Saturday, 23 June 2012

Day 19 – Power-less – Anger and Me – Part 4


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined ‘Anger’ as ‘Power’ and ‘dominance/superiority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have connected the experience of “anger” with power due to the high energy levels surging through the body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have connected the experience of high energy levels within the body as “power” – instead of seeing and realising that this is not real power as it is merely an indication that the mind has taken over completely -- and thus actually quite the opposite, as I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to energy with no directive principle whatsoever

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that being and becoming angry – is in fact the very statement of Powerlessness, Submission and Inferiority

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that within me becoming / being angry at something / someone – I am in fact stating and showing that I have accepted and allowed myself to place myself as ‘less than’ and ‘inferior’ to the point I am angry at – where I try and compensate/make up for what I experience within myself by going into the opposite polarity as anger – where I will allow myself to for a moment experience ‘power’ and being ‘more than’ – which ends up only deepening and further ingraining feelings if powerlessness and inferiority

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that when I burst out in anger and feel powerful – that this is only so because I within that moment felt pushed within the deepest corner of feelings of being ‘less than’ and ‘inferiority’ – and where I then bounced all the way to the opposite polarity of being angry/enraged within the momentary experience of “no, I don’t want this anymore – I’ve had enough!!”  -- but where I project this statement/experience to the outside world / external factors – as if it is the outside world / others who are to blame for my experience – while in fact I should be telling myself STOP! And ENOUGH! – as I am the creator of my own inner hell

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I am the creator of my own inner hell – and that if I do not like this experience, then there is no point getting angry at others / other things within my world as it is no way related to them / those points – but what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me as my own created, self-imposed inner hell

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that when I react within anger towards something or someone  -- such as for example the perception that my horse is pushing me around – that this is in fact me reacting to me allowing myself to be pushed around by myself as the mind as self-limitation and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exert / take out my anger at myself towards my horse within the belief that it is the horse ‘pushing me around’ while it me accepting and allowing myself to be pushed around by my mind within myself – but where I instead place the point of responsibility within/upon the horse where I will demand the horse to change and not me as I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the point at which I am being angry at not taking responsibility for within an attempt to maintain my self-definition as personality to not have to change

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise – that whenever I react within anger towards something or someone – it is always ME – and never the other and that this is a sign that I must take SELF-Responsibility for myself within myself

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that if I react within anger towards something/someone I am in fact stating that I am ‘less than’ and ‘inferior’ to the point which I am angry at – where I get angry because I have already made the decision within myself through acceptance and allowance that I cannot change this point and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take responsibility for and within myself as self-imposed limitation and trust that I can change -- and realise and apply the realisation that I do not have to remain within my self-imposed limitation and feelings of inferiority

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others / points / factors outside of myself for how I experience myself – instead of seeing and realising that I am the creator of my own experience and that I do not have to accept and allow this bullshit inside myself

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that reacting in anger is in fact a defense mechanism of and as the mind to protect itself as self-imposed limitation as personality as who I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as – where when I get reminded of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined/limited as – I get angry and blame others/the world instead of seeing and realising that it is I, ME who created this idea/belief/definition/personality of myself and that there is no reason / that I have no right to become angry but at myself as I placed myself in this position through acceptance and allowance

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that bouncing from one polarity to another as ‘inferiority’/’powerlessness’ to ‘anger’/’power’  -- is not a solution but only an artificial form of “change” where I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I experience ‘something else’ that this means that I have ‘changed’ – while all I am doing is flipping the coin and still participate within the exact same construct/system

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that if I want to change this pattern/construct it is a matter of going beyond it – erasing it – and rescripting myself completely and live according to this new script within the context of what is Best for All to have Actual Change manifested – and not to simply loop from one polarity to another as this only further deepens and ingrains the pattern with every loop

When and as I see myself going into a reaction of anger – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise the polarity construct I am participating within and that it has no benefit/use to continue this participation – So instead I stop, take a deep breath and bring the point back to myself and move myself to identify the origin of the pattern and apply Self Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements to correct the point within myself

When and as I see myself going into a reaction of anger and feeling “powerful” – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am participating within a mindfuck and that I am actually experiencing myself as ‘powerless’ – and thus I move and direct myself to identify where within myself and my world I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as powerless and move through the appropriate Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective statements in order to release myself from this self-limitation – and within that – I commit myself to identify and trace back all my anger points to all the various points/aspects within myself which I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from – so that I can embrace myself as these points and direct them as myself, take responsibility and release myself from this self-imposed limitations as personality

When and as I see myself accessing back chat about another / points within my world – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this back chat is only revealing my relationship with myself and where I still require to give attention to changing / transforming my self-relationship in alignment with what is Best for All – and within this I commit myself to stop all back chat as this is deliberate abuse as abdication of self-responsibility within the defense of personality -- and to bring all back chat points back to myself, sort them out through Self-Forgiveness , Self Corrective Statements and Actions – so there may be no more

When and as I see myself accessing energy as anger – I stop and I breathe – I do not accept and allow myself to further participate within this energy and/or act upon this energy as this is self-deception as the ego trying to divert attention from itself and its limited design – and thus I look at where and how I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself within self-limitation and move myself to correct this point within myself instead of throwing a tantrum lol
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