Monday, 27 August 2012

Day 41: What if I become Useless?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have gone into the fear of ‘what if I become useless’ within being sick

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear becoming useless as a consequence of disease/sickness – whereby I can no longer function the way I used to and be less functional/productive within my contribution

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being less productive/functional within contributing to this world in terms of ‘work’ and ‘labour’ within being sick – as I fear that if I am unable to be productive that I will be rejected/spat out now that all my usefulness as a productive unit has been diminished to zero and be left to fend for myself ‘outside of the system’ with no support

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have connected ‘being sick’ to ‘not being able to contribute in productive terms’ and connected ‘not being able to contribute in productive terms’ to ‘useless’ and ‘uselessness’ to inevitable rejection

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise how this fear gets perpetuated through our established economic system where one has to ‘earn’ their living where one can only ‘earn’ their living through contributing in terms of ‘labour’ or ‘work’ – where if one is unable to contribute due to physical limitations or levels of lack of job positions one is screwed as the system will not support someone who does not support the money system – and where there are always some definitively screwed as the system does not allow for 100% level of employment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have bought into the fear of ‘what if I become useless, I will be rejected by the system’ where I will make sure that I can remain productive from the starting point of fear – without for a moment going ‘Hey wait a minute, this design of our system is completely fucked up and needs to be changed’ and within that commit myself to changing the system instead of simply allowing myself to be driven by fear and not come up with an actual solution, where I will attempt to make sure that ‘I am alright’ while I know that this is not possible for everyone due to our acceptance and allowance of the current established system of inequality

When and as I see myself going into the fear of ‘oh shit, what if I become useless within being sick’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am reacting within a survival based program designed to do whatever it takes to ‘keep my spot in the system’ where my own fear of survival will withhold me from questioning the system – where I will rather try and ‘keep up’ with the system as an irrational fear based response rather then seeing/realising that our system is fucked up and taking it up on myself to change the system so no-one has to live in fear of their own survival. Within that I let go of my connection/association of ‘being sick’ to ‘not being able to contribute as a productive unit’ and the connection between ‘not being able to contribute as a productive unit’ to ‘ultimate rejection’ – as I see and realise that such automated chain-fear-response is what keeps me in place as a Money Producing Character in this world who will never question the system because she’s too busy worrying/fearing about her own survival. And within this letting go of these associations/connections I allow myself to see the situation for what it is as the design of a dysfunctional system which is not Best for All and as such requires to be Changed

I commit myself to show that our current system does not support all Life Unconditionally, and that our system only values Life in so far that it can be used within the Money Creation/Accumulation Process where one will be spat out by the system if one’s ‘factors of production’ are depleted – as a used battery being thrown away – where our current economic system support and perpetuates fear of survival in order to keep everyone too busy in their minds worrying about themselves so that they will miss the bigger picture and not consider everyone equally – as one might be able to survive and experience ‘relief’ within having escaped the clutches of survival without support – while being completely oblivious to those who weren’t as fortunate

As such I commit myself to the establishment of a World Economic System of Support where Life is supported unconditionally for the sake of Life and where no-one has to fear for their survival in the case of temporary or permanent physical dysfunction which may limit one’s productive abilities – as this system as the Equal Money System does not place one in a position of dependency in relation to one’s “factors of production” but cares about what is Best for All and Loving thy neighbour as thyself and so no man will be left behind

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