Saturday, 25 August 2012

Day 39: What if something’s Wrong with Me?

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when noticing that my body is showing me signs of possible illness, go “Oh No! What if something’s wrong with me” inside myself – within the starting point of fear as fear of death

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when noticing my body showing signs of illness, freak out and within my head look at all the possible disease/illnesses I may have as all the various different illnesses/diseases I know about
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within seeing that I might be sick, immediately connect and jump from ‘being sick’ to ‘DEATH’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attached a negative energy charge as emotion as fear to the point of ‘illness’ – whereby I will go and immediately expect the worst

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created an idea about what it means to be ‘sick’ where I have accepted and allowed myself to have created an association with the word ‘sickness’ and ‘something’s wrong with me’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within seeing my body showing me that it is busy working through something, go into fear of ‘What if something’s wrong with me’ – and within that moment/thought statement place myself in a position of separation towards myself as the physical – within and as the belief that “if something’s wrong with my body I am fucked because I have no influence/reach there”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being unable to ‘fix’ my body

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my body slowly deteriorating in pain without me being able to do anything about it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the moment of seeing that my body is working through something, go “I must find out what this is” within a starting point of fear – where I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I can put a label/name on what it is that is going on – that I will somehow have a better “grip” on things / have some form of “control

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that “finding out what it is” as back chat is in fact a statement of separation, as I not for one moment considered to slow down and breathe, be here as my human physical body and see what’s going in – but instead will go to external sources such as internet/books to find ‘clues’ on what it is that is going on inside my body and within reading symptoms/possible disease – go into more fears as ‘What if it’s this?’, ‘What if it’s that one?’, ‘OH no, not that one please, that one’s lethal!!’ – lol – and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to set myself up within a rollercoaster ride of fear and accumulate more fear within wanting to ‘find out’ what I have to gain a sense of control – instead of seeing and realising that ‘what I have’ is right here as myself – and that I can simply observe myself and how my body moves within working through whatever it is working through – and that if the signals do not subside by themselves within a relative short period of time, I can direct myself towards a doctor and ask for additional support while my body requires it

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that being in fear in relation to the possibility of being sick does not serve me – as all I am doing is giving and sending my body signals that ‘SOMETHING’s WRONG’ – whereby my body will start to adapt this signal as ‘status quo’ and move/change itself to match the signal of ‘SOMETHING’s WRONG’ – and so through my fear as thoughts, make myself sick and compromise my body

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the best thing I can do for my body when seeing / noticing that it is working through something – is to be here unconditionally within and as Breath within self-awareness as my human physical body – because when I am here as Breath, I am best up to date on my body’s process and how it is dealing with the particular point, and at the same time, through not being occupied within my mind – allow my body the space and time to process, as it is not being bombarded and distracted by thoughts as fear


When and as I see myself going “Oh no! What if something’s wrong with me” within seeing that my body is working through something – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that participating in fear creates only more fear and keeps me from practically being here, as my human physical body – as within entertaining myself with thought and fear I enter an alternate dimension within my mind which has no relation to what it is that my human physical body is experiencing – and as such I can completely dismiss/disregard any of the thought/emotion information as it is unreliable
Within that I commit myself to be here for myself as my human physical body and to net get carried away by fear upon seeing that my body may possibly be sick

When and as I see myself racing inside my head as all the thoughts of ‘what possible diseases I could have’ and accumulate more fear in relation to what my body is showing me – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that racing inside my head and accumulating fear is in no way whatsoever supporting my body within working through whatever it is working through
And so I commit myself to be Here within and as Breath when I see that I am entering a fear state – as I see and realise that the only way I can be of assistance of myself is if I am here as my human physical body and assist where I can

When and as I see myself jumping from one point to another as ‘sickness’ to ‘death’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I as my mind is going into overdrive where I am scaring myself to death and accumulate a self-fulfilling prophecy – as within being in fear I am not allowing myself to be here and make common sense decisions – and so within being in fear put my life at risk and as such participating in ‘fear’ is a very reckless thing to do and doesn’t assist self in any way whatsoever in relation to the point which is being faced
Within that I commit myself to investigate the fears and apply Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements to release myself from these connections

When and as I see myself going into a negative energy charge as ‘fear’ in relation to seeing my body giving signs that it is working through something – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that any emotion/feeling/though about seeing what my body is doing is ‘making it something more than it is’ – and is in fact a form of hallucination wherein I am no longer able to trust myself as I am distorting the situation through my fears/beliefs/thoughts into something which it is not – and as such I cannot be trusted to make decision as I have biased myself
Within that I commit myself to identify all the biases I have created about seeing my body work through something so I can develop a relationship of self-trust and be in touch with Reality instead of a self-made Illusion up in my head

When and as I see myself going into thoughts such as “What if something’s wrong with me” within seeing my body work through things – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that there is no point speculating about what is going on inside me, and that all I can do is be Here as my Physical Body so I am in the best position to be aware of ‘what is going on’ and whether or not I require to take any action at any point
Within that I commit myself to be Here as Breath as the only point where I can be the directive principle

When and as I see myself entertaining myself with the belief that ‘I am powerless in the face of my body’ -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I AM my BODY and as such I cannot be powerless – we’ve just never been taught and assisted into realising that we are our bodies and so have been taught the practical skills with which one can assist and support self as the body as all the attention has always been on the Mind only
Within that I commit myself to be Here within and as Breath as my Human Physical Body and develop an actual relationship with and as my human physical body for the first time and find out what it means to be here in this Physical Reality for Real

When and as I see myself thinking “I must find out what this is” within an energetic charge of fear in relation to seeing that my body is working through something – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that me wanting to find out what is going on inside my body is not from a starting point of self-assistance and self-support in relation to myself as my body – but from the starting point of ‘easing my mind’ and as such there was not one iota of real consideration involved in relation to the well being of my human physical body – and so, within those moments, I stop myself, breathe – be here as my human physical body and re-asses the situation and commit myself to put my body FIRST through being HERE

When and as I see myself thinking ‘SOMETHING’s WRONG’ within an emotional charge of fear – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise I am in fact creating my fear through telling my body that something is wrong and within that actually ask my body to sabotage itself and align itself to the message I am sending – and within that I commit myself to investigate the nature of the signals I send to my body within being in the Mind and to stop all messages which are not Best for All (which is any message coming from the mind) and thus commit myself to be Here as my Human Physical Body as Real Attention and Actual Care as the Best Message I can send to my body as myself


Enhanced by Zemanta
Post a Comment