mind, and the repulsion I would experience in my body that wanted to puke out the cucumber

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of likes and dislikes towards food -- but simply accepted that "I like this and that" and "I hate this and that" I thought it to be 'who I am' and part of what 'makes me unique' as a person

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of likes and dislikes towards food -- even when it is clear that this is a very strange phenomenon, seeing that each person in my family has got their different 'likes' and 'dislikes', without this being a shared point -- where two people eating the same food, one can like it and one can dislike it -- but if the food is the same and the person is different, then the point obviously lies in the person, and not in 'reality', as this would be conflicting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the point of food preference for granted, where I believed that if I don't like cucumber now, I am not ever going to like it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that the nature of the problem I experienced with cucumber was a physical point, while all the while it was an emotional point -- where I even at some point when to my doctor to see if there was something in common in the foods I didn't like that stimulated the puke response -- upon which my doctor said no but that I should just avoid those foods if they evoke such a response and laughed at the notion that maybe it was a "psychological" point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge towards cucumber without having a valid reason for it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been convinced of 'my right to judge' within experiencing disgust towards cucumber whenever I would smell it and taste -- where others would tell me to 'just eat it' to see if I would not like it and I didn't, and then used this to 'validate' my belief/opinion/idea/judgment about cucumber

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to find out/investigate where the intense experience/emotion of disgust comes from and thought it to be normal to have such extreme emotional experience towards something as ordinary as cucumber

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that food likes and dislikes must be created at some point and thus to trace back this experience -- where instead I waited for years and years before I asked the question, and after I asked it: I got an immediate answer