eXploSion

we finally talked to dad about wanting to go to SA. And at first all seemed well we explained how we got to know the people from SA and stuff, showed the pic on facebook, showed the farm vids.
But then he started to ask "for how long" "WHAT ABOUT SCHOOL" when looking at me, mom explained and he said "I DONT CARE" "Im so tired of you guys!!! you spoiled brats, not wanting to work! not wanting to go to school (and then of course) SHE CANT EVEN MANAGE HER ROOM.

tadam...

that's when I got off my seat and went ok, it's done, it's a no, fuck it, I give up.

And then he said OK, whatever, just do whatever the fuck you want like everyone else in this house! You're all from a different world !! you know that???!!!!

So I went upstairs, sit in my couch, and cried my head out.
I just can't stand how he shouts at me, screaming stuff as if he knows me, and me just sitting there, boiling not being able to get a word out of my mouth.

Some time later maite came in my room and said "it's ok, we can go you know", and asked her to leave cause I was writing in my notebook.

Then later mom came in said the same thing, cried along with me, and then we just sat there. She said, we could go, but that I have to go and come back with Maite. That dad will pay my ticket so I won't even have to pay him back.


Then all was kind of quiet in the house but just some seconds ago he started screaming again.
So, I don't know, I just don't know.

One thing's for sure, I'll be avoiding him even more BIGTIME.

Damn, that moment he started to scream, he just got that DEMON look. Looking allllll MAAAAD. And he had a pair of siccors in his hands that he had been playing with and I just kept staring at those scissors.

So I guess, the hard part is over. I also felt like puking when in my room but didn't in the end.
Phheeeew, I just hope he does not change his mind.

Damn, I really don't want to stay in this house for much longer. I'm gonna work my ass off so hard, save up money and get the hell out of this madhouse.


But, what I also noticed, was that I was little bit more stable then I had expected me to be. So, I guess that's kind of cool.

Shit, next few days are going to be hell.