I remember the day that I first got into contact with Desteni.
I was sitting in my sister’s room, browsing around on her laptop. I was bored, and decided to look for some videos on YouTube. At that time, my brother, sister and I were very much into spirituality and conspiracy theories (sister to a lesser extent), and at that time specifically, we were into “orgone energy”. So I looked around for some orgone energy videos (we had been making some orgone pyramids) to see if I could find some ‘new’ info that I hadn’t found before, get some more ‘excitement’ out of it.
As I was watching one of the orgone videos on YouTube, I noticed a peculiar thumbnail on the right side by the featured videos. I clicked on it and started watching the video. I thought the whole ‘breathing in and out’ at the start of the video was a bit weird, but I continued watching.
As the person was talking through the video I found that he was speaking a bit weird. And I mean, Wilhelm Reich was supposed to be dead, so how was he going to be giving an interview on YouTube – even better – an interview on YouTube as a 14 year old boy.
I thought, “Man, poor child, he must have been forced by his parents to memorize this script and then say it out loud to a camera for it to be uploaded on YouTube”. But then, as the video went on, I realised that the way the person in the video was speaking, behaving – was just ‘too natural’ to match my idea of some abused teenager who was forced to memorize a ten minute script.
I was quite intrigued with the video and wanted to find out more, so I went to check out his YouTube channel. There I saw that the channel had more than 500 videos uploaded, which in my eyes confirmed that this could not have been a ‘force case’. I also went to check out the website at the end of the video and I couldn’t find anything related to money or making money out of the videos they were doing. I couldn’t grasp why someone would be faking 500 videos for no money so I decided that either this person’s a complete nutcase – or must be very passionate and driven about something (and 500+ videos, that’s something very admiring in terms of someone’s dedication).
I checked out some more videos and they all made sense to me.
I then also visited the forum and found out the person in the video was a 24 year old female (Oopsie!), I introduced myself and continued absorbing all the videos and articles.
The videos about the Mind Consciousness System and how thoughts and images feed and energize your mind made a lot of sense to me. You see, a few months, maybe a year, before I got all into spirituality, I basically ‘made’ myself be somewhat ‘anorexic’. Throughout my life I had always been fascinated by anorexic girls and how they had the willpower to abstain from food (I mean, I LOVE FOOD). Then the one day, I was watching a documentary on tv about some anorexic girls, which give a pretty good picture of their thought patterns, as those became apparent during the interviews with them. So then I thought, “Hey, instead of anorexia “happening” to me like a “disease”, I could just manage my thoughts, and deliberately think the way they do, and manage it that way!”. This might sound very weird, but I was very bored with my life at that time, and I was looking for a ‘goal’, something to achieve, a ‘purpose’ to give my life direction. So then, that’s what I did.
I found it very exciting to play this ‘secret game’, always having to make sure my family wouldn’t take notice in this change of “lifestyle” that I had adopted. I started losing a lot of weight and getting a lot of compliments from the people around me. I absolutely loved it.
At times when I was down I would take my diary and write out my “managed thoughts”, to kind of ‘force them’ into reality – and surprisingly it worked! I found that writing was very effective in terms of re-enforcing the behaviour that I was looking for within myself. I’d also flip through fashion magazines, keep a scrap book where I kept the best model pictures – and when I was really having a ‘dip’ or a bad day in terms of ‘not eating food’, I’d take one of the images and re-draw them in my diary. I got so good at constantly forcing myself to think about losing weight and calories and exercising -- that it just became an automated part of me and I didn’t have to ‘deliberately’ do it anymore – it had just become me.
So when I came to the point where I was like “Fuck, this is getting out of hand (I was very drowsy, feeling nauseas, sometimes feeling like I was about the faint), I’ve got to stop this.” I tried, but then I noticed how this whole new behaviour had just “taken over” and I had lost control. The thoughts, the pictures in my head – they just kept coming!
I eventually got over it, but it took a whole long while to get there.
So when I was watching the Desteni videos on how you program yourself with your thoughts, how you ‘motivate’ your mind with pictures = I knew that the information that the being in the video was sharing was true, because I had experienced (and enforced it) first hand.
So I just knew that Desteni was the real shit, and as I went along with the new videos it just kept on being re-confirmed. I also knew the power writing had, so I started to use it for the first time to actually assist myself (instead of breaking myself down).
Since then, I’ve been able to live a lot more satisfying life. Desteni teaches you how to take control over your own inner-world, teaches you to appreciate yourself and stand for something real. I did not have to look for a ‘goal’ or a ‘purpose’ anymore, it was right here – it was Desteni.
