Wednesday, 29 May 2013

Day 207: Buying Power and the Idea of Freedom

Continuation to:
Day 206: Uncovering the Mysteries of Self: Just Follow the Money!

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have questioned the dynamics behind my parents and their relations  to money, and their relationship to money and me combined -- wherein I merely accepted that I will never get any substantial amount of money if I ask it directly or through manipulation -- and instead went and just 'took it' -- not seeing and realising that this does not solve my situation in any way that matters because my parents still have the same relationship to money which is influenced by the world system/money system that is in place -- where me 'taking what I need' to 'get what I want' is me merely being interested in satisfying my wants and desires for a short moment -- as surely stealing money around the clock is not something that is going to 'work' -- and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the situation as 'normal' and merely adapted/mutated myself to get what I want

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not bothered looking at the 'bigger picture' but only cared for / considered my own self-interest within 'getting what I want'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was 'standing up for myself' when I took the money, where I believed that I was now 'taking control' and 'taking things into my own hands' -- not seeing and realising that what I was doing was not an actual standing as a solution, but me merely seeking a 'quick fix' to get what I want 'NOW' -- very well knowing that I cannot just 'take money' without there being consequence, and thus not really being 'in control' in anyway whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined that moment and experience of 'being able to buy something I want' as freedom, where I believed that this feeling/experience of me exchanging money for something is what 'freedom is like'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined freedom as walking into a store with money in your pocket and coming out of the store with actual things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined freedom for myself within a limited experience of me buying something without having looked/investigated how freedom is in fact limited by money as the money system we live by -- where this actually exists as the very definition of limitation and a violation to freedom within the context of human rights
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