Day 164: Eating Disorders as Perfection of Mind Dominance

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 155: Introduction – Starving Myself
Day 156: Wanting Passion and Purpose in Life
Day 157: Generating an Eating Disorder – The Power of Thought - Part 1
Day 158: Generating an Eating Disorder - The Power of Images - Part 2
Day 159: Generating an Eating Disorder – The Power of Writing – Part 3
Day 160: Eating Disorders and Contradictions
Day 161: Become an Image and be Treated as an Image
Day 162: Eating Disorders and Unforetold Consequences
Day 163: Mistaking Obsession for Passion
 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have perceived a sense of ‘Perfection’ within viewing/observing people with an Eating Disorder, wherein I admired their discipline, commitment, passion and willpower – where they continued to walk the decision they made ‘against all odds’, even when those closest around them did not support them

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have looked at eating disorders from only a one dimensional perspective, where I saw only what I wanted to see and did not see the destructiveness, obsession and complete loss of control within having abdicated one’s life to the only purpose of maintaining one’s eating disorder

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise the commitment, willpower, diligence, discipline and passion was not one of expression – where the person is expressing and applying these points as themselves – but where instead through a process of accumulation, one has become the slave to one’s thoughts, feelings, emotions and imagination to such an extent that they just can’t stop to the point of Death

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that what I was observing as the commitment, willpower, diligence, discipline and passion within a person with an Eating Disorder was in fact a display of what happens when one gives over and abdicates one’s self-responsibility – allowing the mind to dictate one’s actions to the most absolute extent - against all common sense consideration

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that what I perceived and admired as commitment, willpower, diligence, discipline and passion within a person with an ED was not the expression of the person as a point of Self-Movement, but a display of the ruthlessness of the Mind – as a point of obsession, limitation, enslavement and destructiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have romanticized the manifestation of eating disorders within not understanding how the Mind and Reality actually operates – as there is in fact nothing ‘romantic’ or ‘admirable’ within a person having an Eating Disorder, as all an Eating Disorder displays is how we as humanity have accepted and allowed ourselves to try and impose an illusion upon reality, which an ED shows quite nicely = is not possible and always leads to destruction of what is real as what is here as this physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive Eating Disorders as having a sense of ‘Perfection’ and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question my definition of perfection – as setting one’s Mind to try an attain an image which is physically unsustainable and doomed should not in anyway whatsoever ever be considered to be a form of ‘Perfection’, yet in terms of who we are as a World Society, we are all accepting and allowing exactly this: we have accepted and allowed ourselves to adopt a lifestyle which is unsustainable and doomed to collapse – while the Elite is well off and fed, just as the Mind is nicely fed in the Life of a person of ED with thoughts, feelings and emotions– the majority of the population live a life of misery, poverty and starvation – just like the body of a person with an ED is deprived - living in pain, starvation. As an ED person mines their body of resources, burning and losing physical tissue for the sake of a mind experience -- we Mine the Earth of Physical Resources in order to convert it into an illusionary experience as Money

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that by glorifying Eating Disorders, I am only glorifying and admiring the absolute fuckedupness of humankind as destructive virus we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become -- because just like a person with ED, we are disciplined, we are diligent, we are committed to fuck up the Earth as a Living Body for the sake of maintaining our Disordered Lifestyle where Money is the Pinnacle of our Experience