Friday, 28 September 2012

Day 64: Holding on to Myself

This Blog is a continuation to:
Day 62: There Must be Something Wrong!
Day 63: Keeping the Wheels Turning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not experiencing anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having an energy experience to guide me / tell me what to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be embalmed within some form of energy experience as feeling/emotion/thought in order to ‘make sense’ of my reality without seeing and realising that within the very moment I trust feelings/thoughts/emotions to ‘make sense’ of my reality I am in fact exercising judgment within interpreting what is happening inside me and outside of me as my environment and within that thus actually ‘make something up’ instead of directly seeing how things operate/function

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being here without any thoughts/feelings/emotions as that is all that I have ever known / trusted – and so I fear stepping out of comfort zone as energy and step into the unknown/undiscovered within fear of losing myself as energy as personality as ‘who I believe myself to be’ – without seeing/realising/understanding that ‘who I am’ as emotions/feelings/thoughts is merely the product/result of the accumulation of the past as memories and as such does not ‘mean’ anything or does not have any particular ‘value’ – because if my past was different my memories would have been different and as such my thoughts/feelings/emotions and so my personality/Identity as ‘who I believe myself to be’ would be completely different – and so there is no point holding on to self as identify as it is merely brought about by coincidence and is in no way absolute, stable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of identity/personality as ‘individuality’ within the belief that I will be ‘lost’ and ‘not know what to do’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that within holding on to identity/personality my behaviour/actions/conduct will always be limited to serve and preserve my self-interest as the continued existence of my Character as ‘who I believe myself to be’ – and will thus never take the step/make the decision to look beyond my own limited existence as a Character and thus not move myself to change my actions/behaviour/conduct to facilitate a world/existence that is best for all

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that as long as I am here living within the starting point of preserving myself as a Character I will never stand up for what is Real – and since I have already seen that my character is simply the conglomeration of memories as past experiences which together form a body as personality which is completely random and determined by where you were born and what social/political/cultural/economic environment one was born into – it has no specific value and might as well be given up as it will never stand the test of time


When and as I see myself going into fear when seeing that I am not experiencing anything as energy as thought/feeling or emotion – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I do not require such energy to exist and that these points are merely in place to ensure my continued survival as a limited Character which will never look beyond itself – and so I commit myself stop the fear, ground myself within and as Breath, letting the fear flow out – and allow myself to look at what is actually relevant and acting accordingly instead of trusting/being dependent on energy as experience as emotions/feelings/thoughts to tell me what to do

When and as I see myself being ‘wobbly’ and ‘unstable’ within seeing that I am not experiencing anything and believing that I need to experience something to tell me what to do – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that any experience of the mind as energy as thoughts/feelings and emotions are always limited to what has been before as the past as where they originate from – and so if I allow myself to determine my direction and movement by energy as thoughts/feelings and emotions I will never grow and expand myself but only further lock/encage myself within my already limited existence as energy – and so I commit myself to let go of this fear and ground myself within and as my human physical body within breath and to trust myself to behave myself according to principle as what is Best for All Life instead of energy s what is Best for My Character only

When and as I see myself not experiencing anything in particular and believing that I must quickly find something to experience within the believe that I require experience as energy as thoughts/feelings and emotions to ‘make sense’ of my reality – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that ‘making sense’ is ‘fabricating sense’ as creating an illusion and so I commit myself to snap myself out of my fear and ground myself here within and as the physical as breath and trust COMMON SENSE as what here and does not have to be ‘made up’

When and as I see myself fearing ‘not being me anymore’ as identity/personality/character – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this ‘me’ is merely the conglomeration of memories where this identity/character/personality as ‘who I believe myself to be’ is the product/result/embodiment of and has no real value, as it is purely coincidental as if I had lived another life under different circumstances me as character would have been different, and so ‘who I am’ as ‘who I believe myself to be’ as no real value and is only here to entertain/distract myself from embracing myself as the Real Character as my Human Physical Body and so I commit myself to stop my fear within the realisation that I have valued the wrong character and ground myself within and as Breath as my Human Physical Body as the only thing about my personal existence which is Real

I commit to show that no Character is of any value which is clearly revealed/shown within all the various Portal interviews with beings from the Afterlife – where beyond the point of Death they are stripped of all Personality as ‘who they believed themselves to be’ and ‘who others believed them to be’ – and all that is left is a single voice as Principle, where no matter what being comes through the Portal the message is always the same as Equality and Oneness as What is Best for All
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