Saturday 19 January 2008

Self-forgiveness

Did some self forgivenss on the computer. I started with computer and ended up with clothes.
I just folllowed my thoughts and intentions. for the people that do not know what self-forgivenss is, I strongly suggest watching these video's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGjxHHUv6mE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGjxHHUv6mE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNhfkz7Aa0Q


and visiting the Desteni website : http://www.desteni.co.za/ where there is alot of perspective given.

So here it goes :

I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become mad at the computer because he’s not doing what I want him to do.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that this computer was designed and enslaved by mankind for mankind and is as deep as me in this shit.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate myself from the computer.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I am one and equal with the computer.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to hate French because of my dad speaking French.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to link French to my dad because he speaks it.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge the French language because I linked it to my father.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to practise my French because I judged it and linked it to my father.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to dislike everything I can link to my father including me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to dislike myself because I am the daughter of my father.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define myself as “Leila Zamora Moreno” the daughter of “Raphael Zamora Moreno” my father.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to limit myself by defining myself as the daughter of my father.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate me from my father.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I am one and equal with and to my father.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define my father – Raphael – as my father.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that my father is more than just “my father”.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that my father is a living and breathing being just like me and everyone else.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define my father according to the past we have together.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to see past events when looking at my father.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to see and experience my father here, now in the moment of the breath.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to worry about what other people will think when I place my self forgiveness online, on my blog.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate myself from my blog.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I “own” this blog.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to be grateful for the blog.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to be grateful for the computer.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to say Thank You to the computer.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to appreciate every single thing this computer does for me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to take this computer and all the others for granted.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to separate me from the keyboard I’m currently writing on.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to experience every single touch on the keyboard buttons while I type. I’m sure it’s overwhelming.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to take this keyboard for granted.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become angry at the keyboard when it is my that is writing a typo.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to become angry towards myself because I wrote a typo.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself wanting to write correct because that’s the way it’s done.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to question “just the way it is done”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to follow the masses.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to question what is written and what is been told.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to keep my eyes shut.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to blame a lot of stuff on the mind.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that by blaming the mind I’m blaming myself.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to blame anything or anyone.
There is no blame. Only what we have allowed and accepted.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to search for answers.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to search and look for answers outside of me instead of realising that I am the answer, the answer lies within me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to take myself for granted.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am capable of nothing.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define myself according to my acts.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge myself according to my actions.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think for a moment that Sartre is an asshole.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think that all philosophers are assholes.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think that this entire world is one big asshole.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe my thoughts.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I am an asshole.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to do something about me being an asshole.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to treat other people as equals because I think they’re assholes.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to let my thoughts condemn people.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to limit my experience of other people because of my thoughts judging and condemning them to assholeness.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to experience people in their purest entirety.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to link the word “assholes” to people and especially too so called “friends”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to mind being friends with “assholes”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to fear the reaction within me when I notice the reaction of “non-assholic people” seeing me with “assholes”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to care about what anyone thinks about me and all other stuff.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that those “assholes” are actually showing me my assholeness within me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge the word asshole.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to find assholes dirty.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that everyone has an asshole and that we’re all equal assholes.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to find assholes dirty because that’s where your poo comes out.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to find poo dirty.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that this poo came from within me, and can only obtain stuff that I put in my mouth or stuff that was already on my body.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to find my human physical body one dirty poo factory.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge my body.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to be angry and frustrated about my body instead of being grateful for what it does for me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to take my body for granted.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define my body according to its picture presentation.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise what my human physical body actually is.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to know my own human physical body.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to abuse my human physical body.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to listen at my body.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that “human physical body” is much more exhausting to write than just “body”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge words according to there length.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to judge size.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to instantly link “size” to “size doesn’t matter” to “sex”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to link “size” with “sex”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to take my glasses for granted.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to be grateful for my glasses because they are supporting and assisting me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to link “glasses” to “nerds”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define people with glasses as nerds.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to label people as nerds.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define people according to their “intelligence”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that I know people just by looking at their clothes.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to define and limit my perception of people by the clothes they wear.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to find clothes “pretty” and “ugly”.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself judge clothes and the people that wear them.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to dislike people that are wearing the exact same clothes as me.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to feel guilty when I buy clothing that I know someone else has too.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to believe that when I buy clothes, no-one from the people I know are allowed to buy the same, because that is so not done.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to care about this kind of crap.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to buy clothes according to their looks instead of buying clothes that assist and support me no matter what they look like.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to care about what other people think about my clothes.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to find it stupid to write forgiveness on clothes.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think that talking or writing about clothes is stupid.
I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think that doing forgiveness on clothes is useless.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I don’t know what useless is.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I don’t know what beauty is.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I don’t know what life is.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I don’t know what love is.
I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to realise that I don’t know what ‘to be’ is.

3 comments:

Ann said...

Thats alot of forgiveness right there!! :D

Leila Zamora Moreno said...

I could go on aaaaalll day long lol

Marianne said...

Fuck Leila!! Amazing stuff. I got TONS of forgiveness now here right infront o me provided for free...lol
Amazing work!! Thanks for sharing this process with me, with us all!