Sunday, 20 January 2008

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to write lists of what to do (when I’m bored) and then not do the things on the list because I’m too fucking lazy and rather be bored and entertain myself with my mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to make a list of the things I have to do instead of just doing them right away and get it done with.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to postpone my schoolwork under the disguise of “a planning”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become distracted while doing self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to “create more opportunities” during the week to do self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see all the days of the week as equal instead of believing that the weekend days are more equal than others because then I don’t need to attend school.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to use ‘it’s a school day’ as an excuse to not do self forgiveness because “I’m tired and “worked” all day long”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define sitting on a chair in a class and write something down once in a while as work.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that school is hard.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that it doesn’t matter whether I’m at school or not, I am still the same person and I am still able to focus on my breathing.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to do useless stuff between two forgiveness lines.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to postpone cleaning up my room.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become angry at my mom because she is angry at me because I don’t tidy up my room.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become angry just because someone else is angry on me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think that I might no put the last forgiveness line into application.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to listen to my minds bull shit.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to give authority to my mind and obey my mind.
I forigve myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stand up against my mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to used to think that my mind is great and awesome and that I don’t need nothing ecept for my mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am my mind.
I forgive myself that I have never allowed myself to ask myself if I’m maybe not something else then just my mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel some respect towards Anu because he really designed a clever mass destruction mind there.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel respect for my mind.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear losing my mind out of fear that I will be lost out of fear of fear.
I forgive myslef that I have allowed myself to keep on fearing my fears.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stand up right now and go tidy up my room.

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