Tuesday, 20 September 2011

I Have the Right to Be How I Am

When I was in primary school, maybe about 9 years old – I was walking with some friends from school towards our homes. One of the girls had started getting bullied because she gossiped a lot about pretty much everyone. She was saying something like “I can’t change who I am, I have the right to be who I am, and if anyone disagrees with how and who I am then that’s their problem”.

When she said it, everyone was just kind of silent because this was kind of a huge concept (remember, we were nine year old and we’re talking about ‘beingness’ and ‘freedom of expression’). Most of us nodded but I couldn’t help myself but think that the statement she made was just not right.

I mean, she was basically saying that, although her behaviour was harmful, no-one had the right to ask her to change because that would infringe her beingness as a whole – which is sacred.

It’s interesting to see how already from a young age, this ingrained belief exists that you cannot change and you will not change because that would simply be disrespectful. And this whole ‘I have the right to be who I am’ belief – will at any given time even prevent someone from even just attempting to change. Because if you attempt to change, well then you are admitting that there’s something “wrong” or “off” with you and that’s just too hard for the ego to handle.

Back then, I would have probably used the exact same excuse to get away with my behaviour. Instead of taking responsibility for my behaviour, simply say that “this is who I am” and asking me to “change who I am” is rude, and thus I am actually the victim of your request for me to take self-responsibility (=asking me to change).

I think this whole concept of “I am who I am and if you don’t like it then f*ck off” attitude came pretty much from all the music we listened. When I was that age we (girls) were mostly into Britney Spears, Spice Girls, Destiny’s Child etc. – and they were full of this stuff.

Even in today’s music and how relationships are portrayed in the media this point of “freedom of speech” or “freedom of expression” gets linked to one’s ‘personality’ – where one’s personality is sacred and divine no matter what and if you question or demand someone to change, you are an abuser of free speech. So all we’re doing is hiding from taking responsibility simply because we have this fucked up idea that we cannot change and we shouldn’t’ change because “we’re just right the way we are”. But if you have a look at the playouts in this world, the policies and rules that we implement = it is quite obvious that “who we are” and “how we behave” is NOT okay.

What Desteni and the Desteni message is trying to do, is to show that how we’ve created this world is not okay and that we have the power to change and make a difference. By changing ourselves and by changing the world – one step at a time. To deny yourself change, is to deny responsibility.

For more on changing yourself visit the Desteni Website
For more in changing the world visit the Equal Money Website
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