Part of the treatment is me jabbing a 18 gauge needle into his buttocks.
I really hate doing this.
If I know I will have to be stabbing/jabbing him in the morning then that’s the thought I go to sleep with and in the morning I wake up, that’s the thought I wake up with: “Oh no I have to jab him with the needle today”.
When the moment comes that I have to jab the needle into his butt I start to panic a bit and HOPE that the needle goes through his bum from the first go. Depending on how Charlie’s butt is doing that day and what spot I poke him it will be either hard or very hard lol.
When I jab him I go will full force, almost projecting the needle/syringe to go completely through his bum so to speak. But then sometimes in the moment as my arm is coming down towards his hum and the needle is approaching my fear takes over and I image the needle not going through and kind of just ‘hitting the surface’ as you would when for instance trying to poke a stone with a needle.
In that singular moment, a fraction of a second – my muscles weaken, my arm slows down and the needle doesn’t go through. It’s a very horrible feeling to stand there with the needle just being on top of his skin, no penetration whatsoever, seeing his entire body flinching. But it is this exact fear of this scenario happening that caused the very event to happen!
In that singular moment, a fraction of a second – my muscles weaken, my arm slows down and the needle doesn’t go through. It’s a very horrible feeling to stand there with the needle just being on top of his skin, no penetration whatsoever, seeing his entire body flinching. But it is this exact fear of this scenario happening that caused the very event to happen!
So now before I jab – I breathe – direct – jab. If the jab doesn’t go through immediately it simply indicates I have to go ‘harder’ because he is having one of those days where his muscle is all tensed up. I do not take it personal, just breathe again and jab harder.
So this shows how when you fear something – you open the door within your reality for it to happen. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It’s funny how we still gives value to fear as if it is valid – no seeing and realising that by acknowledging a fear as being ‘real’ and a ‘valid point of reference’ – you are allowing, no you are CREATING this type of shit to happen in your world, and then there’s only yourself to blame.
It’s funny how we still gives value to fear as if it is valid – no seeing and realising that by acknowledging a fear as being ‘real’ and a ‘valid point of reference’ – you are allowing, no you are CREATING this type of shit to happen in your world, and then there’s only yourself to blame.
Taking control of your life by eliminating useless points such as fear is part if the Desteni I Process self-development tools.
4 comments:
Wow, cool Leila! I have a similar reaction when I have to cut sookie's fingernails.
Thanks for sharing Leila. Enjoy reading about your Practical realizations. How is Charlie doing now?
You people at Desteni have never lived with any real suffering or lifelong problems that this world has to offer, even for those who are not immediately starving. 'Its funny how we give fear power' Lolololol sure when your nice and safe in the Desteni bubble it's easy to look and laugh. Fear is real when you have a gun to your head, when someone harms you physically and you have to see that person again in the future or when your homeless trying to live in this world. Maybe when there is enough retaliation and bloodshed in this world or from people who really suffer or have to live in fear, people will 'wake up' and understand what's happening.
Or at a minimum have your 'dimensions' not intervene or prevent those who suffer from killing or removing themselves.
MJ Jj, In this blog, I take on a specific dimension of fear within a specific context. Within this example, if the fear had not been present – what was feared would not have happened as the fear was the direct causal point. This shows, how we deal ourselves ‘bad situation’ simply through our participation in fear.
The examples you provide in your comment, are situated in a different context. There, whether you are fearful or not – if you live with someone who’s out to abuse you/physically harm you – it’s going to happen whether you fear it or not – (if you’re strictly looking at this one singular dimension).
Here still, one can look at how one is allowing fear to influence self within such an unfortunate situation; as your participation in fear may still create a skewed perception, or create a level of paranoia where besides already being in a shitty situation, you add more shit for yourself through continually being tensed and stressed.
From that perspective, it is still very useful to eliminate fear – even though it might not change the physical situation you find yourself within, it will remove the mental pressure that amplifies your precarious situation. With this layer removed, you can even surprise yourself with finding ways out of your situation that you hadn’t considered before, or find ways to minimize your grievances as your previous pre-occupation with fear and anxiety would have kept your perspectives locked into that singular dimension, leaving you blind to alternatives.
I have been in situations where I was physically harmed – repeatedly. I get the amount of fear and petrification that one can experience within this. You say “Fear is real when you have a gun to your head, when someone harms you physically and you have to see that person again in the future or when your homeless trying to live in this world.” Your issue is not with fear – fear can be removed. Fear is not real. What is real, is the physical situation you are faced with – the gun to your head, the prospect of physical harm, not living life but surviving within the system. These things are real, and these are valid grievances to have – they should not exist, but are not as easy to remove/direct as one’s own fear as you’re there dealing with the entire compromised world system.
So when I say that fear is not real, it doesn’t mean that he issues you for instance brought up, are not real or are not serious – I am only referring to an energetic experience inside yourself, which has a track record of debilitating oneself rather than being supportive, which is something we can change/remove from our realities.
I sense that there is a specific, clearly defined issue that is bothering you – which comes through in your last sentence: “Or at a minimum have your 'dimensions' not intervene or prevent those from killing or removing themselves.”
The dimensions are in no way involved in intervening or preventing anyone from doing anything. Everyone is 100% self-responsible. I suggest you join the Desteni Forum and open a specific thread where you lay out your interpretation of Desteni and/or the Dimensions and what it is that bothers you within it – as the information you currently have is incorrect – and it would be great if we can clear it up for you through discussion.
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