Day 154: Cutting the Strings

This blog is a continuation to:

Day 130: Holding Myself Back
Day 131: Timidity
Day 132: How we Bring Personality Traits into Being
Day 133: Managing vs. Correcting My Inner Reality
Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
Day 135: Stopping the Pattern
Day 136: Walking Back in Time
Day 137: Re-Acting Reactive Reactions
Day 138: Move or Be Moved
Day 139: Taking things Personal is Self-Interest
Day 140: Opting for Avoidance over Change
Day 141: Why are you so Mean to Me?
Day 142: Respecting Beliefs
Day 143: Busted!
Day 144: Moving Beyond Self
Day 145: From Reaction to Self-Reflection
Day 146: Death of a Horse
Day 147 & 148: Aftermath - Death of a Horse
Day 149: Interpretation vs Seeing & Correcting
Day 150: How Dare you make me Feel Bad?
Day 151: My Way or the Highway
Day 152: Things are Not Always what they Seem
Day 153: Body – Marionette of the Mind
Day 154: Cutting the Strings

When and as I see myself participating within movements which just seemingly seem to ‘happen’ where these movements just come about without me actively directing and moving myself within awareness – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that if I am not the directive principle something else is and so I commit myself to stop, breathe and identify what program is directing my physical movement and work through it within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements and Application

When and as I see myself moving my hand over my mouth within conversations/activities – I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am accessing my ‘holding back’ programming and so I commit myself to stop, breathe, ground myself as my human physical body and participate unconditionally and to investigate what fear point triggered the program and to work through it within writing and self-correction

When and as I see myself pick up my scarf and move towards my mouth / place it over my mouth – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that unless my face is cold there is no logical explanation as to why I would be placing my scarf over my mouth and so I must be accessing the ‘holding back’ program within and as me and so I commit myself to stop, breathe, remove the scarf and participate unconditionally

When and as I see myself move my hand in front of my mouth, move my scarf in front of my mouth, start mumbling or experience a movement of ‘holding back’ within my chest – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise I am accessing a program in support of ‘holding back’ indicating to me that I am reacting to a fear point and so I commit myself to correct these movements as removing my hand/scarf away from my mouth and start speaking clearly to assist and support myself to get out of my programmed response pattern to particular triggers and I commit myself to identify, trace, and pin-point the exact trigger that set the reaction into motion and work through it within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself experiencing emotions and feelings such as fear and anxiety upon which I respond with particular movements which get set in motion without really knowing ‘how’ or ‘why’ I am responding this way – I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am playing out a programmed pattern designed to set off upon receiving particular triggers, where I have accepted and allowed such points/experiences/movements to a point of normalcy and so I commit myself to question every inner movement and outer movement as my human physical body within asking myself: where does this movement come from – am I the directive principle or not? And to accordingly assist and support myself to spot any patterns which I was not yet conscious of and to investigate them within self-reflective writing and write and apply myself to correction

I commit myself to identify/spot every moment where I go and access the ‘holding back’ program within myself and to correct myself each and every time until it is done

When and as I see myself experience resistance/difficulty in relation to stop the pattern of holding back within and as me and want to rather just ‘go with it’ as what I am used to / have allowed to become my ‘comfort zone’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I can either continue compromising myself to the rest of my life or I can make an effort to change, which will take some time, discipline, diligence, consistency and patience – but where I will have actually changed and have a result that I can be happy/satisfied with and so I commit myself to change within honouring myself and the best I can be

Related articles

• Day 153: Body - Marionette of the Mind
• Day 136: Walking Back in Time
• Day 145: From Reaction to Self-Reflection
• Day 163: Birthing ourselves as life, as a partnership Part 21 - Suppression.
• Day 130: Holding Myself Back
• Day 137: Re-Acting Reactive Reactions

Day 137: Re-Acting Reactive Reactions

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 130: Holding Myself Back
Day 131: Timidity
Day 132: How we Bring Personality Traits into Being
Day 133: Managing vs. Correcting My Inner Reality
Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
Day 135: Stopping the Pattern
Day 136: Walking Back in Time

When and as I see myself reacting to energy as aggravation/anger within another form of energy as fear and anxiety – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am in reactive mode within only responding to energy and not taking into consideration physical reality and so I commit myself to snap myself out of reaction mode and ground myself within and as my human physical body

When and as I see myself reacting to someone expressing anger/aggravation or other forms of conflict/friction within and immediately want to place that energy as conflict/friction into a position of authority wherein I accepted and allowed this energy to determine who I am and what I do – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am the one assigning such power to energy and that it does not have to be this way and so I commit myself to give my power back to myself and establish myself within and as the physical through breath so I may assess the situation/scenario in fact and not just react to energy in fear

When and as I see myself reacting to someone else being in a reactive energy mode upon which I also enter an energetic reaction mode – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that by reacting within energy and not stopping but participating within the energy I am only ‘throwing the ball back’ wherein I / we are validating the energy game we are playing and thus support it through participation and so I commit myself to stop, breathe, ground myself as my human physical body to no longer support my energy habit or the energy habit of another as myself

When and as I see myself believe/think that people reacting to reactions is normal – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this belief is the result of brainwashing within not questioning what we as humans have accepted and allowed ourselves to become as sucking real bad at living on Earth in a way that makes sense and what effective communication really entails – and so I commit myself to investigate where I am still allowing myself to react to reactions and walk these points within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application

When and as I see myself control my movement in my reality to avoid certain external reactions within fear of them igniting particular reactions within me which I want to avoid – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am merely circumventing the problem by trying to avoid getting my buttons pushed – but that does not mean that the buttons are not there and so I commit myself to investigate what it is I want to avoid and place myself in those situations to assist and support myself to practically walk through the experience which I want to avoid/fear and prove to myself that I do not have to be a slave to reactions

When and as I see myself control my movement within my reality in order to seek out particular external reactions to which I will have particular reactions which I have deemed as ‘desirable’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that such behavioural patterns indicate that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from certain points within my reality, where I believe I have to reach out to triggers/reactions to cause a particular experience inside myself so I can believe myself to be fulfilled for a moment – and so I commit myself to look at what it is that I want / find desirable and investigate self-honesty what it is that I perceive as lacking within myself causing me to reach out for external inputs to create an artificial experience for myself based on energy within writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application.

Related articles

• Day 136: Walking Back in Time
• Day 133: Managing vs. Correcting My Inner Reality
• Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
• Day 77: Confessions of a Child Junkie
• Day 150: Birthing ourselves as life, as a partnership Part 8 - Mirrors in the partnership
• Day 135: Stopping the Pattern

Day 135: Stopping the Pattern

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 130: Holding Myself Back
Day 131: Timidity
Day 132: How we Bring Personality Traits into Being
Day 133: Managing vs. Correcting My Inner Reality
Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear

When and as I see myself receiving an aggravated reply from someone and react to this input within anxiety and fear – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am accepting and allowing myself to let energy determine who I am both within and without and so I commit myself to breathe and ground myself within and as my human physical body until the energy dissipates

When and as I see myself reacting to me experiencing fear and anxiety as a reaction to receiving an aggravated reply from someone – within wanting to go into the point of ‘it’s better not to speak’ or ‘I could have avoided this if I didn’t speak’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that ‘not speaking’ is merely circumventing the issue which is myself and my acceptance and allowance of fear and anxiety to exist within and as me and allow it to determine who I am and the direction I take and so I commit myself to stop, breathe and ground myself as my human physical body -- let go of the thought and commit myself to work through the fear and anxiety within self-responsibility

When and as I see myself believing that my reaction as ‘it is better not to speak’ from a starting point of fear is justifiable within the belief that ‘it was the only logical conclusion/step to take’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that the event could have gone different ways and do not accept and allow myself to defend my self-limitation within protecting my existence as fear and anxiety and so I commit myself to stop this backchat/justifications and face my fear

When and as I see myself access the belief / thought that particular traits/characteristics of personality just ‘happened’ to me where I did not have any control or say in how I adopted these attitudes – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I have made the decision as a reaction to adopt these personality traits such as being shy/timid as a coping mechanism where I deliberately integrated these points within myself to protect my existence as fear and not question who I am and the world around me and so I commit myself to not take any beliefs for granted as beliefs of personality where I think that they just ‘happened’ to me and to walk these points out into specificity so that I can see/realise/understand how I have come to be this way and let go of these patterns of limitation

When and as I see myself access the belief that ‘not speaking’ is the only possible ‘solution’ to being faced with conflict/friction – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is not a solution but a reaction based within fear and so I commit myself to disregard my backchat as ‘don’t speak’ and to ground myself within and as my human physical body and face the conflict/friction unconditionally and trust myself to be able to assess within the moment what would be the best direction to take

When and as I see myself reacting to a person being aggravated within fear and anxiety upon seeing the particular energy as conflict/friction being emanated from the person within believing/perceiving that this energy is bigger/more than me and placing myself within a position of less than/smaller as self-victimization and self-imposed inferiority – believing that I cannot handle such energy/such a situation – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am merely reacting and that it is my reaction as fear and anxiety which poses a problem to me effectively moving and directing myself and so I commit myself to stop my energetic experience of fear and anxiety towards energy of conflict/friction and ground myself within and as my human physical body and re-assess the situation from a common sense perspective

When and as I see myself reacting to conflict/friction within my environment within ‘weighing off’ my options as ‘should I not speak and avoid conflict/friction’ or ‘should I push through my fear and speak’ – where I want to opt for the fastest and shortest way out of conflict/friction – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I have scripted such an escape-route pattern within and for myself as a coping mechanism to conflict/friction within my childhood where I did not understand what was going on and how to deal with both myself and the other and within my confusion decided to just ‘shut down’ as the easiest way to deal with the situation and took on the personality of ‘shy’ / ‘timid’ in order to avoid conflict/friction and thus never allowing myself to effectively face and walk through the point of conflict/friction and so I commit myself to stop this pattern of hiding and to speak when I see I can speak regardless of fear and anxiety as a statement of self-value and self-appreciation

Related articles

• Day 133: Managing vs. Correcting My Inner Reality
• Day 132: How we Bring Personality Traits into Being
• Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
• The Angels and Demons of God as ENERGY: DAY 226
• Day 228 - Working, the physical and emotion Part 1