Sunday, 23 September 2012

Day 59: What are you Laughing at?

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 17: Betrayal – Anger and Me – Part 2
Day 57: Sound of Laughter
Day 58: Reasoning as Self-Sabotage

 

Another memory opened up on this point of laughter, which is related to a memory which I’ve already worked on within my blog in: Day 17: Betrayal – Anger and Me – Part 2

As I was working on this laughter point, the memory in blog Day 17 popped up again, and the ‘laughter’ component within the memory was very obvious. Though, just now as I went to go look in what Blog I worked on this memory, the laughter point was completely absent lol.

In the memory I was as a small kid sitting in the lounge and two people were talking a bit further away about me behind my back about me and I got really angry. I forgot to include though, in my blog Day 17, that the people were also laughing – and it is this aspect which actually set me off.

From there on, I created a connection/relationship to the environmental feature of people laughing around me as the belief that ‘they must be laughing about me’. Since then, whenever I would be somewhere and for instance classmates or friends would be laughing while being a bit removed from me so I couldn’t exactly tell what they were talking/laughing about – I would immediately go into the fear of ‘Oh no what if they are talking to me’ or straight into anger as ‘They’re probably talking about me’.

Because as I was working on this laughter point in the past few days, I was looking at how I created this reaction for myself as reacting to someone else laughing/having fun and me reacting within ‘unfairness’ as ‘it’s not fair that they’re having fun while I’m “suffering” ’ type of thing. Though as I was done writing and looking inside myself where this reaction originated in terms of memory – nothing came up. This was because I was specifically looking for a memory containing the variables of “laughter”, “unfairness” and “they shouldn’t be having fun” – and I couldn’t find a memory matching these variables. But then, I remember from the Quantum Mind interviews, that the triggering of experiences as past memories does not always have to be an exact match – where even just a small or similar feature within a current event will trigger a past memory/experience which is alike and use that one to be imposed on the current moment. So then I decided to adjust my variables/”search criteria” and looked for memories specifically just pertaining to the components/variables “laughter” and “reaction” – and the same memory which I worked on in Day 17 popped up – and I could immediately identify the same negative energy charge connection present in that memory to the event I faced just a few days ago, although the context was slightly different. And then all of a sudden it was so obvious how this pattern emerged from that memory lol.

It was cool because I had just listened to the relevant Quantum Mind interview that very morning and was in the same day able to apply the information explained in the interview to open up a point further. At the same time it was also sad because it once again just re-confirmed my existence as a robot lol.

So in a way the following blogs will be a continuation on Day 17 as I will be further doing Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on the same memory, this time with emphasis on the laughter sound dimension of the memory which I previously overlooked.


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