I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to
as a kid when listening to the stories about ticks, tick bite fever and it
killing people – have accepted and allowed these stories to imprint ‘fear of
ticks’ as ‘fear of death’ within me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
as a kid when hearing stories about ticks, tick bite fever and death – have responded
to this within myself from a starting point of fear – where I within the moment
of hearing the stories allow myself to become completely irrational and be
possessed by this feeling of petrification of ‘what if this happens to me ‘, and
created a fear relationship with ticks instead of investigating the tick
phenomena and taking the practical steps / pre-cautions when necessary to
minimize the potential of being bitten by ticks – and thus I forgive myself
that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created an emotional
relationship as fear towards ticks where whenever I was in long grass would
pre-occupy my mind with ‘oh no what if there are ticks here’ and ‘I hope I don’t
get bitten’ and ‘Eeek! What was that itchy sensation I just felt on my leg!” –
where I allowed fear to possess me within every moment of my participation with
nature instead of me being here, having taking the precautions and from there
simply let go of the tick point – as I will either get bitten or not get bitten
and being in my mind thinking, worrying and generating this fear experience
will not make a damn difference to the outcome
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to see and realise – that before I ever heard of the tick stories I was fine
playing and having fun in the grass – whereas when had been fed information
about ticks (which when looking at it now was probably inaccurate / extremely exaggerated
for the sake of making it sound more ‘horrific’ than it really is) this
information now dominated my mind and changed my whole experience of being in
grass/nature – where all I could think about was ticks – and thus I forgive
myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that this ‘new
information’ should in no way alter/change my behaviour/approach/expression
within nature – as the same “threat” existed before, but because I was not
aware of it, I did not allow it to limit my expression – whereas now I was ‘aware’
of the threat and allowed this to possess me as knowledge and information where
I altered my behaviour and approach to being within nature because of this one
point of ‘possibility’ – without seeing and realising that before I ever knew
about ticks, the possibilities as statistical probabilities of me getting
bitten by a tick were just the same – and so there’s really no reason why I
should now be around nature with a constant cloud of fear within my head, as
this will in no way change the possibility of me getting bitten by a tick or
not
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
have believed that my ‘fear of ticks’ was ‘keeping me safe from ticks’ – where I
believed that if I am possessed/pre-occupied with the fear of getting bitten by
a tick I will be more alert and will be able to keep ticks off me – where I traded
‘me being here as breath in every moment, trusting that I will deal with ticks
if and when I have to and having an enjoyable time in nature’ with ‘me living
in my head as fear of ticks as fear of death hoping religiously and faithfully
that if I keep fearing maybe the ticks won’t get to me while having no fun at
all in nature’ -- wherein the latter I allow myself to abdicate all
self-responsibility as I simply ‘hope’ that it won’t happen
What’s interesting with being in the hospital – was that the
exact same thing happened, where the doctor was now feeding me ‘horror stories’
of people dying/being badly affected by tick bite fever – and my mind going into that same fear frequency as it did when I
was a kid, where I allowed fear to override all common sense and was willing to
do anything to not make the horror story happen to me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
when the doctor told me that he was going to keep me in the hospital for a few
days because of those few rare cases where people die/get badly affected – have
gone into completely fear mode, allowing fear to override all common sense and
for a moment just be paralyzed and willing to comply with anything as long as
it would mean that I’d be safe from the horror stories
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
trust doctors blindly, because of the belief that ‘they are here to help people’
– without taking into consideration the Money Game which is currently behind every
doctors practice – where, if I had been here as breath it would have been
obvious to see that through his words he was scaring me into being admitted to
the hospital, as this would give the hospital/him income
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself
to unconditionally walk through an event – no matter what the outcome, within
the realisation that having ideas/back chat about the event is not going to
change/alter the outcome anyway – so why bother making the walk unpleasant by
creating an inner hell about it, which is totally unnecessary
1 comment:
I'm walking this point too. Cool! Thanks, Leila.
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