Thursday, 14 June 2012

Day 14 - Trusting Fear - Anxiety and Me - Part 4



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find a sense of comfort and familiarity within fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have connected 'fear' with 'comfort' and 'familiarity'

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that this sense of comfort is not real -- as it is only the result of habitual conditioning of experiencing energy as fear where I have gotten used to experiencing fear and accepted it to be a part of 'Who I Am' and what defines me -- and where I thus find comfort within experiencing a part of 'me'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of control within experiencing fear and anxiety within having something which is 'familiar' and 'certain' to be right by my side when in situations of uncertainty

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the belief that fear helps me -- where in the past I faced points within fear and came out just fine, and where I had accredited this outcome of being fine / it wasn't that big of a deal, to the energetic experience of fear instead of accrediting it to myself and how I directed myself within the particular situation that I found myself in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the belief that fear helps me to drive myself and prepare myself for situations -- where I end up being able to deal with a situation quite well and then accredit this outcome to the energetic experience of fear -- instead of seeing and realising that this was actually the result brought about by my own work through preparation and consistency and not anything to do with the energetic experience inside myself -- as I would have been able to achieve the same result with the same actions but without the energetic fear experience being present

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that fear in essence has no power whatsoever in terms of providing control, preparation and safety --- as fear can only do one thing which is feeding itself and had no practical purpose whatsoever for the being experiencing it -- it's basically a parasite

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have placed my trust outside of myself where 'it must have been something else' in terms of why something worked out for myself instead of seeing and realising that I had created this outcome for myself through my actions as preparation and that I should thus give myself credit and allow myself to trust myself instead of some energetic experience as fear which happened to also be there while I was walking through the point, but is not the reason why things worked out for myself -- and within that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that if fear helps me and thus I should listen to my fear and basically shut down and not do anything -- that I would not have gotten anywhere at all, only showing how completely useless fear is

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not worthy of trusting myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot be trusted by default

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect myself to make mistakes

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect failing at something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect not being able to do something -- at least not on my own

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to gift myself trust

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that there is nothing "wrong" or "bad" about mistakes -- it only means that I missed a point and where a learning opportunity emerges to not miss the same point again -- and is thus an opportunity to expand and grow within myself

When and as I find myself finding comfort within fear and anxiety -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I have made this connection within myself through habitual conditioning and that this relationship between the two points is not real in fact: I created it

When and as I find myself placing my trust in fear to tell me what to do -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that fear can only feed fear and has no practical use whatsoever and does not have my best interest at heart -- instead I place my trust within myself and trust that I can direct myself appropriately within any given situation within the context of what needs to be done

When and as I see myself not feeling worthy of trusting myself -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that this thinking pattern emerged from my past within my childhood family environment and educational upbringing and does in no way have to dictate how I live my life -- instead I allow myself to trust myself and commit myself to unraveling and releasing myself from my past so that my past no longer has the power to dictate my future

When and as I find myself givin credit to any emotion/feeling or thought for the outcome of a particular situation -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that emotions, feelings and thoughts have no such power as they are confined to my head only and that any physical action which as a particular outcome as result -- is due to that physical action -- and that the same outcome could have been achieved without the emotions, feelings or thoughts but NOT without the actual  physical actions which led to the particular outcome/result. Within that I also see and realise that emotions, feelings and thoughts only have the power I give to them and that it is up to me to act upon them or not -- and that without me acting upon them or feeding them, they are not of any significance as they can be stopped at any given moment without it ceasing my existence lol
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