Friday, 31 August 2012

Day 43: Can't Stand the Sight of Blood

This is a continuation to Day 42: Why?
 
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the experience of powerlessness and victimization that would wash over me when getting physically hurt, was simply a 'part of me' and 'who I am' -- without ever questioning this experience or its origin

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that this experience wasn't just 'a part of me' or a part of 'who I am' as this experience wasn't always a part of me -- but only emerged at a certain point within my life -- and within that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that this experience was created and emerged from and as a memory imprint -- where something happened to me within my childhood which I haven't dealt with -- whereby this experience now integrated within and as me, and kept on 'popping up' throughout my life with the right triggers, where each time when the experience emerged during an event and I did not question it / did not do anything about it -- it only integrated and penetrated deeper into my being to a point where I believed  this experience 'to be me' and forgot all about the initial memory from which the experience was created

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a child when another kid shoved me to the ground and I hit the hard ground with my knees, have taken the picture presentation of the blood seeping into my pants and the wetness I felt as 'something bad' and 'something which shouldn't happen' -- where I didn't cry when the actual physical pain rushed through my body of hitting the ground, but cried in reaction to the picture I was seeing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined 'blood' within a negative energy connotation/charge within myself -- whereby each time I see the picture presentation of blood, I see it as bad -- without taking into consideration the context within which the blood is present

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined 'blood stains' within a negative energy charge/connotation within myself -- whereby each time I see a blood stain I go into a negative energy-based experience inside myself  -- connected to all the memories wherein I was brought into contact with 'bood stains' -- which was primarily movies and other types of media on tv -- where blood was always displayed within the context of violence or macabre atmosphere -- whereby I accepted and allowed myself to define blood within the limited context and association of 'violence' and 'death'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I as a child hit the ground and hurt my knee and saw blood seeping into my pants from my wound -- have gone into a panic mode within connecting the picture presentation of the blood and the stain to all the pictures I had seen on tv which were within the context of violence/death -- whereby I created the connection that 'violence had been done unto me' and that 'something was wrong' / 'I may die' within seeing blood run out of me body because of the limited context I had been educated on blood where I had only been familiarized with blood within the context of violence/macabre through television

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'laugh away' the notion that we can be brainwashed by tv, within 'not me, I don't get brainwashed by tv -- other people maybe sure, but not me' -- without seeing and realising that all I have ever known about myself as 'who I' apparently 'am' -- is the direct result/outcome of brainwashing through time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created an idea / belief about blood -- where blood can only ever be 'something bad' without ever questioning this belief and finding out what blood is 'within the bigger picture'

When and as I see myself experiencing a particular feeling/emotion/experience which I did not direct within that moment -- and believe this experience of energy as feelings/emotions to be real as 'who I am' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and  realise that this experience is not just 'who I am' but a programmed response pattern which will emerge when the right triggers are in place, and so I stop and bring myself here as the physical within breath and commit myself to investigate the origin of the emotion/feeling pattern I engaged in and unravel it / disengage it within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself reacting to the picture presentation or the notion of 'blood' within a negative energy experience of 'this is bad' and/or 'something's wrong' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am merely accessing what had been put into me within watching/viewing particular scenes on tv where the presence of 'blood' was always a 'bad omen' -- whereby I copied and integrated this connotation/association within and as me so that when was faced with 'blood' within my own reality -- that was the connotation/association I would access within myself and upload throughout my human physical body

I commit myself to the re-evaluation of how television currently is operated and what gets broadcasted -- so that we do not educate/brainwash our children unintentionally with images and ideas about concepts/manifestations such as blood within a context of fear -- and so I commit myself to the re-establishment of television as a source of education as common sense to assist and support all within developing practical common sense skills within oneself

When and as I see myself ridiculing the notion of me being 'brainwashed' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that we are all the result of brainwashing as education from parents, teachers, television and other media -- and within that I move myself to take self-responsibility to identify all the ways that I have been brainwashed into patterns which are not conductive to what is Best for All -- and commit myself to replace those patterns with ones which are in Support of All Life

When and as I see myself accessing the idea that 'blood is bad' / 'blood means something's wrong with me' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I have created this idea as an additional layer/dimension which I imposed upon the concept/manifestation of blood through memories/brainwashing -- and so I remove myself from participating within this idea as I see and realise that this does not form part of the actually reality of blood -- and allow myself to take into consideration the 'bigger picture' -- whereby blood is simply a medium our bodies and other bodies have adopted as a means to transport nutrients/resources throughout our human physical body, whereby if we hurt our human physical bodies within force contact, or contact with sharp objects -- we may damage our transport system as the arteries and veins through which the blood is transported within our bodies, whereby a 'leak' forms, just  as when you damage a water-pipe, where for a moment some of these resources as blood may seep/leak out of the body until the hole/damage has been 'patched up'. And as such, within the context of movies, where people are violently killed and blood is sprayed all over the place -- it is simply the manifested consequence of the body having been damaged whereby openings/leaks have been created within one's inner resource transport system, whereby these resources as blood leak/spray all over the place -- and thus the primary point of blood is not 'bad' or 'wrong' or 'death' -- but in fact a medium of supporting Life within facilitating the distribution of resources within and as the body
  
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