SF using bible

Some Self Forgiveness i started doing by using the Bible - there is good self forgiveness material in the bible, trust me lol will post more when i have more

Here it goes
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the part where God wants to create humans to rule over the entire earth and all animals and plants, etc.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it was our purpose to rule over this earth and everything on it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that human beings are different from all other beings because somehow they have this special right that says they can rule the earth and all other beings on it - simply because we are humans
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question what human beings do on this earth because it was said in the bible that we are here to rule over the earth and everything on it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe everything that was being said in the bible because apparently everyone in my environment agreed that this was the “truth”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my belief of the bible being the truth as a justification of what I and all other human beings do on earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question what human beings do because I believed what was written in the bible and I believed: this is our purpose, so we can’t do anything wrong
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that human beings were made to do what they’re doing now, without questioning it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that human beings have the right to do whatever they want with earth and animals, because god created us to rule over them - so it must be ok.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the bible influence, control and program me to accept and allow what happens in this world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the bible as a justification of what is going on in this world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what is going on in this world is OK cause it is God’s will
I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to maybe consider that we are all responsible for what is happening in this world - but instead placed the responsibility in God and God can do nothing wrong
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that God can do nothing wrong
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that God is an evil bastard cause his “will” sucks bigtime.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge God for what is going on in this world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame god for the state of this world
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at god but at same time not take self responsibility cause it’s all God’s fault
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a kid blindly believe in the bible and god
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a kid take the bible and god as my truth of what is real
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the purpose of human beings is to rule the earth and mutliply as much as possible - because God said so in the Bible
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that all and everything must submit to human beings because god said so in the bible
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and define myself as being inferior to men because apparently God first created man and then created woman
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and define myself as being superior towards men if god would have had created a woman first
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to Gods “actions”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I as a woman/girl should be submissive towards men because God created man first.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because apparently God created man first, a man has more worth and value according to my mindI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fascinated by the tree of knowledge / the tree of good and bad.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am Eve and that I have to be punished for eating from the tree of knowledge and giving it to adam
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do that whichever I’m not allowed to do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be occupied and obsessed by “forbidden” things - only because it is forbidden
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to do the opposite of what people tell me to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it was bad that Eve ate from the apple
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as Eve for eating from the forbidden fruit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that eve as me should be judged
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that what eve did was WRONG
I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to question the creation story from the bible
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the creation story from the bible for granted.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and define myself as always having to owe something to men because Eve was created from Adam’s rib
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I owe man or anyone for that matter anything
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to behave as if I will always owe something to men
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as less than men
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is only natural that men are dominant - that it’s their right to be dominant and that women should be submissive because thats why women are here for - so that men wouldn’t be alone, a woman’s purpose being “man”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to believe that I am only here because men exist
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if there were no men there wouldn’t be need for women
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there must first be a “need” in order for something to be here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I owe my existence to men
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I should always be grateful towards men
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am here because men wanted a little helper (hulpje in dutch) / maidservant.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my purpose is to be maidservant for men
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I actually have a purpose
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise and live the realisation that I do not need a purpose to be here - I am here and that’s it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that knowledge can open ones eyes
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that knowledge is entirely useless if not applied
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as Eve to blame the snake for me as Eve eating from the apple
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe it is ok to put self responsibility in someone else cus thats what Eve did with the snake
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is only natural to blame another one that it is ok - cause thats what happens in the Adam and Eve story
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I as Eve deserve to experience pain while having periods because I as Eve gave the forbidden fruit to adam - so me as Eve deserves to be punished
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i should live for men because that is my punishment for giving the apple to adam
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let men rule over me because that is the punishment god gave me for giving adam the apple
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that women are to blame for the state of this existence
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is normal that a woman experiences massive pain in childbearing because that is the punishment God gave women because me as Eve gave apple to adam
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to let men rule over me because I accept this as the consequence of me as Eve giving the apple to Adam
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pity for Adam because I believe it is all my fault as Eve.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider “men ruling over women” as a fact - that this is the way it is - there cannot be done anything about it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and define “men ruling over women” as normal and the way it should be - cause that’s the way it’s been.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the anger that is coming from God - because it’s not really reasonable
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear angry beings because they don’t really know what they’re doing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear beings that are so angry that they go out of control
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare the God from the genesis story to my dad and fear him as I fear my dad
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear words that I perceive to be angry
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as Eve for “bringing forth a man with the help of god” because God had nothing to do with it - he even made sure the birth would be painful
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge me as Eve for blindly believing that God is Good
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as for for my/her ignorance
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as Adam, Eve, Cain and Abel for being stupid fucks and mongols cause they give in to their desires and their jealousy
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for giving in to desires
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for giving in to temptation
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself when doing something I shouldnt - while I should just correct myelf instead of judging myself and looping myself into a mindfuick
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to somewhat admire Cain’s freedom of being able to just kill someone without having to worry about the law and stuff like that
I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself wanting to kill one of my siblings.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get dragged into survival skills between me and my siblings
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself and my siblings out of “self” interest
I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to realise that what is best for me is best for all - “self” interest is not best for me and not ebst for all
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to my siblings and then judge myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to keep up with my siblings and if able - defeat them
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight for attention from my parents - wanting to be their one child that gets most attention
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with my siblings to have most attention of my parents
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be kind of jealous of Cain for being able to kill Abel - because i wouldn’t have the guts to do that - only in my head I would think about itI forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to embrace the killer in me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire wanting to kill someone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to kill someone to know how it feels like
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be curious about the experience of killing someone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wonder what it would feel like to kill someone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to know what it feels like to know u can kill a being in one second by slitting their throat
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be curious about the power ones could experience while being in the position of perfectly being able to a kill a person - just like that
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to experience the sensational power of killing someone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to experience the sensational power of taking someones life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to admire people that have the guts to actually kill someone
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to experience the release I perceive killers get the moment their victim dies
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that killing someone can generate a release that u cannot get by doing anything else
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that killing is cool cause it seems cool in movies lol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tune my perception of things according to movies, advertisment and media
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf wanting to know what it feels like to fire a gun
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to know what it feels like to shoot bullets through someones body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to experience the firign of a gun in my hand - through my entire body
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to believe that shooting a gun should also generate some release
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to gather lots of power and fill msyelf up with it till I almost explode - to then totally get out of control - just to experience some kind of release inside me
I forgive myself that I haven’ t accepted and allowed myself to realise that I actually don’t know what power is
But it makes me think of candyLol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be curious about the experience of sllitting someones throat and let the warm blood flow over my hands
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that killing is normal because it’s one of the first things that happens in the bible
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept “killing” as a part of my nature - it was done in the bible so it must be so right?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept everything blindly that has been written in the bible - if the bible says that, that is the way it is - then it must be so
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realise that the bible had a big fucking influence on me although me as my mind would like to deny that

SF: pain-alive

SF: pain-alive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about getting me periods while on the plane to SA.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain I might get during me periods while being on the plane to SA
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that the pains will be unbearable
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that by expecting, I am creating
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to to stop worrying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine in what kind of miserable state I could be arriving in SA.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect that I will have great pains
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself that I will be OK, I BREATHE THROUGH IT
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will have my periods on plane to SA
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to script having my periods on plane to sa with massive pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am a slave to pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a slave to pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I feel pain to remember that I am alive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain means alive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define life as pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life means pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that life means suffering
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is here to remember myself how precious life is
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is here to remember myself to the "value of life"
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is here to remember myself to not take life for granted
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire getting sick or experience pain when I perceived my life to be boring
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish getting sick because I believed my life was boring and I had nothing to do and I believed that getting sick might "spice" things up a bit
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret my wish of getting sick when I actually got sick, shortly after pondering about wanting to get sick - lol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allwoed myself to believe that pain is here to make me aware of the moment
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need pain to be aware of the moment
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is here to make me aware that I am HERE
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need pain to make me aware that I am HERE
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when feeling extensive pain to just Be pain and nothing else and surender myself to the pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bow down to pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept pain as something greater than me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is nothing I can do about pain but do nothing and wait
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain as "unlimited" grip over me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is something bigger than me
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am nothing towards pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am nothing compared to pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is immense and overwhelming and that I just have to experience it and that there is nothing I can do but experience this pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inferior to pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is superior to me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to picture this image of me being all little and pain being this immense huge demon, on fire, burning
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is unstoppable
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the role of slave to pain because apparently this is the only thing I can do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never be able to "start something against" pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to completely surrender myself to pain and just do nothing and have pity with myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use pain as a justification for not taking self responsibility
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take all and everything as justification for not taking self responsibility
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is actually able to limit me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to let pain limit me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain in itself can limit me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide behind pain so I apparently do not have to take self responsibility
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that when being in pain - it is impossible to take self responsibility
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there are "cases" when you cannot possibly take self responsibility
what bullshit crap lol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that not taking self responsibility because of pain is actually a good excuse
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as "good excuses"
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as "bad excuses"
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that an excuse is an excuse, and an apparent "good" excuse doesnt make things suddenly seem OK
All excuses are worthless dishonest shit anyway
ALL EXCUSES ARE CRAP
got that Leila lol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain and life go hand by hand
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there can only be life if there is pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that feeling pain means being alive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that experiencing pain implies "being alive"
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a slave to pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be "grateful" for pain because it apparently remembers me how it feels to be alive
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the almost constant experience pain within me - without questioning it - believing it is a part of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define pain as a part of "who I am"
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is a part of "who I am"
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that pain is but an illusion
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is real
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I deserve pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should experience pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is only natural to experience pain
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make pain real
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is here to make me remember I am here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pain is here to confirm my existence
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need pain to confirm that I am here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need anything or anyone to confirm that I actually exist
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need anything or anyone to confirm that I am actually HERE
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am totally dependent on all things outside of myself to confirm to me that I indeed actually exist
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am totally dependent on all things outside of myself to confirm to me that I am indeed HERE
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I do not need confirmation from anything or anyone outside of myself - I am here - and that's it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for confirmation outside of myself to confirm and validate my existence
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if something or someone outside of myself doesnt confirm I exist, or I am here, I am not here, I do not exist
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that it is bullshit to expect from others to confirm my existence - i am here - I cut this crap

SF : HOPE

HOPE

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that hope is the manifested design inside human beings, inside me, to not act en take responsibility for my own world, my own reality

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I alone am responsible for my own world, for my own experience of my world, that I am responsible for myself

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that 'hope' is an illusion, an idea, a belief

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that hope manifests the creation of a "superior source" separate from myself, because I haven't accepted and allowed myself to take self responsibility for myself, to act and stand up for myself

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I indeed am alone and always will be, and there is only me to take self responsibility for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope, and withing participating in hope, give my power away to some "separate source" outside of myself, just sitting and waiting for stuff to move - instead of me moving me, me directing me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that some "separate source" outside of myself will take care of me and support me, and do for me what I am apparently unable to do for myself

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that 'hope' is the illusion of 'support' - me placing support, faith and trust in an "outside superior source", in anything BUT myself.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that hope destroys me

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself that hope destroys everything of me because I just sit and hope

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that as long as hope exists within and as me - I will not take full self responsibility for me and my world

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that if I require anything to actually happen in my world, I have to stand up and direct MYSELF because nothing else will support me.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stop waiting and stand up and take self responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'hope'

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that hope is of waiting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait instead of act and take self responsibility for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my responsibility of self in 'hope'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that hoping might sort things out for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait instead of taking responsibility for myself, acting, and standing up in creating and manifesting my own world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed 'uncertainty' to dictate who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have 'fear of taking responsibility for myself' dictate who I am

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give 'hope' power over me instead of me taking my own power and standing up and taking responsibility for myself in directing my own world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear directing my own world through 'fear of failure', through 'fear of making a mistake' - and therefore, rather place my 'trsut ad faith' in 'hope and waiting' than rather actually standing up and oing to for myself as myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a mistake, and instead of actually standing up, directing myself, manifesting and creating my own world - I 'hope'

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself by placing 'hope' in something separate than me than actually acting and standing up and taking self responsibility for me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself before I've even started - and therefore, instead of just starting, acting, standing up, directing my own world, I'd sit back, 'wait' and 'hope'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge in the act of 'waiting'

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to in every moment stand up and take responsibility and direct my own world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to 'give up' before i have even started, through 'fear of failure', through 'fear of making a mistake' - and in that, rather sitting back hoping and waiting - thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of walking through the 'wanting to give up', walking through the 'fear of making a mistake or failure', that I had allowed myself to indulge in 'hope' and 'waiting'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the illusion of 'hope'

I forgive myself that I haven't accetped and allowed myself to trust myself - instead of trusting myself, i placed my self trust in a 'superior source' separate from me

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that if I do not stand up, direct myself, and direct my world; NOTHING will happen and I will wait for the reminder of my life

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that there exists nothing outside me separate of me, and that I have placed my 'hope' into that which DOES NOT EVEN EXIST

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trap myself in the belief of 'hope'

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I have to direct myself, i have to stand up within myself asmyself, that I have to take responsibility for me and stand up withing me as me and direct my world because there is no one else that will do it for me

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to question 'hope'

SF birth Chart Pt. I

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed according to the sign “Libra”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to my astrological sign, being Libra

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be programmed according to positions of the stars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to know my preprogrammed life so I could make sure I would walk it perfectly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to give in to my preprogrammed life, not wanting to take self responsibility

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that pre programmed lives are great, cause then I have no self responsibility

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself while studying astrology, to consider self direction, no I was too busy figuring out the way I should live according to the starts, as less responsibility as possible thank you please

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to shove my self responsibility unto the stars

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is cool to have a preprogrammed life, cause then there’s nothing “wrong” you can do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for ever being so blind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to approve of society’s values

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to be level-headed and to assimilate quickly
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a great need to be part of a group.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to have a great need to be part of a group

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to blame the program for this is while I accepted and allowed it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like to mix with people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like having friends from about everywhere lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for partnerships

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for friends and create friendships because maybe, who knows, THIS person can help me get a PARTNER

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse and manipulate other beings for my own “self” interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like and respect justice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to like and respect justice

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do self forgiveness on things that my mind defines as being useless as I dont recognize myself in this
Whatever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “wtf” when reading that not thinking enough is a weakness lol

I forgive myself that I havea ccepted and allowed myself to be programmed to be frivolous

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed as a “dilettante in love”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to be easily swayed by group pressure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be easily swayed by group pressure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that group pressure is directing me while I direct me always, sometimes by the mind, but hey, it’s always MY SELF RESPONSIBILITY

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do things I do not even want to do but do it because else everyone might laugh at me and I fear the experience of me when people are laughing at me

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand up for myself and say NO to a group.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I am inferior towards a group of people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should do whatever the majority says I have to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being humiliated infront of a group because I fear the experience of me while being humiliated infront of a group

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand up for myself to a group but never did because of fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that “fear” is an acceptable excuse


NOT




I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to want to work in the medical environment and progress

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to not have much social ambition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to characterized by me not having much social ambition

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use “I dont have much social ambition” as an excuse to not have to interact with people when i’m actually just scared of people

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people because I do not know how they might react/respond to me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dislike surprises

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want everything under control - MY control

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy and like public life for the wrong reasons/startingpoints

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like public life so I can feel accepted and appreciated, so that everyone may see that I am accepted and appreciated so they better do the same hahaha

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to have lots of vitality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make attempts to make myself more popular cus that seemed like the thing to do at school

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk crap so I would be popular

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create different personality suites that I could wear so I would be able to get along with as much people as possible, so I could feel like I was accepted and appreciated, so that I could fool myself and tell myself: look how many friends you have, see, now you’re “happy”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to get along with my parents

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to be intelligent

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being “intelligent”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself present myself as being the “intelligent one”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a sponge that sucks up as much information and knowledge possible, to then not do anything with it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to like moving and travelling

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to enjoy literature

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed as being gay

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed as being sociable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed as being welcoming

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to be a lover

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to have many affairs

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to be seduced by beauty and charm

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let “beauty” and “charm” affect and influence me

Birth Chart

Birth Chart generated from http://www.astro-software.com/

: http://astro-software.com/cgi-bin/astro/page01?name=Leila&firstname=&birthplace=Brussels&lang=en&sex=f&dformat=1&date=13/10/1990&time=18:0&country=32&state=0&adjust=-1.00&long=-4.20&lat=50.50

Ok now I do SF on this shit lol

SF horse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the horse might bite my hand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do self forgiveness from the startingpoint of fear

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to touch the horse and hug it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be scared of horses because they are a big mass of mega strong muscles

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define a horse as an animal that might maybe possibly hurt me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the horse is so stupid that it does not know the difference between grass and my hand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the horse doesn't know the difference between the grass and my hand

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate massive fear once I noticed the horse's head being right next to mine

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate massive fear once I noticed the horse's head being right infront of me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pain that I could maybe possibly experience if maybe the horse would bite me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shut myself from the horse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be "scared" and "intimidated" by the intimacy that the horse seemed to shine out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be intimidated by the idea of experiencing intimacy with another being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start fearing the horse because it was as if the horse could see right through me and knew me all the way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impressed by the horse - just standing there all day doing "nothing" telling myself that I would never be able to do such a thing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the horse is superior to me because I believe that I cannot do what a horse can do

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am one and equal with the horse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to be able to talk to the horse

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to listen to animals because I was too afraid of what I may or may not hear

sf : sf from startingpoint of fear/anxiety/judgement

I I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to do self forgiveness from the startingpoint of anxiety/fear/judgement.

I forgive myself that I havent accepted and allowed myself to realise that by applying self forgiveness from the startingpoint of anxiety/fear/judgement I am actually feeding this construct and not releasing

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that sometimes it is best to just STOP and BREATHE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go in fear and judgement whenever I experience a massive reaction that I believe I cannot contain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my mind as feelings and emotions and reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what the mind is able to do with me if only I accept and allow it to happen

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the reacions, emotions and feelings the mind can generate.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear massive emotions, reactions and feelings because I believe that I cannot hanle this sort of emotions, feelings and reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go in a state of fear and anxiety whenever I notice a big reaction, emotion, feeling boiling up inside me because I fear I cannot handle it and be stuck with it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the mind as the enemy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, perceive and believe the mind to be a fearful enemy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should fear the mind because I can fuick withmyself through the mind by participating within and as the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, perceive and believe the mind to be too vast for me , too much to handle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never get rid of the mind because it is too massive

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear the experience of me when the mind generates heavy emotions, feelings and reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in constant fear of the mind, afraid that it might generate a heavy emotion, reaction, feeling at any moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear heavy, vast emotions, reactions, feelings because I fear that the mind will direct, influence and control me once experiencing heavy emotions, feelings, reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the abilities of the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will lose my stability within and as the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can get lost within and as the mind

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I will never stop standing up to the mind, that I will never give up on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will give up on myself, as in applying myself actively in process once heavy feelings, emotions and reactions kick in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might give up on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the possibility of me giving up on myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the possibility of me giving up on myself once heavy feelings, emotions, reactions start kicking in

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being crushed by the mind

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind can crush me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give permission to the mind to crush me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crush myself by participating within and as the mind, giving it permission, allowing and accepting the mind to do whatever it pleases to do with me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the mind wants to kill me hahaahahahahaha

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear me killing me by participation within and as the mind

note to self

Toxni - the 'wearing out' is experienced when you're 'wanting to move fast and do as much as possible' - within which your experience is that of 'doing' and not self expression within and as that which you apply. What then will manifest is that your application becomes a construct/system - instead of you actually assisting and supporting you through the expression of you within and as self forgiveness and self corrective application for example. Therefore - take it 'slow', meaning assist and support you here in and as natural breathing, when you see points come up - you direct yourself within it in the moment What I have experienced for example, is that one tend to go into anxiety and fear / judgment when you see the points of for instance thoughts/reactions come up within you - then your starting point is that of anxiety/fear/judgment and when you accept/allow you to apply yourself within such a starting point - you feed the constructs instead of assisting and supporting you here And when you go into anxiety/fear/judgment, it's like a 'urge' that comes up as a 'rush' that makes you think you have to 'do as much as possible as fast/quickly as possible' - and in this, you 'miss you here' and actually 'go into the mind' So whenever you experience an 'urge to want to move faster' - stop - take a deep breath, release the energetic charge of the 'rush' and breathe naturally here What I realised within this, is that the fear/judgment/anxiety was actually towards the thoughts/reactions in itself - that I developed a fear/judgment/anxiety towards/of the mind and all it consist of and if your starting point within self application/expression is of judgment/fear/anxiety towards the mind - self forgiveness/self application is useless, because it's not a self expression within and as which I assist and support me here So Toxni - realise that the mind isn't the 'enemy' - the mind actually assist and support you within this process of self realisation here in revealing you/showing you all that you have separated you from, to within this - amalgamate you with you here

sf anxiety related to relationship construct and visa versa

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep over 6 hoursI forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sleep for 9 hours or a bit less

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to bring up the self discipline that I require to get out of bed after 4-6 hous of sleep

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go sleep early cause I was tired of feeling this anxiety and wanted a break

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I needed a break

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this anxiety is unbearable

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to wake up after 6 hours and get my day started immediatly

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think when I wake up "fuck I'm still here"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think when I wake up "fuck the anxiety is still here"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go back to sleep when I first woke up because I believed I was not yet ready to experience myself this way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sleep as a hideout where I do not have to experience myself (as anxiety)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to run away from me as anxiety by going to sleep and sleeping for long.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is nothing worth waking up for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not worth to wake up for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not wanting to wake up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put all my focus and attention on the anxiety I am experiencing from the moment I wake up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sleeping might make the anxiety go away

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, desire and hope for a relationship in which I can hide from myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that everything would be better once I have relationship - altough I know its BS

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to let go of the idea of being in a relationship because I know it won't assist me anyway whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to check out guys when walking in the city, guys that my radar says "potential boyfriend"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to first of all see guys as potential boyfrends instead of individual beings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my experience of guys by defining them as potential boyfriends.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep falling for the same kind of guys - I'm so predictable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start liking guys once they say they like me because now I really have a chance and this one is a potential one

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start liking a guy only once he said he likes me but before had no interest at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start controlling and managing my own behaviour once I know someone likes me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be completely stunned whenever someone says they like me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible to like me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is nothing that i have or am to like me for

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that guys that like me must be stupid - I mean, liking me? wtf lol

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to just go for a walk in the city or go get something in the city - no it always turns out to be a mindmanhunt

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a crush on guys just because their picture presentation fits the idea/definition that I have inside my mind as how the perfect boyfriend would look like

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a crush on guys just because of their picture presentation and nothing else

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit my experience of guys already from the first time I meet them because I immediatly define them according to their picture presentation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give someones picture presentation more value than who they actually really are

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can know what kind of person someone is by looking at their picture presentation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my experience of participation with other people by their picture presentation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes not listen when someone is talking to me but just admire their picture presentation not listening at their words at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stare and observe people and absorb their picture presentation within me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to care about my picture presentation because I know I judge other people by their picture presentation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people are their picture presentation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am my picture presentation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that someones picture presentation is a part of their self expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my picture presentation is a part of my self expression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my picture presentation is a part of "who I am"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that people their picture presentation is part of "who they are"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i AM

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am undefined

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that living for another is easier than living for self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define living for another as easier than living for self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is impossible to live for myself because I am not worth of living for myself

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to buy into these stupid self pity thoughts

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that 'love' is the greatest, biggest, most extensive illusion that exists in this world

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that love only exists to form relationship connections between systems so they are able to function properly and being able to exist and I DO NOT ALLOW MYSELF TO SUPPORT SYSTEMS

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search and seek for 'love' outside of myself once I believe and define myself as not being able to function alone anymore

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I search, seek, want, need, desire and hope for 'love' to keep another system with me because I can apparantly not function without that system to be able to exist as a system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utter the word 'love'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe or perceive that I require to be in a "relationship" to be able to exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe or perceive that I require to be in a "relationship" in order to experience myself fully

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that I require to be in a "relationship" in order to enjoy myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to speak 'system language' by daring to utter the word 'love'.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe in the illusion that 'love' really, actually exists

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that love is BUT an illusion that I make real through participation and allowing and accepting it within and as me

I do not accept and allow myself to participate in system love
if a thought comes up I STOP

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself in believing that 'love' exists

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberatly deceive myself by believing in love while I know it does not exist but I like to pretend it does like that I dont have to sort myself out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself in believing that I require a "relationship" in this world.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I stand alone as all as one

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that in uttering the word love- I in that moment, am saying that I am a system that requires another system's needs, another systems wants, another system's desires, another system to form a "connection" as a "relationship" to be able to exist in this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lust "love"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire "love" because I haven't accepted and allowed myself to accept myself alone as just me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being alone

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am not one and equal with the person I desire a relationship with, but separate as a system who wants to have a "relationship" as a connection to form "love" because I cannot apparantly exist alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the being(s) I have a crush on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to stand alone

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realize that I actually fear standng alone, and instead of facing that fear I'd rather form a "relationship" with something separate from me and call it "love"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a thing such as love as I perceived it and believed it to be could possibly exist in world like this, unless it is actually as fuicked as this world..

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that only systems fear being alone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let the illusion of love, the posibility of the illusion of love, control, direct and inlfuence me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be tempted to fall into the relationship trap because it all seems so nice and pretty

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed msyelf to realise that love is fuicked in every way whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even consider relationships

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to stop whenever my mind wants to wander of into love and relationship crap

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stop feeding those love, relationship crap systems by just stop thinking and participating in it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that by writing this out in self forgiveness I might stop thinking about it

i forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that doing self forgiveness and doing the actual corrective application are two different things

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to take the corrective application for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep on tricking and deceiving myself by keep on thinking of relationship and love and beings I am apparantly attracted to because I want to test myself if I still react and yes I do so just fuicking stop it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for a being to be in a relationship with that resembles my father

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for a being to be in a relationship witht aht is the opposite of my father

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to have a relationship with a being that resembles my father

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to have a relationship with a being that is the opposite of my father

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as being disgusting for accepting and allowing such a program

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted with the idea of being in a relationship with someone like my dad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be disgusted by the idea of being as stupid as my mom by getting in a relationship with a being that resembles my father

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mother for marrying a guy like my dad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself because I would have probably done the same thing as I am programmed to

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge beings for following and walking their preprogrammed path

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for following and walking my preprogrammed path

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for love in a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for comfort in a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for "the one" in a relationship while I am the one for me lol

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for a soulmate in a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for a "connection" in a relationship

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search for the feeling of "being loved" in a relationship because I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to love myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, and desire, hope for a relationship to feel like "being appreciated" because I have not yet being able to appreciate me

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, desire and hope for a relationship to feel "accepted" by another because I have not yet allowed myself to fully accept myself unconditionally

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, desire, hope for a relationship because I believe that I can only experience and feel comfort while being locked in a relationship with another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, desire, hope for a relationship because I believe that I can only experience security while being locked in a relationship with another

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to define having a relationship as having and experiencing comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a relationship as having and experiencing security

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, desire, hope for a relationship because I belief that i can only experience safety in and as being locked inside a relationship with another

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a relationship as having and experiencing safety

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want, need, desire, want, need a relationship because I believe that I can only experience protection while being locked within a relationship with another being

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to deifne having a relationship as having and experiencing protection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need a relationship to experience comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seperate myself from comfort

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to believe that I need a relationship to "feel loved"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from love

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need a relationship to feel appreciated

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot possibly appreciate myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate msyelf from appreciation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot possibly comfort my own self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to believe that I cannot possibly love my self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need a relationship to experience acceptance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from acceptance

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot possibly accept myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need a relationship to experience security

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from security

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot possibly provide myself security because I apparently do not trust msyelf enough for that

I forgive msyelf that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need a relationship to experience safety

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from safety

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I cannot possibly experience safety on my own because I perceive/perceive msyelf to not have enough self trust for that

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to believe that I need a relationship to experience protection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate msyelf from protection

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to believe that I cannot possibly provide my own protection or protect me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need protection against anything or anyone. there is nothing to lose anyway

I forgive msyelf that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am able to comfort me, protect me, accept me, appreciate me, secure me, etc.

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to get into a relationship because I haven't accepted and allowed msyelf to accept myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to get into a relationship because everyone else in my world has got "relationships" so i HAVE to get into a "relationship" as well ( I first wrote "religionship" instead of "relationship" at end of this line, interesting typo lol )

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf wanting to go into a "relationship" to "break my virginity" to be accepted by all my toher "friends" who have already had sex and have lost their virginity

i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to get in to a "relationship" to be "loved" instead of ME loving and accepting ME , MYSELF as "who I am"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed mysef to be entranced and hypnotized by a picture presentation of a human being, in the moment that I saw this being I "had butterflies in my stomach" and my "knees went all weak" and I "could barely stand straight"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to be trapped by emotions and feelings


more to come...

SF on Anxiety Pt. I

anxiety part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about the future
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself with what is here in the momoment instead of being petrified by the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to survive in the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what "the future will bring".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit myself to the future letting it direct me instead of taking self responsibility and be self directive.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the cosy safe bubble that is home is going to explode and that I'll have no where to go.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to wait and see while anxiety is eating me up from the inside.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that the anxiety will disappear by doing self forgiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to supress the feeling of anxiety that I'm experiencing by smokings loads of cigarettes.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only make things worse by smoking cigs from the starting point of supression.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to hide and escape from the future , i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to escape from myself, wanting to escape from process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will need to get a job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the idea of getting a job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link anxiety, fear and nervousness to the word job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go in a state of total anxiety whenever I think about getting a job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will have to do a crappy job that'll boost my mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that a job can boost my mind - it only will if I let it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start becoming depressed because of this continouse state of anxiety.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to let go of anxiety.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in a state of panic whenever I start thinking and wondering about the future - meaning getting a job, earn money and get out of parents house somehow.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to fear that I will not be able to get a job, make money, and sustain myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and wait for earth changes so i wouldn't need to worry about money and shit like that
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and believe that I will not be able to get a job cause I never worked before and my resume looks like shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will never be able to get a job no matter what.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will die if I do not get a job, earn money and get out of my parents house.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to fear anxiety
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to totally hate the feeling and experience of anxiety in the solar plexus
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kill myself slowly but surely by participating in anxiety, by participating in the things that cause anxiety such as fear and worry of the future and fear of death fear of death of the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuck up my experience of myself in the moment by fucking thinking and worrying about the future all the time.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself to know what is causing this anxiety but instead wanted to follow the mind interpretation that didnt made much sense as well.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be living in constant fear and anxiety in the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience now what I think, believe and fear will happen to me in the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to believe that getting a job means living in constant anxiety and fear/
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that earning money means living in constant anxiety and fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define having a job as living in continous and total anxiety and fear.
i forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define earning money as in living in continous and total anxiety and fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will be living in total fear, anxiety and petrification as long as I need to get a job and earn money, as long as the money system is there.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be conquered by the mind as in feelings and emotions such as fear, anxiety and petrification, instead of standing up.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that living in this world as an adult means linving in continuous fear anxiety and petrification only being focused on money and surviving.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let this anxiety fear and petrification compound until I can't stand it anymore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry with myself for accepting and allowing this to happen.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fucking pissed at myself for ever having allowed and accepted this shit to manifest inside me and let it suck me dry.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I will not find a way to sustain and support myself by earning money and having a job that I enjoy doing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will enver find something that I thoroughly enjoy doing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not be able to enjoy myself in the future as in having a job and earn money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and fear the future as in worrying and fearing that I will not find a place to live.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and fear stuff that doesnt really matter at the moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to distract myself from this anxiety and fear so i would not have to face it yet and create another fucking timeloop.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about other people their futures.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting and tempting to compromise myself in order to make other people their futures more "comfortable"
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am not responsible for anyone's future but my own.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be dragged along by worries of the future that other people express.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose my stableness when expressing their concerns and worries, fears of the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to question and doubt my own future when hearing other people talk about it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need to prepare myself somehow towards my future and live for my future and worry about it so I am now apparantly "preparing" myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that worrying and fearing to future is normal and OK to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to know now already that I am in control of my future which means from mind perspective that I want to have a plan and stick to it no matter what.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to know what my path is so i can walk it without any faults.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist walking into the unknown and wanting to make sure what I will be doing so i feel more "safe".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need a plan and that I need to stick to it no matter what
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown.
I forgvie myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the unknown should be feared.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be programmed to fear the unknown.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to follow my pre pregrammed path - at least its a bit predictable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to be in control of my future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must and need to be in control of the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear other peoples possible futures as my future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to fix other people their future while I actually just want to fix mine.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to compromise myself in order to "help" others - not doing what is best for all as one as equal.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry about other people their lives not realising that its their lives not mine.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is hard to not care about other people their future
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through living in anxiety by worrying about other people which is a projection of my own worries.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and fear that I will have to do crappy jobs with "crappy" people, bosses around me making me feel like shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will feel like shit once I get a job and earn money because I apparently now have a system life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will feel like shit when having a job because I can't stand myself when I feel like shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to supress my fears concerning my future and letting it compound.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret that I've let this shit compound cause now I feel like shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might have to do a physically heavy job that I will not be able to do because of not being strong enough.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will get totally demotivated once I get a job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create all sorts of ideas and perceptions about having a job.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will lose all motivation while working and that I will be depressed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I am able to do to myself when being depressed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I might be getting depressed.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am fine and that I will always be fine no matter what.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am fine, I have always been fine and will always be fine.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in and as the mind as feelings and emotions such as anxiety fear and petrification
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stand up within myself and realise: I am not this anxiety.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stand up within myself and realise: I am not this anxiety.
I forgive myself that I haven't accetped and allowed myself to stand up within myself and realise: I am not this anxiety.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stand up within myself and realise: I am not this anxiety.
I am not my mind, I am not anxiety, anxiety is not who I am.
I do not accept and allow myself to be consumed by anxiety.
I do not accept and allow myself to let anxiety 'conquer' me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the idea of having to take care of myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I take care of myself no matter what and I do not accept and allow to give up on myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the pressure from home concerning getting a job or go study.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will not know what to do with myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that at some point in the future I will not enjoy myself anymore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that things will get worse.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not wanting to be of this system world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to escape from system world by going to live in a forest.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to give up because this fucking anxiety is still there. I mean here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear and believe that I will never get this anxiety out.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see, percieve and belief that anxiety is too big for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live within and as anxiety my entire life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that the anxiety might just disappear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to secretly hope that someone else can maybe help me to get rid of this anxety while I know it's upto me if I am to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give this anxiety all my focus and attention.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and wonder what the fuck I'll be doing once process is over.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that it has always just been this anxiety of the mind consciousness system that has been here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect this anxiety through my allowance to other separate lanifestations and sources from me.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to let go of anxiety.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to just stop
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this anxiety will only stop and go away once I have found a "purpose in my life"
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seek for something outside and separate from myself for which I can live.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to live unconditionally for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear myself as the unknown as that which is yet to be discovered.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear me as in what I do and what I don't d , what I will do and what I not might do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed my mind with what-ifs
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed and grow fear isnside me by thinking, wondering, fearing what might possibly happen some day, moment in the future
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe, perceive I am able to fear that which I don't know, as the mind, not realising that it only creates separation of realzing myself here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think believe perceive that I am fearing the future while obviously I am experiencing this anxiety here now and not somewhere in the future.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear Dad his behaviour once I get back from SA
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear mom and dad their reactions once hey get home.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will still feel like this on the plane to SA, fearing that I will get sick and puke.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will still feel like this when Tala comes because I fear taht I will not enjoy myself at all and that he'll just be here for nothing lol
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kill myself slowly but surely with all the what if might possibly happen shit.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the future not realising that I only exist here as the breath in every moment here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dear seeing what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for what I think I have become through acceptance and allowances.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that once I realise the entirety of what I have accepted and allowed myself to become that I will jsut hate myself and do nothing else.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for all that I have accepted and allowed in my life, existence
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the things that I have accepted and allowed
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate myself for accepting and allowing the mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to start imagining about job interviews.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to eat because of anxiety wanting to make me puke everything right back out again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to eat when experiencing anxiety because I fear I might puke.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I will not enjoy Tala being here
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish tala didnt come over
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that we will not enjoy ourselves while being here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel pity for myself
I do not accept and allow myself to feel pity for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bored with my life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish I could just cease to exist.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bored with myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to do something practically.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to move me.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to direct myself out of my pool of self pity.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not able to face myself because I have defined it as being "too much to handle"
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to run away from myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can run away from myself
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I cannot hide from myself because self is here as who I am, always
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to stop trying to run away and hide from myself
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I am always with me as me as who I am here.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise myself as self courage to take the self responsibility to face the truth of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look for courage outside of myself.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise myself as self courage as the courage to live.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a person with no courage
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a person that isn't brave
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to have the guts to be courageous and live my life for me and not for something or someone outside of myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope that someone would come and tell me that it's ok and that there is nothing to fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and desire that someone else could give me courage.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that only I can give myself to gift of courage
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire want and need someone to come and comfort me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope, desire, want and need understanding from someone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope, desire, want and need someone to be here with me
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to trust myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely and trust on other people to confirm my own understanding of self
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in the presence of beings that are understanding, my process will be easier
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the pit of self pity because of self judgement of me because of fear of the truth as me as what I have been, become and am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to inflict myself a wound of self pity and then want, need, desire someone else to heal it, to come and fix it for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deem msyelf as a bad and terrible person and that i cannot handle the truth of me.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to take self responsibility.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that no one can judge me, but myself, me.
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I alone can judge me, I create the experience of me, I alone must STOP
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope, want and desire, need to receive consolidation from another
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting someone one else to take responsibility for me
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to do this or myself
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that if I dont take this step for me i will never understand what it means to take self responsibility for self
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wait and hope for another to comfort me - this aint going to happen
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the cycle of allowing fear of me, self judgment, self pity
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep on feel pity for myself as in an addication
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed msyelf to feel pity for myself and in and as self pity manipulate others around me.
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to release the addiction to the acceptance of self pity
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to stop self pity within and as me;
I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed self pity within and as me
I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to let self pity become a part of me, become a part of my very nature
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that I make this anxiety 'real' while its actually an illusion
I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that anxiety is only an illusion that I make real
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that self pity is only an illusion, that I, myself make real
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that self judgement is only an illusion, that I, myself make "real"
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that fear of self is but only and illusion, that I, myself make "real"make it experience as real
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to self pity, self judgement, fear of self
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as who I am as endless cycles of self judgement, fear of self, self pity
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that illusion isnt real
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let self pity, self judgement and fear of self be ME as "who I am"
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I deserve what I am experiencing because of what I have done, all that I have accepted and allowed myself to be
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I deserve this experience of me and that I need to be punished for all that I have accepted and allowed by living in constant anxiety
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into the trap of the illusion wich I experience as being me, as being who I am
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to only illusions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the illusion of anxiety real by accepting it, allowing it and participating within and as it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the illusion of self pity real by accepting, allowing it and participating within and as it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the illusion of self judgement real by accepting, allowing it and participating within and as it, defining myself according to the experience of self judgement
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the illusion of fear of self real by accepting, allow it and participating within and as it
NO FUCKING MOREI DO NOT ACCEPT AND ALLOW MYSELF TO DEFINE MYSELF ACCORDING TO ILLUSION THAT I USE TO DEFINE MYSELF ACCORDINGI AM NOT SELF PITYI AM NOT ANXIETYI AM NOT SELF JUDGEMENTI AM NOT FEAR OF SELFI AM NOT A FUKCING ILLUSION
I accept myself as self forgivenes as a statement of me as me to not accept and allow to participate in illusion
I distinguish for myself what is illusion and from here I stand up within me and just not make a part of me by participating in it
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to almost want to just not stop the illusion once I am aware of it, do not want to stop in and in some way "turn a blind" aye as though I did not see it while I clearly did - not taking self responsibility
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself wanting to let moments where I participate in an illusion just let pass by and allow it because I perceive this to be easier than actually taking self responsibility
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am able to lose myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am able to lose myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can lose myself when I drop the illusion because I defined myself according to the illusion
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear death because I fear losing me as that which I defined myself to be according to the mind, according to illusions
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that death will cause me to stop existing because death means the death of the mind, the illusion as that which I defined myself accordingly
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise and understand that I cannot actually lose me - I am always with me - myself here
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to to push and force me to whatever lenghts necessary in every moment to not accept and or allow the illusion within and as me
I move me no matter whatI direct myself no matter whatI force myself no matter whatI take self responsibility no matter whatI push myself no matter whatI give myself the freedom of directing myselfI direct myself no matter whatI stop the mind no matter what
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put my focus/attenion on the anxiety experience within me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to strain within myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the uncertainty of whether my application is effective enough
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist applying myself "because of this"
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to do this process for me and for me alone
I forgive myself that I have acepted and allowed myself to worry about other people "thoughts and their minds".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give worth, value and importance to other people their thoughts and their minds
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise that other people and "their thoughts and mind" are completely irrelevant.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be pre-occupied within and as my mind about what could/might possibly occuring within other human beings their minds
I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to realise this is a stupid mindfuck and just STOP it