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So I just read Sunette's blog (which you can find here: http://dancewithme.ning.com/ ) and was completely devastated. By reading her story I was reading my own. I only fully got this when I was at the end and writing a comment. Something opened within me that had been locked and I just let it flow out through my tears. I experienced myself like the younger 'kid' I was when I started to allow myself to not to be me, but the person that would fit in and that everyone would like. Why? And for what? I keep asking myself. Certainly not for me because it wasn't doing me any good. What made me do all these things, adaptations, fake friendships, masks, changing of style etc. It was me who did it. ME. And that isn't too cool to realise.
But I'm glad I did. I understand now. I can work on it and stop it. I'm still quite processing this whole realisation so I'll stop here and go sit somewhere quiet and just breath and let it go.
Thanks