Sunday, 12 October 2008

SF

SHARING

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to share

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken sharing for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself sharing

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself actually consider sharing - out of fear of being wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that someone points out that I am wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take it personally and go into self-judgment when I find out I am 'wrongr

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value worth and meaning to 'right' and 'wrong'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a hard time admitting to myself and others that I was wrong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into defense when somebody points out that I am wrong - and even if I see that this is the case I will still defend my point out of ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in to ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend my ego as my self given self-definition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive my ego as more important than me being self honest with me by defending it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight for 'me being right"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the automated reaction of defense when someone points out that what I am saying doesn't make sense

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify what I said when someone points out that it doesn't make sense - just so I can be right anyway


I now go over to Veno's document on Female Ego - do the SF and add my own

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to always want, need and desire to be right.

I forgive mysrelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight for 'me being right'because I do not want my self-definition to be bruised.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to exist within petrifying fear of possibly being ‘wrong’ or mistaken – I must and have to always be ‘right’

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to exist in the self defined category of the mind as polarity friction and conflict between what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to for some moments change my definitions of "right" and "wrong" to the definition that others have that are in my presence that very moment - so that I can be right along with them for that moment - and then switch back over to my normal beliefsystem of "right" and "wrong" - just for that momentary feeling of fitting - using manipulation

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define myself as female, feminine and woman – instead of me expressing me within and as oneness and equality of life – the purity expression of me as life – undefined by female, feminine and woman

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to always want, need and desire to be right with the wisdom, insight, knowledge and information I have attained and obtained through ‘life experience’ and the family of woman that has gone before me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to defend my knowledge, wisdom and information - not being able to comprehend why other beings cannot agree with me - and because of my ego I will not allow myself to open myself up for their perspectives or insights

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am right and everyone else is wrong

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that just because I am older, ‘more advanced’ in life experience, have attained and obtained much ‘knowledge and information and wisdom’ – ‘I know everything’ and thus know the difference between right and wrong and will thus pass this on to the generation that is to come

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to believe that ‘I know everything’ and because I know everything – I am able to ‘pass on this knowledge that I know’ to the generation that is to come

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want other beings to agree with my knowledge and wisdom so i can feed and boost my ego and my self-definition / personality design based on that knowledge,information,wisdom

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that this ‘I know everything’ is a one-dimensional opinion – and does not originate as the expression of me within and as self honesty of oneness and equality of life as all as one as equal

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to derive a sense of ‘strength’ and ‘power’ through stating ‘my point of view’ as ‘my opinion’ that charge my ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by "expressing" and opinion - I am now SOMEONE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give value, worth and meaning to opinion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by the media that promotes "expressing your opinion" making a big deal out of people's opinion as if it means something and that you should RESPECT someone's opinion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to believe that I must ALWAYS RESPECT someone's opinion because that is what I have been thaught so - that's how it must be

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that RESPECTING someone's opinion IS COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into
suppression when talking tos omeone because I MUST RESPECT THEIR OPINION

I forgive myself for all the times that have accepted and allowed myself to hold back and say nothing because I believed that I did not have the authority to speak and that it is VERY RUDE to speak up and show apparent DISRESPECT for someones opinion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become FUCKING ANGRY at the education system and my parents and the media FOR THE BULLSHIT THEY HAVE THAUGHT ME

I FORGIVE MYSELF THAT I HAVE NEVER ACCEPTED AND ALLOWED MYSELF TO EXPRESS MY ANGER FOR ALL THE FREAKING BULLSHIT THAT GOES ON INT HIS FREEEAAAKIGN WOOOOOOOOORLD

breathe

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to go over in reactive behaviour

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise the vastness of the bullshit in this world - it is BEYOND imagination

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make society's rules my own

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act and behave according to the rules fo society according to what society says is 'right' and 'wrong' - acting and behaving according to their values

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question someone's opnion just for the sake that I do not want anyone to question MY opinion

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself accordign the the opinions of my mind based on my belief system of what is right and wrooooong

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself cherish feed and take care of my beliefsystems as if it is a nice little cutie baby pie that needs to GROOOOOOOOW

DIE BABY DIE

lolol

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question why I desperatly need to defend my "point of view"/opinion but instead jsut went with the automated reaction that I am so familiar with

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question why it is so important for me to be right

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question what it actually is that I am defending

I forgive myself that I have never actually accepted and allowed myself to question the experience of defence

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question the experience of wanting to be right

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’ is a derivate of the mind according to the way I have shaped, conformed and conditioned myself within and as the polarity friction and conflict of the mind between what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’.

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to shape, conform and condition myself within this world according to the female, feminine and woman stature and status within and of the unified consciousness field in order to ‘survive’ in this world – and thus will teach and show the generation to come the exact same method of survival – because ‘I love them’

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to ‘think’ and ‘believe’ that I require, need and have to have many human beings (as apparent friends) agree with ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’ – to thus assert and confirm my conformities and conditionings of the mind between what is ‘right’ and what is ‘wrong’.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that ‘friends’ are the fiends of the world – and that I only enclose myself within a social gathering group of friends to constantly and continuously remind myself, my ego, that it as I is ‘right’ and thus constantly and continuously assert and confirm my state of mind as ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pick out my friends in such a way that I know my ego is safe and has got an abundance of opportunities to GROW and EXPAND

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’ is of the ego – the ego that has become me – the ego of rightness and righteousness – the right of existence as me as the mind of the mind as the ego which I have accepted and allowed myself to become – defined as a woman, female and feminine example of this world within and as the unified consciousness field

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘think’ and ‘believe’ that I deserve and must have respect because of ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’ being absolutely imperative and important to the contribution of the unified consciousness field as the ego that I have accepted and allowed myself to become – to assist and support other woman as myself with the exact same ego establishment and design – thus to assist and support them in having their ‘own opinion’ and their ‘own point of view’ also from their mind’s ego – thus we egos stick together to remain of the mind as the mind as the ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow and accept - even assist and SUPPORT other peoples self-dishonesties jsut so that they would do the same with mine -- so that I do not have to face myself - so that I do not have to see the truth of me - so that I do not need to change - so that I can hide and live in ignorance FOR EEEEEVEEEEEER

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that respect is the relationship formation demanded from the mind’s ego that I have accepted and allowed myself to become – because in demanding respect – I am pleading for my validation as the mind’s ego as ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’ being ‘right’ and justified – so that others must agree with me – so that I may agree with myself as the mind’s ego – to confirm over and over and over again – to myself, through others – that what I am, what I say and what I consist of and what I do: Is right

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that the mind’s ego will always look for validation, conformation, agreement and respect from others – because the mind’s ego cannot exist without others agreeing with it’s existence as ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in the continuous search of validation and confirmation of who I am and that I am right through others by them AGREEING with me

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to respect myself

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that the ego of the mind will always attempt and try to search, seek and pull out methods like a magician to justify, confirm it’s existence as ‘being right’ and righteous in its actions and words

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that those that don’t want to participate and nurture my ego as ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’ – are attacking me, are ‘evil’ and are ‘wrong’ and don’t belong in this world or my world or anyone’s world for that matter – because this is the world where egos nurture egos and will find and discover any and all methods to ensure that they don’t ‘influence’ or ‘harm’ or ‘bruise’ my ego as ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’ – because I am right ad they are wrong – they are wrong for not wanting to nurture my precious ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go in total hate and resentment towards those people that do not agree with me and my ego and that refuse to feed my cherised precious ego

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that I go in total hate and resentment because my self-definition is now in DANGER because some beings are not AGREEING with me and thus I feel insecure and my beliefsystem about myself is being CHALLENGED and thus I go into hate and resentment to compensate this experience - while I am perfectly aware that my beliefsystem was enver real and those beings just confirmed it - but still i will try to justify it and my inner conflict then results into apparent hate and resentment towards those beings that do not agree with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my ego is who I am and no-one and nothing will change me as the ego of the mind – I will bring out my army of justifications, excuses and reasons for not wanting to or daring to give up the ego of the mind I have accepted and allowed myself to become – because I fear that if I were to give up my precious ego – I will die, no longer being who I am now

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to my ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defiend myself according to my programs/beliefsystems

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a beliefsystem about myself - to which I hold unto 'as if my life depends on it' lolol

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to define my ego as ‘my precious’ – not daring to give it up or letting it go – because then – my world will change and I will change and I might not have any friend or companions anymore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot exist without friend and companions – I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that the necessity of and addiction to friends and companions only derive of the mind’s ego – because the mind’s ego constantly and continuously require confirmation, validation and justification for it’s own existence as ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’ of what is ‘right’ in ‘my eyes’ – the ‘eyes’ of the mind that see and look from a one-dimensional perspective

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually believe I am three-dimensional – the physical manifested existence is three dimensional in expression – I exist as the mind – as the picture defined I see in the mirror – the reflection of me as the one-dimensional existence of me that I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain the limitation of the one-dimensional existence of me that I have become as the ego of the mind – and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from creation as me – the three dimensional physical manifested universe – the trinity as one as I am as life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed total limitation to exist within and as myself by holding on to ego no matter what

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to sex and sexuality – the ego of the mind’s enjoyment and pleasure centre – sex being that absolute ample opportunity for the ego of the mind to regenerate and rejuvenate as that which I have accepted and allowed myself to become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to transform myself from a girl to a woman to a mother/wife within and of the unified consciousness field – because I have accepted and allowed myself to define who I am according to the unified consciousness field and must thus conform, condition and shape me according to the cycles of consciousness existence – transforming and transfiguring me to survive by the law of the unified consciousness field.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live by the law of conscious unified field within this world – to be supported and ‘taken care of’ by the ‘hands of God’ as the unified consciousness field – my creation as the mind’s creation – where egos support egos in the synchronized formations of relationships such as marriage and friends

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shape, conform and condition myself within and of the unified consciousness field from girl, to woman to mother/wife in preparation through ‘life/living’ cycles of consciousness unified field – to become the ego of the mind that
I have defined as who I am – ‘lost’ within my creation as the mind’s creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a girl

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react when someone refers to me as WOMAN

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged
the word woman

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judged the word woman as bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to have defines 'woman' as a girl that is now totally fucked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if you are a woman - you are now fucked eternally

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see that by reacting to the word "woman" as ind enying that I am one - I am wanting to deny that I am fucked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist seeing the extent to which I am fucked

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the truth of me - which only intensifies the experience of inner conflict

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist seeing the truth of me because then i have no other choice (I hove NO CHOICE ANYWAY) but to take self-responsibility else I end up in self--hate and it's so not worth it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allwoed myself to resist seeing the truth of me and being self-honest about who I have allowed myself to be and become without judging myself for it

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to release myself and let go of all self judgment because it is really not worth it and it's soo not needed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as feminine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined feminine as weak

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly despise myself for being a female because I have accepted and allowed myself to define femals as weak, less than and inferior - looking at myself and females through the eyes of a superior, more than, strong MALE

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined males as more than,stron and superior

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to address, dress, behave, act, speak, communicate, converse, participate, react, respond according to my one dimensional defined existence as woman, wife, feminine, mother, girl, lady, ma’am – the definition of me as the mother matrix system as the manifestation within this world as the polarity friction equation and conflict of right and wrong

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that the Female Ego as the Mother Matrix System is the manifestation of the polarity friction and conflict between right/wrong – good/bad – positive/negative within and of the unified consciousness field – the mind as the Female Ego as the Mother Matrix system – enabling, supporting, assisting the existence of the polarity frictions and conflicts manifestations within of the unified consciousness field as this systematic reality we call ‘world experience’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking self responsibility for me as the Female Ego as what I have accepted and allowed to manifest, support and enable within this world as the polarity friction and conflict of the unified consciousness field – through shame, sorrow and regret for all that I have caused and for all that I am individually responsible for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘sell myself’ to the unified consciousness field of the mind / the systematic reality in becoming the Female Ego and design, conform and condition myself like and as all other woman / females within this world to assist and support each other as the Female Ego in assisting and supporting the unified consciousness field that can only exist within and of polarity friction and movement – because I feared to stand up for me – to stand up for all – because of fear of death

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the consciousness unified field of as this entire world and the manifestation thereof as humanity experience themselves – require and need and depend upon human beings to define, become, be, behave, act, react within and as their self defined one-dimensional nature as the ego of the mind to exist as constant polarity friction and conflict between right/wrong – good/bad and positive/negative to generate ‘movement’ / the perception of ‘evolution’ within and of the unified consciousness field

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the children I brought into this world: Is mine and that it is my ‘responsibility’ as a mother/father – to ‘teach’ and ‘show’ them how to become the ego of the mind as I am – to exist as the polarity conflict and friction generators that generate this world as the unified consciousness field to exist and have the ability to ‘move’ as apparent ‘evolution’

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be so mesmerized and hypnotized by my own mind’s ego as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become – that I do not see or hear the world as humanity crying in agony, pain and sorrow of the destruction of the world and existence as me – because I believe and perceive this world and humanity is apparently evolving - I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realise and understand that this world is evolving into the true nature of man stepping forth – the nature of man as the destruction of self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so pre occupied and indulged in my ego that I do not see what is actually happening - what is actually going on in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by my own ego

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the mind clouden my view from what is really HERE

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise that the children of the world, the animal kingdom and nature is here to show those that has gone before them – what they have accepted and allowed themselves to become: Raping life, torturing life, abusing life, killing life, destroying life – the mind the infestation, the disease within and as human beings ruining the innocence of life expression as the children, nature and the animal kingdom – unconditionally expressing themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harbour this self hatred, self anger, self regret, self abuse, self destructive nature within me for accepting and allowing myself to be and become what I have as the mind – in this anger, hatred, regret, sorrow, sadness, remorse – I blame life – and thus – I destroy life because life made me what I am and thus I will teach and show the generations to come to be just like me – just like mom and dad – so we can destroy life together

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise – that life as who I am is innocent – and thus – I am individually responsible for me as for all that I have accepted and allowed to exist within me and have become as the mind – and thus that I must stand up for me as life as all as one as equal as who I am as one and equal as all – to STOP and discontinue what I as each have accepted and allowed to manifest within this world as the experience of humanity within and as the unified consciousness field – to discontinue the suffering of innocent children, the animal kingdom and nature: Till here no further

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined my innoncence as NOT VALID
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined innocene as something that doesn't make sense because it is not LOGICAL in my point of view - the view of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not ‘powerful’ enough, that I am not ‘strong’ enough to stand up and say: Till here no further to stop what I have accepted and allowed – and thus remained hidden, secluded and locked within myself in becoming the ego of the mind to just live out this life, get it over and done with and survive while I’m here – living the statement: Ah, well, I’m here so – I’ll make do with what I have until I die

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have the courage and will within me as me to stand up and say: Till here no further – and instead I accepted and allowed myself to conform, shape and condition myself according to the necessity to survive in this world, to be accepted in this world as the unified consciousness field – and thus allowed and accepted myself to ‘fall’ – fall in the love of the design as the unified consciousness field – the design of marriage and the design of family and the design of relationship – in order to be ‘noticed’ and ‘accepted’ within the system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted, obsessed and possessed to the necessity and requirement of desire, appreciation, want and need from others constantly and continuously – because the ego of the mind requires being noticed and appreciated and desired to sustain itself and assert itself within and as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and need and require to ‘be desired’ by another – because in being desired by another – I am being noticed, accepted and appreciated – because I have not noticed, accepted and appreciated even myself yet

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obsessed, possessed, hypnotized and mesmerized by the one dimensional picture presentation of myself I see as the reflection of my mind’s projected ego I see in the mirror every day – which I have accepted and allowed myself to define as ‘who I am’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be defined, controlled, mesmerized and hypnotized with obsession, possession, desire, want and need – locking, caging and secluding myself within and as and of my own mind’s ego – lost to the decay of the of the life experience ahead until I die a slow death through ageing

I forgive myself that I have allowed and accepted myself to be obsessed, possessed, mesmerized and hypnotized by my own mind – my own ego as my ‘own opinion’ as ‘my point of view’ – not allowing or accepting myself to ‘look outside the box / beyond the box’ – the box the seclusion and imprisonment of my own mind’s ego that is, has to be and will always be ‘right’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want, need and desire to be loved and to be appreciated by another – I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed and accepted myself to realise the mind’s ego always want, need and desire appreciation and love from another – because I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always want, need and desire validation, conformation and agreement from others – I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that only the mind’s ego want, need and desire validation, confirmation and agreement from others because of it’s own inferiority, uncertainty and ‘less than’ status – that other’s ‘boost’ when they nurture my ego in agreeing with me and standing ‘by’ me

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I have defined my placement, my status and my stature within this world and my world as other’s world as important and valid and justifiable – according to my mind’s ego – according to what ‘I know is right’ – according to ‘my opinion’ and ‘my point of view’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be chased by the desire, want and need to be important, to be noticed, to be recognized, to be appreciated, to be accepted, to be desired, to be loved, to be wanted – all attributes of the mind’s ego I have accepted and allowed myself to become – placing myself on a pedestal in my own world – ‘more superior’ than anyone else because of ‘my opinion’, ‘my point of view’ – my one dimensional existence as the mind’s ego of what I perceive, what I have been taught and what I have learned as ‘right’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lost, possessed, obsessed, mesmerized and hypnotized by my own one dimensional perspective of the self defined nature as me as the mind’s ego
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