Saturday, 6 December 2008

Manipulation

Manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed manipulation to exist within and as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate out of self interest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become habituated to manipulating – to manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have accepted manipulating/manipulation within my nature – deeming it as natural

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed manipulation to be normal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined manipulation as ‘normal’ , ‘natural’ and ‘accepted’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that manipulation isn’t normal, natural or acceptable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that manipulation can be justified

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question manipulation in all its different ways and forms

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate people into liking me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to manipulate people into liking me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the idea/perception/belief/opinion/image that I need to manipulate people into liking me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is ok to manipulate other beings into liking me as it is all I have ever known and believe it to be justified because everyone else is doing it – instead of seeing and realising that it is not ok, it is not normal to manipulate and it is not ok that everyone else is doing it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made it a habit to manipulate other beings into liking me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live through a program where I manipulate other beings into liking me – instead of expressing myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed manipulation to be a natural extension of myself

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question why I manipulate other beings into liking me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become used to manipulating other beings into liking me

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question myself and stop in the moment that I see and realise that I am using manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken manipulation for granted because it seemed ‘so me’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to and as manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed manipulation to exist within and as me – as a part of me which I believe to be me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that manipulation is who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within and endless pattern where I manipulate other beings into liking me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to practice manipulation as if it is necessary – like breathing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe manipulation to be necessary

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that manipulation is not necessary

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to just unconditionally express myself – direct – instead of wasting my time in manipulating and calculating how I should express myself to come to a desired outcome/result

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become addicted to manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot do without manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear expressing myself unconditionally out of fear what the other might say or think – and thus I wrap what I want to express in manipulation

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be unconditionally and directive within my expression – but instead present what I want to express in such a way that I can have a desired outcome/result (or avoid a certain outcome/result) – without realising that I am actually compromising myself and my self expression through manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to manipulate in whatever I express

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can choose between expressing myself in a manipulative way – or being direct – whenever it suits me best

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that there lies no choice within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become dependent on manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed manipulation to be my ‘safe zone’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing that part of me where I defined myself according to manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear finding out who I am if I were to let go of manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be scared in letting go of manipulation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of manipulation because of fear of conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have soaked manipulation into everything I say or do – out of fear of conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use manipulation out of fear of conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used manipulation to avoid conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used manipulation so that I do not have to be faced with myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used manipulation as a form of procrastination so that I do not have to face myself – yet

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that whenever I am not being unconditional – I am manipulating in one way or another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the constant and continuous expectation/anticipation of conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken this expectation/anticipation for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the constant and continuous expectation/anticipation of conflict and therefore use manipulation constantly and continuously in order to prevent this ‘conflict’ that I expect/anticipate to be coming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become used to living in constant and continuous expectation/anticipation of conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have conditioned myself into fearing conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project conflict into the future and use manipulation as a means to avoid this ‘conflict’ idea that I projected into the future

Where does this construct originate from?
Childhood - newsflash

Expressing myself unconditionally wasn’t appreciated and thus I compromised and suppressed my self expression. If I did express myself I would to it in such a way towards a being that I could calculate how they would react to it – as in getting positive feedback from them – instead of judgment (if I were to just unconditionally express myself)

So herein the belief/idea was also created that if I were to unconditionally express myself - I would end up being judged. So instead I would present myself and express myself in such a way that I could calculate how the other being would react to it – and get positive feedback because of fear of judgment.

This construct kept running throughout my entire life – even though it didn’t/doesn’t apply to the circumstances at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate other beings into liking me because I fear being judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to use manipulation – and that if I don’t I will end up being judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use manipulation to avoid being judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the idea/belief/opinion/image/perception that if I do not manipulate – I will get judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I unconditionally express myself that I will get judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the idea/image/belief/perception/opinion that if I were to unconditionally express myself – that I will get judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have conditioned myself into believing that I have to use manipulation and that if I don’t I will get judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have conditioned myself into believing that if I express myself unconditionally that I will get judged

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and avoid judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect and anticipate other people judging me and thus I use manipulation as a means to avoid judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear judgment because I believe it to be real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that judgment is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created the image/idea/belief/opinion/perception that judgment is real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attached worth, value and meaning to judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive and believe judgment to be valid

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that judgment is not real – not valid – and is actually worthless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have used manipulation as a means to keep myself safe from judgment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need manipulation to be able to live in this world

I let go

I breathe

I let go of manipulation

I let go of control

I let go of fear

I accept myself

I am here


I express myself here in every moment of breath – where no expectation or anticpation exists – where only I as the breath remains HERE. I express msyelf unconditionally and not accept and allow myself to compromise myself.
I let go of my fear of judgment. I see and realise that judgment is not real – and it never has been real.
I let go of patterns and habits that do not serve me – such as manipulation and the anticipation of judgment.
When I notice myself going into manipulation mode – I STOP – I breathe – I let go and simply express myself unconditionally.
I assist and support myself - within capturing these moments of shifting in a mode - by being here in self presence in every moment of breath. To no longer live in constructs and programs of the past – but live here in every single moment of breath – living to the fullest.

1 comment:

JLZ said...

dito ... yo. But you're in the film with the look, the pad and the pen. l0ls Leila, thanks for the read and many of the points of self, beyond regret.