Day 243: Ruthless

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the mind is ruthless

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the mind is ruthless in its constant bombardment towards giving up and giving in

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the ruthless nature of the mind in setting oneself up to give up, give in through a myriad of reasons, excuses and justifications

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have been ruthless in my acceptance and allowance of the mind - accepting and allowing for much destruction in denying and hiding from what is here - where there is a dark side that ‘doesn’t care’, that doesn’t care who gets hurt, who gets fucked up as long as I can hold on to my self-interest and do not want to budge from this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about myself 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend to care about myself but in the dark corners of my mind plan my own demise

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have de-manned myself and have become demonic 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that there is a gift within this - as this nature indicates and shows that Ruthlessness has been lived, but has not been lived in a supportive and constructive manner - but has been lived regardless and can be redirected and re-focussed

I commit myself to live ruthlessness in a constructive manner, in favour of life instead of its destruction

I commit myself to turn my weakness into my strength

I commit myself to daily find moments to be ruthless with myself within self-care - real self-care