Monday, 10 December 2012

Day 136: Walking Back in Time

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 130: Holding Myself Back
Day 131: Timidity
Day 132: How we Bring Personality Traits into Being
Day 133: Managing vs. Correcting My Inner Reality
Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
Day 135: Stopping the Pattern

When and as I see myself access the belief that energy is ‘more than’ and ‘bigger than’ me when faced with energy within myself and another as myself – where I believe that I cannot handle/stand in the face of energy – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from energy, where I/we are in fact the creators and generators of the very energy we submit to and so I commit myself to take self-responsibility within the realization that this energy as for instance fear and anxiety is me and direct the energy as myself and ground myself within and as my human physical body

When and as I see myself access the belief that I do not have the power to direct a ‘force’ such as energy and that my only two options are to either submit within going with it or manage my movement in a way to ‘avoid’ it – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am reacting to energy through memory within not having had the proper tools and understanding regarding how energy works – and that I now do I have the tools and understanding and thus have no reason not to direct myself as the energy within and as me or direct myself effectively when facing another possessed by energy and so I commit myself to stop, breathe – let go of the automated pattern, ground myself within and as my human physical body and assess the information not through interpretation/reaction but common sense evaluation

When and as I see myself access the belief that I am ‘less than’ and ‘smaller than’ energy within myself and others – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that energy existent within me can only be here when I am here, and thus energy is an extension/creation/generation of myself – where I can only be ‘less than’ if I deny self-responsibility within being the creator of the energy/friction as a statement of separation and so I commit myself to embrace self-responsibility within the realisation that this energy is in fact me through my acceptance, allowance and participation within it and disband my participation within energy within myself through Breathing here

When and as I see myself access the belief that I am ‘less than’ and ‘smaller than’ energy within myself and others – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I can only be less than if I do not accept and allow myself to stand equal and one to the energy as myself and the energy within others as myself as they are all the same in nature and so I commit myself to investigate how I have come to separate myself from my own energy experiences and those within others as a form of self-education to gain greater insight into myself and how I create experiences for myself so that I can reverse the extent of separation within specificity

When and as I see myself react to friction/conflict or the possibility to friction/conflict within generating fear and anxiety and wanting to avoid the situation at all cost – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am playing out a programmed response pattern based on the past as memories where I scripted this pattern as a coping mechanism to “deal” with conflict/friction within my reality within not effectively understanding the nature of reality and who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, as energy – where even though I know have understanding of how energy / human behaviour operates – I still fall back on my base programming as ‘react within fear and anxiety – avoid situation at all cost’ as this is the pattern I have accepted and allowed myself to live for the majority of my life and has been vastly ingrained within and as myself through accumulation within continuous participation and repetition – and so I see and realise that I have spent a lot of time and energy integrating this pattern within myself to the extent that the experience/reaction manifests in less than a split of a second and totally becomes me – where the domino-reaction is taking place so fast that the moment I start perceiving conflict/friction I am already at the end of the domino-line where my entire physique has already integrated fear and anxiety and where I am ready to ‘go’ and avoid and so I see and realise that it will take equal time and effort to disintegrate this automated pattern within and as me and so I commit myself to grant myself the patience to relieve myself of this pattern of limitation within walking through the reaction pattern over and over and correction myself over and over until it is done – as well as committing myself to slow down and stick to breath to effectively catch the pattern in all its various stages and each time ‘catch it’ earlier and earlier so that I do not have to correct myself by the time the pattern has already manifested within and as me, but that I can stop/correct myself within the very moment of receiving the input/trigger and to simply ‘not go there’ and remain here within as my human physical body, within and as Breath
 
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