Allegory of the Cavemind

23/03/08

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to make lots of blog entries so that my previous ones go down and have less chance to be noticed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that Maite and Gabriel read my blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that anyone that I know in real life will find my blog and read it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and alowed myself to fear being self honest to people that I know “in real life”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate the people that “I know in real life” from all the other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am being dishonest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am slowing down my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to finish this process as quick as possible but in the meantime I’m doing nothing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting that someone else finishes this process for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing myself during process and that’s why I do nothing, or postponing doing self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to projecting me facing myself into the future instead of me facing myself here now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I postone facing myself , projecting it into the fututre, it will be les bad, casue the future is the future, not here, far away.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to to face myself here , now, no matter what.

SF on previous post

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel exposed and nervous becasue now I fel vulnerable.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself that only he mind can be vulnerable, as only the mind can be hurt.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for telling lies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge lies as being bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a bad person cause I tell lies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make up stories so I can be worthy in other people their eyes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to other people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to keep up with people and be worthy anough for them to have their attention.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look, seek, search attention outside of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell lies about myself so that people would accept me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell lies because I don't accept myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that telling lies would achieve acceptance.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept myself, but tell lies instead so that people would accept a fake presentation of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take speed because I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept myself to way I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that telling lies would make me look like a better person to the "outside world".

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that taking drugs would make me a better person according to the standards of society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make up stories so I could keep up with the expected norm of society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie so people would think I am acceptable, and normal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do anything so I can live up to the expecations of society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make up stories and lie so i can conform and condition myself to society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that now I wrote down my secret people will dislike me and reject me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people their reactions and judgements when reading my post.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my own reactions and judgements towards their reactions and judgements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear consequences of actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take actions and consequences for granted.

ok, I continue later.

acceptence and allowences : secrets and lies

When I was in my forth year of highschool (maybe fifth, but I think forth) all of my friends had boys- or girlfriends. I was going through my ‘not eating’ phase and went to the bottom of not accepting myself at all. I knew somethin was wrong with me (me having my two worlds: outer and the other that I defined as inner). I didn’t feel as if I was accepted by others as much as I wanted to, and had absolutely no self acceptance. So I created this separate reality in my head, in my mind, where I was the star and everyone loved me.
Whenever I got bored or just felt like doing something else I just slipped into my mind and entertain myself.
I think I did this for the first time 6-4 years ago while being in the car in Spain. Always long rides when being in Spain. I had nothing to do and wanted to do anything but sitting in a car. So it came to me that I can actually do whatever I want, I can do it in my mind. Why day dream from time to time when you can actually create an entire world in which you can go to whenever you want to do whatever you want! So that’s what I did.
And I had lots of fun.
I would have lots of friends and a completely different body. I would do all sort of stuff in my head : sing, dance, play guitar, have boyfriends, party, just lay in the sun (I could literally recreate any kind of experience, make them as real as I would like, be specific about touch, sight, smell, sound…) .
There were about 12 characters (mind created) that returned from time to time, 2 of them were regulars.
At some point when talking to my friends I would mix ‘real’ stories with ‘mind created stories’. I’d talk about the mind created characters as if they were real persons.
At that time, I didn’t think of it as lying. I just saw it as entertaining my friends and myself. When people told me stories, I could tell if it was complete bull shit, partly bullshit or just what really happened. But I didn’t give a fuck whether they told me something real or not. And when I knew it was BS I never said it to them. Cause I had the impression we were living in an utterly fake world, so why the heck shouldn’t we just make up fake things? It don’t matter. Everything we did with friends didn’t matter. We were just entertaining eachother with stories and talk about what we had done in the weekend because we had nothing else to do. We were all this little system kiddies feeding eachothers systems and making more sysems inside of us. And I was there with no real storis to tell, because basically I’m a calm person and in my free time I’m good with the company that is me (and my mind back then), so I told them stuff I made up. And I didn’t feel bad about it. They were happy, they took it, I was happy, no-one was bored and I guessed they’d never find out it was all made up (they still don’t know).
My stories would become soooo long and soooo complex after a period of time that I even forgot how stuff really went in the stories I told. After a while I questioned a lot of events like “hm, was that a real event, or was that one of the part that I made up?”

My stories were well told, were complex, specific…
I still really don’t see it as lying… Although it is something that I allowed myself to do. And now I feel guilty while I know that I shouldn’t be.
Cause really, I don’t see what I did “wrong”. I feel guilty, because I was raised to tell the truth.
Tell truth = good Not tell truth = lie = NOT GOOD.

And then I thought self honesty was about truth. But it is not. But I still feel like I need to “confess” this ‘lie’ to my friends, to my family.
But it wouldn’t be confessing if deep down I really hmmm – how to put this – I never did it to do ‘bad’. I did it because hmm. Yes why did I do it? Well, just because of the fake thing that I saw as existence that made no sense + it’s not because it didn’t make sense and that it was fake that I didn’t want to be part of it. Caue to a certain extent I wanted to be part of it. Because I wented to be accepted, and loved by the fakeness.
Why do I write this? To be honest : I write this because I just want to get rid of this guilt feeling.
I guess I could tell the “truth” to get rid of the feeling. But then I would play the ‘good-bad’ game and tell the truth cause I feel bad. And that’s not a good starting point.
Another starting point could be me facing and testing myself by telling them what I did. Not judging what I did. Tell them while being clear within myself. Cause if I go and tell them now, they’re gonna explode and their reactions will be all over the place, me creating even more reactions, total mind fuse, regeneration. And I don’t feel like giving my mind that right now.
Hmm, do I have other stuff to tell… Oh right.

I wrote this text in fabruari and now clearly see how dishonest I was, and how I was just trying to justify what I did. All mind blabbering. My starting point now it to get rid of secrets, take responseability for them and take them out.

So for me then existence was shit and there was no way out. All my friends were into drugs and I got interested in drugs too because it seemed to soften “the pain of existence”, make you miserable in the end, die young etc, but that didn’t matter to me as long as I would have a solution quick.
I started to look for opium and stuff. Asked around by my friends. Got scared of opium related stuff and then got my hands on speed.

The speed story was eeuhm, quite a story for me. Speed gave me trust, confidence a “I am king of the world feeling”.So, I did that for a while.
First only when going out.
Then also before school.
During exams. During exams I’d be home alone. Study with music on maximum volume. And I knew where the speed was. I could just go up and get it. So I did. My grades were good as always. My oral exams I did with great confidence (and with some whiskey).

Oh and the speed was also good with loosing weight so that’s lots of mindfucks going on together.

But then at one point… I understood that I really didn’t need that drugs. Cause I was experimenting with putting feelings inside you. Like you can be whatever yo want to. Just make the happy feeling inside you, the ‘I’m-in-love-feeling’, depressed feeling whatver. You know what it feels like cause you can recognise it so just put it inside you and become it.
So I did that with the feelings I liked when taking speed. I could put self confidence in me.
I could put trust in me. I could put the’I-feel-like-chatting-all-day-long’ feeling inside.

I used up the speed I had and then never did that again. You fuck your body up big time when taking that stuff. And why pay money for getting those feelings when you can make yourself feel whatever you want to in a way that it doesn’t ruin your body. The drugs only got out of me what was already there. So I had all these things in me I just never used them.


So I played a bit with the feeling stuff but that got boring soon too. And then went back to “normal” life.
So the speed and the story telling stuff was about around the same time.

I stopped the mind reality when I found desteni. I said goodbye to it and never entered it again. I thought I would miss it and would never be able to stay away from it but here I am and it’s been 4 months.

Haha, now I think of it I did some crazy stuff. I even wrote e-mail to myself with an email adres I made up for one of my mind characters and then use that adres to write mails to me and entertain me. Also so I could show my friends and so they would not question my stories.

I remember getting nervous all the time when they would ask me for their pictures. Because I had none of course. I’d just tell them something like ‘yea sure’ and then didn’t do it and they would just forget about it.

So yea, I pretty much told the same stores to everyone I knew.
And while writing this text I decided that I will tell them everything. I will tell them once I get to the point in my process where I can stand clear and tell them without having any reaction and without any reactions to their reactions. When I get to the point where I realise and know that there’s no one that can do anything to me.

I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do, but that’s how I’m going to do it. So I’m just going to focus on my process, do self forgivenss, use the given tools. And when the time is rtight I will tell them. And I will have no shame.

I also made up those people, boyfriends so I could tell my sister about it. Cause she had boyfriends and stories to tell and I didn't. I wanted to keep up with her and be worthy in her eyes. Not been seen as a pathetic little sister about which she was ashamed. Then I also told the stories to my borther cause I felt the same way about him. And now it's out.

being HERE; the solution as much as the problem

While being on the train I was wondering a bit about being HERE. Of all the things I do and don't want to do, the problem/solution is always the being HERE. The fact that you are here, whatever you do.

Hmm... So what is it that makes me perceive that being HERE is a problem? What is it that doesn't make me like waiting or being bored? What is it that doesn’t make me like to be here?

When I'm waiting, why am I waiting? When I'm bored, why am I bored? I'm waiting and I'm bored cause in the moment I am bored/waiting I have no purpose. I'm here and that's it. Just me. That made me think of The Law of my Being.
So that made me want to observe me in the state of waiting/being bored. And I came to the conclusion that it's about who you are, or who you "think" you are. It's about your past, it's about your mind, it's about not having a purpose, getting agitated cause you "have nothing to do", you’re stuck with yourself and there's no hiding from self.

When I'm frustrated or bored it's because I have no purpose, I have no goal, nothing to achieve. And if I would have something to achieve it wouldn't change the fact that I'm still here only now, "I have a purpose for which I can live, hooray". And even if I had a goal or purpose or whatever, once it's achieved, I'm still here. What am I gonna do then??

Then I guess it's got to do with self trust, self acceptance. Not being dependent on an outer source, separated from self.

Being bored pretty much shows you to what extent you are fucked. It's in the being HERE that everything comes together, you face it all if you want it or not. So you can either look away, or do something about it. I "choose" the latter. It's not like I've got a choice anyway haha.

And therefore, it's the solution as well. So what better way to do something about it than applying Self Forgiveness, here I go:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become of an unbearable mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, perceive, think, that there is no way out, I'm stuck with, myself, damned for eternity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, perceive, think, experience myself as if I need something outside and separate from myself, a reason for which I can exist.

I forgive myself that I haven't allowed and accepted myself to live for me. For the joy of being me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive, believe, experience, think that life is a burden.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive, believe, experience, think that that's the way life is, there's nothing to do about it so we might as well just keep doing what we're doing.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to give myself the chance, the opportunity to purify myself, even if every breath, every moment is an opportunity I still don't accept and allow myself to change my nature.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself that I can change my nature that I have accepted and allowed myself in every moment, every breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, think, perceive, experience that I need to chain myself to some purpose - if not - I cannot exist cause there is no reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, think, perceive, experience that I need something or someone outside of myself to life for.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live, breath, be here for me, to dedicate myself to me, to all as one as equal, unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I define the experience of me in every moment, I direct me, thus I can change my experience of me in every moment, it's up to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame boredom on something outside and separate from me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to make peace with what I have become, what I have let myself become, to let it go, no longer let it control influence me, and direct things for me for all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, think, experience, believe that someone has to tell me who I am for me to know who I am and what I need to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe, experience, think, perceive that being here is unbearable, and that I must go into my mind before I can enjoy myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only experience myself as who I am when I am in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my mind, and its limitations.

I am not the mind

I am Life

I am here

I am one and equal to that is in existence.

I do not need a goal, or something to achieve live.

I am here, I.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise my full responseability towards myself as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to face myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to face all that I have accepted and allowed within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide that facing myself is impossible and that I might as well go back into my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be too chicken scared to face myself as all the things I have accepted and allowed myself to become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing all my dishonesties.

I am infinite

I am here

I am comfortable with my self

I let go of my past

I don't let my mind, my past influence and control me.

I am here

I am life

I don't need no fucking reason.

Self Forgiveness concerning the Ouija Board.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear suing the ouija board.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let Andrea’s story influence and control me as in fear of meeting some evil entity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be messing with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the answers that will come out while assisting and supporting.

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear that I will be unable to be unconditionally there, letting the dimensional being speak.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start judging myself even before the experience of using a ouija board.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that using the ouija board will provide me of an answer, purpose or higher importance with which I can feed my mind with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that once I am finally able of using the ouija board as a bridge to communicate, that I might not want to hear or read the answers and let my mind interfere and manipulate the answers.

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might feel special when using the ouija board and thus participate in a mindfuck.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be dishonest and that I will be messing with my self.

I forgive myslef that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to have expectations of answers and beings in my mind which I fear that might manifest while using the ouija board.

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to fear that I might panick when using the ouija board out of fear of the outcomes/answers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to fear the dimensional being I will commmunicate with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might not be patient enough to learn to trust myself and to learn the skills of using the ouija board

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that it will be my mind talking instead of life.

I forgive msyelf that I havent accepted and allowed msyelf to built self trust.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally just "try" using the ouija board and see what comes isntead of worrying and fearing before anything even happened.

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to belive that I will still judge myself no matter what.

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that there are many points I am currently not doing self forgiveness on that might make me mess with myself alter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will have no control and thus for having and keeping the illusion of control I start appplying Self Forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself to know when the coin is moving.

I go and try out the ouija board right now, will see what happends
oh no there goes my solar plexus rambeling....

Ok, I'm back haha, I wrote the alphabet and stuff on paper but I'm too chicken scared to do it.
Hmm, just resisting and resisting. SO I thought hmm maybe smoking a cigarette will help me being here but then I jsut smoked and tried not to look at the paper soo aargh.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide that I DO NOT HAVE THE GUTS to use the ouija board. yeah Leila, that's common sense, riiight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to judge myself because I didn't apply common sense.

on self forgiveness

I realised that I had given a defenition to the words - accepted and allowed - and the thing is that I have seen the words - accepted and allowed - as something BAD. So actually, what I did while doing Self Forgiveness was basically judging, as I based the words - accepted and allowed - on a judgement based on idea/belief. I was judging myself the entire time, instead of seeing the words - accepted and allowed - as a form of taking responsability, saying yes, this is what I did, but I do not let it control or influence me, I embrace it as me, I let go.

so everyline came down to this

I judge

I judge

I judge

I judge

With every forgiveness line I would state : Leila, you are baaaaad person.

you get the picture.
I wasn't applying myself unconditionally. But I did what I "thought" what was "right" at the time, as what I understood.

Also, it was that instead of embracing, making peace and let go of everything - I rejected, denied and separated myself from that which I was applying Self Forgiveness on. I would worry about like a fear, instead of just letting it go all throughout me, but not letting it influence or control me. Cause in the moment that you understand, realise that it cannot possibly influence, control or affects you, it's like the feeling just suddenly disintegrates.

In my head I would go "shit, shit, I have fear inside me, I have to get rid of it, Fast! Self forgiveness : "judgement, judgement, judgement, judgement".

Haha, I thought there was no way you could do something wrong with Self Forgiveness. Well it's not really like "do something wrong", it's about those tricky startingpoints. There where you held back on being self honest. Take nothing for granted is the message!
Obviously there is still a lot that I need to consider, but I still feel as if I'm getting ahead of everything.

So focus is still on breath, as it is the foundation. Everyday is another chance to just apply breath and just focus on that. Much easier, and practical than wanting to do all at once. Don't ask what you can't handle lol.
And besides of the breathing I will also focus on my project for class and apply self forgiveness in a new way, when it is needed. Just those 2 points, breath and project. Once I get the hang of the breath I take next step, and slowely but surely I will built self honesty and self trust within me as me as all as one as equal.

Breath out...










Another thing, sometimes I feel like the breathing is like when you're really, really thursty and you feel like you could drink an entire bottle of water at once - thats the feeling I have after school. Or maybe like I'm drowning and just need to grasp Aaaaaaaaah, air.
Whatever hahaahaha.

about dream world and separation

I am writing this because I understood a few things that I didn't understood before.
First thing I want to talk about is separation. I have realised that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all and everything BIG TIME. Although this was always floating up the surface, it was something I decided not to look at. Well not really ignoring, I just knew that there was tomething I wasn't considering but I couldn't find any words to discribe what it was. It was like this splinter in my brain, making me feel odd, but I didn't know there was a splinter!
Yes, I think I'll describe it like that.

So, I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from all and everything. Yes. Hmm. I really believed and was convinced that -I, who I am - I am not this world, and I am nothing of those things that happen inside me.
Haha. Yes now I think it's funny. I laugh at myself. I understood this, but only to a certain extent. It was only after watching Matti's 2 videos on self honesty that I understoond and realised the extent of it.
[ links : self honesty , self honesty 2]

What I understood before (just a few days back) - and this is where I get to the "Dream World" part - is that I am this World. Like, when you're dreaming, you're experiencing yourself in a world, right. You understand that the world is mind created, but it is a world, and you created it, it is a part of you, it is you.
So I realised that this was exactly the same when you're not in a dream! It's exactly the same! How come I didnt consider that before? Well, that doesnt really matter, as I realised it now.
And now is ok. So when I look at the world from that perspective, I understand now, what it is oneness. What separation means, what equality means. It is really obvious, really!
But as I separated myself from all and everything, I did not grasp this, well not fully. But now I know, and now I understand.
I understand what action I have to take. That this is not just something for --me--.
And I never really just did it for me anyway. I did it for something, higher, for something of a bigger importance. But Leila! THERE IS NO HIGHER IMPORTANCE! You've been fooling yourself. hahaahahahaa.
I always used water, sea, ocean as an example for me to understand oneness. Like you can be a drop of water but you're still a part of the ocean, the sea, you are it. And I knew it was the same for me as the world, as all that exists. But I guess I didn't wanted to push myself through that, to that next realisation. Because I didn't want to face myself.
Well yes, in some moments I wanted to face myself. But I understand now, that, those moments, where kind of moment of despair. Like " Oh the hell with it just let me quick experience hell so I cang et voer it". It was not based on self honesty. It was based on fear. Fear of me , fear of the world, fear of the world as me.
I haven't accepted and allowed msyelf to embrace msyelf.
What I found when doing Self Forgiveness, is that it always comes down to me not loving, accepting and embracing me as who I am, a being here, now in the moment. I just can't do it. Well, not yet of course.
It's like this impossible, unimaginable thing to think of, me loving and accepting me.
we all living as one as equal? I never really believed it was possible to be honest. And I knew this even when I just started "actively" in process. That doing this process, is just another thing to keep me busy, being entertained even. I thought of it as the same as fasting or learning a new language. It was a purpose. BUT THERE IS NO PURPOSE!!!! WHy don't I just fucking acept that!!!!! Why can't I be content with me, just me nothing else. Being here, aware, nothing. Nope, for some ridicules reason I decided, Leila, what you thinking there is Bull shit and it is impossible and can Never be accomplished, BUT ofcourse you can keep yourself busy with this process if you like for the time being. Cause frankly, that's what I decided.
Hmmm. There you are Leila, you got it out. Hmmmpf.

Also, I noticed that I was always trying to accomplish, achieve some goal, or whatever. And I wanted everything to be done immediatly, instead of taking care of a specific point one by one.
What I will work on now, is the embracing of me as the world and everything that exists in this world as me. Make peace with it. I understand that without that, I have no real foundation and will probably just keep running circles in my mind.
Live it. Live it. Live.

So I really have to work and that, me world, not avoiding, not denying, lettign go, make,peace with it. Then I can go itno real effectiveness. Hmm, ok I stop now.

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Edited 16:30 = 4.30 pm
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I had a few moments of reflection that I wanted to share.
What I noticed whithing myself when watching Matti's video at the point where he talks about doing your process for all as one as equal, is that I was thinking of this girl of my class - which i have lots of issues with - and I was thinking, OMG, MAtti's right, becasue there is no way that right now I am doing this process for me as one and equal as her.
That's when I found the splinter. big AHA moment.
Also, if you make peace with yourself as the world as all as one as equal, there exists no judgement!!

What I noticed to is that my definition of equality and the words I linked to equality made me limit myself, and my understaning of equalitiy. It's kind of stupid, but I always linked equality with communism. So, I sorted that out too now. hahaa. Insightful moments here. lol

FAQ - What is the White Light, and wy did it exist? -

FAQ - What is the White Light, and wy did it exist? - DIAPORAMA

Made this some time ago because I remember "disliking" to read the FAQ the way it was on the Desteni website. So I put the text into powerpoint so you can just lay back and read relaxed. Haha.

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I also made one for the soul construct today and added it to the box.