Tuesday, 10 June 2008

An unexpected Letter

Today I came home from school after doing my exams (they went pretty well). I sit on train with some girl from school and afterwards in Zaventem I see gabs walking on the platform. I run to him and say hi. LOL

Then we walk home and as we open door Maite is standing there with the mail and she hands me over a letter. I was like "huh, a letter for me, who the hell could that be". So I look at the handwriting and think "Huh!! E. sent me a letter? If she has something to say to me why doesn't she send me a message on my cellphone or call me or say it on msn or ask to meet up?? And why the hell would she send me a letter by mail when she lives only two streets away!?"

So hehe, it wasn't from E. the letter. Lol, only now I recorgnized they both have same handwriting haha. It was from Ine... Pfft, I was like "oh fuck she send me a letter, didn't expect that one! Grrmblz, now I will have to answer it and shit like that". Haha, me coming home all happy, did good exams, get home and get this letter I would rather want to ignore. Going "stupid letter, fucking up my day" lolol

Soooo, basically last time I saw Ine was around time it was my birthday and I discovered Desteni... She payed me a concert for my birthday and it was actually cool concert. I did not know the music but had fun. While being at her place in Ghent (where she studies) I felt all awkward. I had just found Desteni and was a bit confused. Here I was with this friend that I knew that our friendship was probably based on a lot of dishonest crap. I haven't seen her since then. I kinda let her know that I was probably never going to see her again, and that I had plans to go abroad, but all very vague. She kinda took it as a joke I think cause she considered us being "good friends" and that I wouldn't just drop our friendship hehe...

There is this music forum where we both posted a lot (me not anymore) and I went to check there like 3-4 months ago and I read a post she did about she being sick by vaccines, so I asked "oh why did you need those vaccines" then later I go check (I kinda forgot that I posted it) and she replied "well look who's there, it is Leila-I'm-never-going-to-see-you-again blablabla thing"
So I was like ok whatever I'll just drop it. Then a few months later I cleaned up my MSN list and I basically deleted everyone that I did not talk to on MSN and I deleted her as well cause I was like "ok I don't talk to her on msn and when we do we have nothing to say really so I just delete her" and thats what I did. Now that was looooong time ago.

And I did not expect to hear from her again. I thought she was angry at me for not letting her know how I was and stuff like that. But now I got this letter. Well, yes she IS angry for me suddenly dissapearing out of her life. She started the letter with "Leila! Damnit!!!"
lol.
And then she wrote like how she thought she would only stop seeing me after summervacation and stuff like that but that she hadnt heard from me at all. Pfffft.
So she asks for some sign of life lololol.

Then she starts to say how she fell in love and how pretty he is and blablabla and she starts to talk about gossip shit and tries to seduce me, so she doesn't really say the gossip and then says "so if you want to know about it you better call me, talk to me, write me" But I'm like uuhm, I don't care?

Then she says she hasn't really got much to say, asks again to contact her, cus she REALLY misses me.

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo

I'm like fuuuuuuuuuuuck

what will I write
will I meet
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeurk

Hmm I feel like writing how I met her.

Ok here it goes :

wait, I roll cigarette first lol.

ok, rolled and lighted lol

So one day I go with E. to a concert in Brussels at the Botanique, place where we usually go for concerts. We see concert we go home blablabla. Then some days later I join the forum of the band that we saw. And then I see there is a girl fom Belgium that was there at the concert as well. So we started to exchange PM's about that concert and the band and music in general.
She immediatly declares that she wants to be my friend and that she wants to go to London with me (I was like WTF this girl is crazy). Anyway, we keep on exchanging PM's and we exchange mail adresses so we can chat on MSN. At one point she sends me a PM where she says that we should really meet irl and if we didn't we would throw away a great opportunity of becoming great friends. LOL

So I was like, hmm cool ok, I will meet her , sounds like fun. So I gave her my cellphone number and we agreed to meet in Bruges. She lives near Bruges and she isn't allowed by her mommy to come over to Brussels because apparently Brussels is very dangerous and she didn't want her little girl to go to such a dangerous city. I was ok ok, I come to Bruges. So I took train to Brussels (which was about 10 to 15 min) and then took train to Bruges (which was about one hour one hour and a half). I was pretty nervous but I was glad that I got over my fear of meeting new "strange" people. So I arrived, I text messaged her that I was there, and she said I'm at the income hall outside. I knew she was very very small tiny person and she knew I was tall LOL. So I was there and I saw this little girl listening to her iPod on a bench, looking around to all these people, trying to find someone. So I come up to her and say HI, give her a kiss on the cheeck. So thats when the nervousness was at its top lol. I ask her where are we going, and she says I will give you a little tour in Bruges (as it was my first time in that city). We started to talk and we immediatly connected (we must have really similair mind program, connecting like that LOL) and she tells me how she feels like she already knows me like forever.

So we walked around in Bruges all day, she shows me all the important historical cultural places and buildings and stuff, just so we have something to do and talk in the meanwhile. She also shows me all the cool spots in Bruges and we eat yummy stuff. We went to some cheap cd store where they got lots of music (stuff that isn't easy to find) and we buy music. Now, I thought I was obsessed by music (having massive loads of music on computer and mp3) but she had all her music on CD's like LEGAL stuff you know, like she pays for it haha, and also what she had on cd , she also had on vinyl. So she was definitaly like hardcore music freak for me and I was like "wooaaah, this girl is cool, look at all the music she has!!" She even gave me some cd's and vinyl that she had double (she bought stuff also from ebay, but like in packages so sometimes she had doubles). I was like wooooaaah, nice girl she just gives me music just like that wooooooooooah awesome lolol.

She really liked me as a friend because I listened to same music like her (and she didnt knew anyone before who did lol) I was a bit weird, I went to art school, and I went to concerts in Brussels, so now apparently I was defined as "COOL" to her. And I was happy also cause now I had a friend from outside of school (besides of E. lolol) and she was cool and she listened to same music, likes movies and also read alot of books. So it was funny to see us together me being that tall and she being tiny tiny girl. Haha she would often ask if we couldn't sit down for awhile cus her neck hurt from looking up all the time when talking to me LOL.

So she had lots of music. And I was like "how the fuck can she paaaay that all??" but then we went over to her place with the last train cause I was going to sleep over. Turns out she hasn't got one villa but two villas connected to eachother with this bridgelike hallway kinda thing. So her house(s) was like MASSIVE. She told me her dad sold his business when it was at its climax so that they were pretty rich now. And I was like woohoo, another rich friend hehe.
Cause ok, now I'm not poor, definitly not, but from mom I don't get alot of money. I used the money to by tobacco and the rest I would save up for my concert tickets (at least one concert a month, mostly 2). So I never had money to buy like cd's or whatever. So she was very nice to me and bought my food, and cd's and stuff , and I was like "woohoo". LOL

But then I soon figured out she really has money issues. Cause she buys music the entire time, and she has many guitars but she doesn't play guitar properly and she want to have a band but she has no talent for guitar and she doesn't know the right people to start a band. So basically what she does to compensate was buying music the entire time, and she bought A LOT. She also went to lots of concerts, even abroad, even when she had just seen the band the day before in Belgium...

She thought it was quite cool me looking up at all the stuf she had (as in material possesion) and she enjoyed giving me stuff that I couldn't buy myself. But I was like 'cool, free music, so cool friend I have'. But in the end I saw that all the things she had was really just "stuff" and she tried to fill her life with music related stuff, compensating her dream of having her own band, she being famous and stuff lol.

At her house I met her parents. Now in belgium we talk Dutch, well flemish actually and there are lots of different dialects (even for such a small country!) so basically I didn't understand A THING her parents were talking to me. So I just nodded, say , yes, no, not knowing what the fuck they were talking about. And they couldn't understand me apparently cause I talk to fast (I get this remark a lot lolol).

Haha once even in the morning I went downstairs and her moms ask something like "Was that you that did bsmqofijsdomfjs,sdo gosgdsoghcd,qgsdqg sdo gmsq last night" and ws like "wtf is she talking about" so I said "uhm, no" and then her mom says a bit louder "NO???" and then I said "uhm,... yes?" and she said almost shouting tone "Yes??????????!!!!!!!"

So I was like shit shit shit what is this person talking about!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I kinda looked distracted went to search for ine and told her I couldnt understand shit her parents were talking to me. She thought it was pretty funny.

I like hanging around with friends, but I mean, not for too long , please, I want to be alone after a while. So after I slept over at her house for the first time I take train at about noon and her mom is complaining how I only stayed so short and I was like "WTF I stayed here already longer than I had planned and I just want to sit on train, be alone and enjoy my music on my mp3".

So the next times I came (I always slept over cus it was "long" train ride) her mom said same thing always how I would only stay so short but I would stay longer everytime and I was like fucking wierd parents she got. Really, they were like aliens, and her brother as well, he was some kind of motorcycle freak, and when he saw me he pretented like I wasn't there, never said a word to me.

So after a while I didnt like to go at her place cus her parents seemed like aliens to me, they really lived in some other alternate reality.

Ok, I write some more later

Ok back, shaved off my hair some more it already grew 1 Cm!!!! crazy shit that hair lol
ok next cigarette

That summervacation I decided I wanted to go to Pukkelpop, a festival in Belgium, a lot of bands that I loved were going to perform and I mean RADIOHEAD was coming so I was like ok I go see this shit lol. Thing was I did not have any money , it was about 130 euros, four days, and my parents would never let me go there.

BUT hehe

I managed to save like 50 euros and my parents would be in Spain when the festival was going to take place sooooooooooooo heheehehe. I decided I would go and so I did , I went with my train buddy from school. He is also rich so he payed the other 80 euros for me, and I said I would pay him back some day. ( I did eventually). Ine was also going to go and I told her that I would probably hang around with friends from school but that I would probably grow tired of them. So she said she was going to take a tent for 9 persons, and that I could always sleep in her tent with her friends. So one hour before I was going to leave to the station I chat with W-J (train buddy) and ask if he is ready. He says yea I'm ready, I just need to buy a tent for us and then all is settled. I was like OMG we only have one hour before we go and he hasnt got tent yet...
(His parents weren't home as well lol).
So I am on the platform at the station, waiting for W-J. I see the train coming but I don't see him anywhere. Then I hear a car coming and see W-J step out of a friends car along with the tent. He starts to run and we got on the train. Lol, he just came back from the store.

So we went to the festival place, took a lot of trains, didnt take many trains as they were overloaded with festival people. Once we got there is was already dark when we had to set up tent, but we managed to do it! We met up with some friends, smoked, talk, smoked some weed and stuff. (We went day before the festival actually started). it was my first festival and I was pretty excited. I was proud of myself daring to go to this festival without my parents knowing and doing something I had never done before (I didnt trust myself that I would actually make it to the festival and get inside lol).

After a while I meet up with Ine. Now the opposite happened, she grew tired of her friends and her friends grew tired of her, while I was having much much fun with my friends. So she hung out with me all the time.

Hahaha, also funny thing, W-J, he knows SHIT about music, he did not know ONE band that was coming (well, yea, he had heard of readiohead, but before he did not even know it was a band). So he just wanted to go to the festival for "fun" as if he went camping god I dont know where lolol. He didnt see much bands either those four days, he mostly ate, smoked, drank, smoked weed and bought me food, drinks and cigs. LOL
He spent more time on the camping terrain then at the festival terrain!!

Ok, so then I spent my entire time with Ine as we both liked same music, but sometimes we would disagree and we would split up. I loved being alone and just go check the music I liked. Cause I had heard lots of stories of my friends going to festivals and fighting about which band they were going to see.

I would always go up front and have lots of fun, along with the other people up front that I did not even know hehe.
So there was like a "group" feeling.

Ine would sometimes be annoyed with me going to check out bands without her or hanging out with my own friends.


Hmm, I continue later



OK, it is later now


Last few times I saw her I did not enjoy myself much in her presence. She would talk about music all the time and about people I dont even know, talk about how she whorships Carl Barat (from Libertines & Dirty Pretty Thing), gossip and whine about her friends how stupid they were and how she did not like them.
So I would just sit and listen thinking "if you hate them so much why dont you just leave them and let them be".
But nope, everytime I would come around the whining thing would happen all over again.

Scanning memories right now... what else can I say hmmmmmmmmmmm

Nope not really. Well not about her.

You see, this is how it always goes with me.
I go to new school I make friends, I have best friends, I go to other school, I don't mind leaving them and they never hear from me again an visa versa, and I couldn't care less about them.

Hmmm, so I'll probably meet up with her.

Bummer
lol

SF required. hehe
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