Thursday, 19 April 2012

Day 3: Abroad

This is a continuation of my process of applying Self-Forgiveness on Words -- check my 'Day 1' for some more background.

Abroad

When reading the word 'abroad', I immediately got like a warm nice fuzzy feeling inside me -- I almost didn't notice it because it was very slight. So with this word I've given a positive connotation. The meaning of the positive connotation within myself refers to the point of ''abroad is better than home'' -- where 'abroad' is perceived to be better, more exciting and more 'free' than 'home' / 'here'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given the word 'abroad' a positive energy charge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enter a fuzzy warm feeling charge within myself upon reading the word 'abroad'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined 'abroad' as a positive thing and within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined 'home'/'here' within a negative context

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the 'warm fuzzy feeling' I get when faced with the word 'abroad', is really only my desire waking up, to escape my current condition, environment,situation and go ''out there'' where apparently my 'current struggles' do not exist

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that by favouring the word 'abroad' over 'home'/'here' I am in fact favouring escapism and zero-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the very reason why I would like to go 'abroad' is in order to not deal with my current reality and environment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire going abroad as a point of entertainment and distraction instead of taking on my reality and my issues 'here' / at 'home'.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that ''going abroad'' isn't even going to satisfy my desire to escape -- as wherever I go, I will be there, carrying my inner struggles with me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that my issues and struggles aren't place/location dependent -- but that they exist within and as me and thus wherever I go I will simply recreate them -- same points, different picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the creation of a system where people rather escape their reality and issues and ''take off the load'' for a moment -- by traveling and going on holiday. Where no-one considers that when one wants to be away from home that maybe there's a problem that should be addressed. Why is one place better over an other? Why aren't all places equally supportive? This obviously indicates an issue of inequality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support tourism as escapism within favoring 'abroad', and within that support a world of denial where no-one will look at the actual problem as one can simply just 'move out' for a moment and discharge all their worries to then simply go back and 'recharge' themselves full of shit -- creating a pattern of coming and going and never really finding a solution.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that one person's holiday is another person's serving day -- where for one to 'relax' and 'have a nice time' other people require to be available to clean up after them all the time. Making their food, cleaning the room, doing the beds, doing the laundry -- all for the sake of survival in a world where the only thing that means anything is money.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the whole tourism and travel concept is really a concept of polarity -- where for one to have a fun time others need to slave away in order to provide the illusion that one can live without taking care of basic point of self-responsibility


When and as I see myself reacting within a positive energy charge association when hearing/seeing/reading the word 'abroad' -- I stop and I breathe. I see and realise that what I am participating is a pattern of escapism and attempting to avoid self-responsibility and accountability. Instead, I investigate what it is that I would like to 'run away' / 'hide' from and direct myself to sort these points out.

When and as I see myself day dreaming about ''other places'' -- I stop and I breathe. I bring myself back here within the realization that I cannot run nor hide from myself and use this moment of daydreaming as an opportunity to reflect and investigate on why I would want to be somewhere else -- and then correct these points within Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Corrective Application

I commit myself to the creation and establishment of a world where there is no longer a need to go to 'better' places and where it is no longer felt to be needed to 'go away' from one's home environment due to the accumulation of stress as a consequence of survival

I commit myself to the creation and establishment of a world where people take responsibility for the points they face within everyday life so that we do not need to create an entertainment industry where others slave away in order for others to experience some delusional form of 'freedom'

I commit myself to the creation and establishment of a world where all places and all homes receive equal attention -- so that there is no situation of ''the grass is greener on the other side''. Instead the grass is evenly green everywhere  and people can be happy and satisfied wherever they live and wherever they are born

It is interesting how this 'small' and 'slight' fuzzy feeling inside unfolds into a whole construct and belief system with various implications. I almost wasn't going to work with these word because I deemed the reaction as 'too small' at first -- but then I considered that since there is something, it should be interesting to find out how it unfolds and what is implied within this feeling / construct.

Another interesting point is how abroad is constructed out of 'ab' and 'road' -- where by 'ab' stands for the point of 'leaving', 'removing', 'not present' (from derived from Latin) and then the word 'road' -- where going 'abroad' is one leaving one's 'path' and walking away from the road that needs to be walked.
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