Day 127: Sigh - Part 5

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 123: An Innocent Sigh?
Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words
Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!
Day 126: Sigh - Part 4

When and as I see myself being faced with something that is not going the way I would like it to go, as for instance the internet being slow which would require me to slow down as well – where I see myself taking in an extra long/deep breath in preparation of producing a sigh and making myself feel heavy/weighed down – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise where this pattern leads me and so I commit myself to stop, breathe, slow down and investigate how I can handle things differently

When and as I see myself wanting to sigh to assert my rigidity in relation to something in my reality that I am working with and is not working the way I believe it is *supposed* to work – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that me sighing, being rigid and imposing an experience of heaviness unto me is not going to miraculously change the situation to suddenly become as I would like it to be – where it is in fact doing quite the opposite as I am setting myself up to not find a different way to approach what I am working with and so I commit myself to stop, and investigate what points I have not considered within what I am working with and change my approach

When and as I see myself sighing / throwing a tantrum in relation to something which I perceive to not be going ‘my way’ within the starting point of wanting to hold on to ‘my way of doing things’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that if I am trying ‘my way’ and it is not working – that this means that ‘my way’ is not effective and should undergo evaluation and so I commit myself to use this opportunity to investigate my self-application and specify myself

When and as I see myself sighing in relation to something that I perceive as ‘not working the way I want it to work’ from the starting point of wanting my sigh to be heard by others and want them to feel bad for me or fix the situation for – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this a form of manipulation and is unacceptable where I want to indirectly get someone to help as to still maintain my idea of ‘my way’ and that ‘my way is the right way’ – and that it is not me that is the problem but the thing or person I perceive as not working/cooperating and want someone else to support this point of view and agree with me that the other is the problem and want their help in the other to change and so I commit myself to stop the moment I see the experience/movement of wanting to sigh within wanting someone to hear my ‘cry’ and check who I am in relation to what or who I am dealing with and change/adapt my approach to get to a point of well functioning

When and as I see myself sighing within an emotional charge of complaining where I sigh very loudly within the belief that ‘things are going against me’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that within sighing and wanting everything to adapt to me, I am making a statement that ‘I am at the centre of the universe’ and that I am not willing to change and so I commit myself to stop and investigate what such an action/statement says about myself and whether this is a statement/principle I want to live by and direct myself to make the necessary alignments to make sure that I am satisfied with my self-application within the framework of what is Best for All Life

When and as I see myself being in a state of inconsideration towards anything or anyone else within my reality, within for instance getting upset when things are not going the way I want them to go – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this experience indicates to me the extent of Self-Interest I am still accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as within the belief that since I am only aware of myself and what I experience, that I / my experiences are the only thing that matter and worthy of consideration and commit myself to stop this limited self interest to an interest of all Life and all things

Related articles

• Day 126: Sigh - Part 4
• Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words
• Day 45: Self-Forgiveness - Work
• Day 97: Don't you just LOVE Complaining? - Part 2
• Day 204: Powerlessness as Abdication of Responsibility

Day 126: Sigh - Part 4

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 123: An Innocent Sigh?
Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words
Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!

 When and as I see myself react to something in my environment 'not working' the way I expect it to -- as the internet running slow and making the buttons not work/clickable -- and react to that within irritation and annoyance an let out a big fat sigh -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am attempting to show my discontent with whatever I perceive as 'not working' as a form of complaining that something is 'not fair' and so I commit myself to stop myself to moment I take that extra deep breath to produce a sign and check what I am doing -- so that I do not necessarily compromise and sabotage myself within holding on to expectations

When and as I see myself being faced with a situation where something is not working the way I want it to work -- such as the internet being slow and taking a long time to process information -- and want to respond to that within letting out a big fat sigh, to show that I am 'not okay' with this -- even though I know that this will not make a difference and will just have to deal with it -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am unnecessarily creating something more out of what is going on within sighing and creating an emotional experience and so I commit myself to stop my emotional reaction , breathe, and slow down

When and as I see myself in a situation where something is 'not working' the way I want/expect it to work such as the internet being slow -- and react to that within sighing and getting upset/frustrated and clicking lots in a desperate attempt to 'get through' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am placing whatever that I perceive as not working within a label of 'not being cooperative' and blame whatever/the internet for my experience of sighing and frustration and so I commit myself to stop my emotional reaction as frustration and stop myself the moment I want to go into a sigh and direct/move myself to slow down and adapt within the realisation that I am the one being uncooperative within getting frustrated/sighing/complaining

When and as I see myself in a situation where something is 'not working' the way I want/expect it to work such as the internet being slow - and let out a big sigh -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that this indicates to me that I believe that I have the right to express my discontent in the face of whatever I perceive as being 'uncooperative' -- without seeing and realising that me sighing and myself taking on a stance of non-cooperation is merely me sabotaging myself and moving myself to work effectively with what is here, where I distract myself with the belief that things 'shouldn't be this way' and within that set myself up in a rigid position to show my resistance and protest, but where I end up only working against myself and so I commit to stop the protest and slow myself down within and as breath as I've seen, realised and understand that this is not going to make a difference to physical reality

Will continue tomorrow

Related articles

• Day 97: Don't you just LOVE Complaining? - Part 2
• Day 123: An Innocent Sigh?
• Day 80: What Have I Done? - Part 2
• Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!
• Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words

Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 123: An Innocent Sigh?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when something is not working as I expect it -- where things are not going smooth and fast -- get upset at reality not matching my expectation and within that feel that reality is being unfair towards me as my mind, and where I want to show my discontent with reality by letting out a big, fat, sigh -- and within that saying 'Hear me sigh! Look at what you are doing to me! Why are you placing me in this position? It's not fair -- you are wrong and I am right, conform to my ideas goddammit!'

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to ever question the expression of 'sighing' -- believing that it is just something we do to
'release steam' and within that not actually look and investigate what it is that moves through me within the moment of sighing

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise, that sighing is not a point of 'releasing some steam', but is actually quite the opposite as a from of 'protest', where one acknowledge that nothing can be done about what one is doing / dealing with, but where self wants to show/indicate that even though self is going to work with it, it doesn't mean that self agrees -- and will thus 'put up a fight' within assuming an uncooperative attitude towards what self is doing and within that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that it is not that something or someone is being uncooperative in relation to me which is making me go into discontent and producing a sigh -- but it is me stating within sighing that I am going to take on an uncooperative stance towards whatever it is I am dealing with and thus my experience has got nothing to do with that which I am working with but who I allow myself to be within a given situation and how I decide to deal with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to express my discontent in the face of whatever I perceive as being 'uncooperative' -- without seeing and realising that me sighing and myself taking on a stance of non-cooperation is merely me sabotaging myself and moving myself to work effectively with what is here, where I distract myself with the belief that things 'shouldn't be this way' and within that set myself up in a rigid position to show my resistance and protest, but where I end up only working against myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is perfectly normal for myself and other people to sigh when things are not going the way we/I expect them to go, believing this to be a 'normal' and 'innocent' expression -- not ever questioning where such expressions come from or who one is within it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am faced with something that is not going the way I would like it to go, as for instance the internet being slow which would require me to slow down as well -- to deliberately let out a sigh and induce an experience of 'heaviness' and ' a weight pushing down on me' whilst at the same time deluding myself within believing that this experience is being caused by the point I perceive as 'not going the way I want it to go' while I am the one deciding to experience myself within this manner within the deliberate decision of formulating and letting out a big, fat sigh, as some weird form of 'protest'

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that me sighing and being all rigid is not going to miraculously change the situation to how I would like it to be -- where I actually only make things worse for myself within not just dealing with what is here and adjusting my course of action and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and attempt to 'force' reality to work 'my way' and conform to an idea in my mind as 'how things should be' -- not seeing and realising that I have no such magnificent mind powers where a single sigh can 'change the tide' and 'make things go my way'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sigh when things aren't going 'my way' -- where I am not allowing myself to be flexible and adapt to what is here and find another way to deal with whatever there is to be dealt with, but instead want to 'hold on' to how I believe things should be even though all the evidence is against me, showing me that how I want things to be isn't how it is, and thus what I am doing is completely ineffective and counterproductive as I am wasting my time -- where with the slow internet I didn't just wait or go somewhere with a better internet connection, but instead went 'click-click-click-click-click WORK GODDAMMIT" -- where it should have been obvious that after a few clicks that what I was trying to achieve was not working and was not going to happen, but where instead of changing my approach I only became more stubborn and upset -- and in essence: throwing a tantrum

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sigh as a form of audible complaint, where I want others to hear me and pity me withing being in a position where apparently 'things are against' -- where I want the other thing or person to change for what I want to achieve to work, instead of me changing and adapting -- merely indicating to me how stuck I am within the belief and religion of myself as 'how things should be' and 'who I am' and my limit of cooperation towards myself and others -- where I just want everything to be nice and easy, and the moment things become rough or I have to change my course of action: I become upset and want to protest -- because "how dare this thing or person get in my way? I have the right to be all comfy! I have the right to the path of least resistance! I have the right to be a single minded and not flexible in how I approach things! Poooooooor meeeeeeeee!"

To be continued

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• Day 220 - How thoughts create Physical reality.
• Day 118: The Power of Thought: Time Warp
• Day 153: Birthing ourselves as life, as a partnership Part 11 - Understanding the reflection in the mirror - I feel excluded
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