note to self

Toxni - the 'wearing out' is experienced when you're 'wanting to move fast and do as much as possible' - within which your experience is that of 'doing' and not self expression within and as that which you apply. What then will manifest is that your application becomes a construct/system - instead of you actually assisting and supporting you through the expression of you within and as self forgiveness and self corrective application for example. Therefore - take it 'slow', meaning assist and support you here in and as natural breathing, when you see points come up - you direct yourself within it in the moment What I have experienced for example, is that one tend to go into anxiety and fear / judgment when you see the points of for instance thoughts/reactions come up within you - then your starting point is that of anxiety/fear/judgment and when you accept/allow you to apply yourself within such a starting point - you feed the constructs instead of assisting and supporting you here And when you go into anxiety/fear/judgment, it's like a 'urge' that comes up as a 'rush' that makes you think you have to 'do as much as possible as fast/quickly as possible' - and in this, you 'miss you here' and actually 'go into the mind' So whenever you experience an 'urge to want to move faster' - stop - take a deep breath, release the energetic charge of the 'rush' and breathe naturally here What I realised within this, is that the fear/judgment/anxiety was actually towards the thoughts/reactions in itself - that I developed a fear/judgment/anxiety towards/of the mind and all it consist of and if your starting point within self application/expression is of judgment/fear/anxiety towards the mind - self forgiveness/self application is useless, because it's not a self expression within and as which I assist and support me here So Toxni - realise that the mind isn't the 'enemy' - the mind actually assist and support you within this process of self realisation here in revealing you/showing you all that you have separated you from, to within this - amalgamate you with you here