Sunday, 17 June 2012

Day 16: Anger and Me - Introduction

I've known that anger has been an issue in my life, but I have brushed it away, saying to myself "But I am not an angry person! Right?" and where I saw it as "not that important" of an issue to deal with, as I don't experience it as a constant thing bugging me -- but which in certain moments will completely take over to extreme levels - which is not cool.

I can definitely see a lot of anger points in my childhood, and I can clearly see myself as having been an angry child -- where my whole face would become all red, except for my nostrils turning all white and just feeling so furious, where if I could have exploded into millions of pieces, I would have. But then later as I grew up and started to keep my emotions and feelings more to myself I stopped seeing myself as "an angry person" but it's all still buried deep down inside there.

My dad was also a very angry person when I grew up and I've come to deny "anger" within me as a point of separation with my dad -- where I did not want to become anything like him or be associated in any way whatsoever with him -- yet here I am, and I am angry.

So in my next few blogs I will be taking a closer look at my Relationship with Anger and how accepting anger to exist within and as me affected my life and is still affecting my life -- and walking the process of self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements to ensure that I no longer abuse myself and others with this point of anger -- but instead transform it into a self-driven passion to change myself and the world around me in a way that is Best for All.

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