Day 193: Giving up on Myself - The Quick Fix Cycle

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 190: Giving up on Myself - The Spoiled Brat Syndrome 
Day 191: Giving up on Myself - My Life is so Rough (Part 2) 
Day 192: Giving up on Myself - Happiness Drone (Part 3)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care about other people and other life forms and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am better/ more important than other people/life form

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see the hypocrisy/evilness of not caring about others who are not as well off as me while knowing that I would want to be cared for if I was them with all my heart

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to care for and respect others as me

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have no right to live the life of comfort I have if I am not willing to live the life of others that make possible the life I live

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to give up my life of comfort which takes place primarily in my mind as a drug induce happiness experience for the sake of making other people's lives actually physically more comfortable

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that what has become of me/humanity is a ruthless, principle-less monster that stands against anything of value within life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just 'want to do nothing' after going through a regular day from the perspective that the life we live and how do things in the world is not cool / enjoyable but a drag and where within that point of 'just let me be' and 'I don't want to do anything/contribute' I am actually only further perpetuating the problem and creating / maintaining what I don't like within this world/reality where I only care to balance out the negative with some positive so that I can 'recharge' myself for another day without in any way whatsoever changing what is actually causing me to not like my life so much and keeping the cycle going for myself and everyone else -- where if I only looked at the problem and that which is not cool from a starting point of 'Prevention is the best cure' -- I wouldn't need to constantly shift myself from the negative to the positive to 'be okay' but could simply be here, stable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care but actual solution but to only care about my personal/happiness experience - where I did not care about how the world is set up and functions as long as I can get some reward/positivity to compensate for the bad stuff -- not seeing and realising that this may have been manageable for myself and my life but not on a grand scale where many have to live in constant negativity to uphold/maintain and substantiate a life of 'positivity' for others

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I wouldn't need 'a break' and to 'zone out' if the problems that are existent within the world today weren't in place -- and so it is not acceptable/enough to just 'zone out' and 'take a break' once in a while as this never changes anything but to look at why i need a break/escape from reality in the first place and deal with it hands on

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather go for a ‘quick fix’ in quite a literal way, where I rather go for a quick ‘feel good experience’ rather than moving myself to bring about an actual change in my world which would eliminate the need for a quick fix in the first place

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about reality but not willing to take the necessary steps to change it and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I had no right to complain

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that it was my ‘quick fix feel good’ experience/desire that is in fact creating the problems/shit in the world that I then go and compensate for within my quick fix – where the positive perpetuates the bad and the bad perpetuates the good – keeping the cycle in place and growing

Related articles

• Day 192: Giving up on Myself - Happiness Drone (Part 3)
• Day 191: Giving up on Myself - My Life is so Rough (Part 2)
• Day 206: The Suffering of Others

Day 120: Intelligence and Deception

The one day I was looking at a book on different dog breeds, and in the book, a rating system was included in relation to the breed's
'intelligence'. I then went to check what this rating system was based on (= what makes one dog more intelligent than another), and found out they actually used deception, as an indicator of intelligence.

The more able an animal was capable of deception, the more intelligent it was considered to be.

'Intelligence' is often what makes humans distinct from other animal species -- does that mean we're just super good at deceiving ourselves and others?

You only have to consider for instance our banking system to see that this quite relevant.

Our banking system as it exists now within the framework of fractional reserve banking, in essence originated from deception, where it was observed that one could loan out money that wasn't necessarily present -- and by the time this deception was revealed, the whole economy and society had already become too dependent on this lie that it could not say 'no' to it, otherwise economic growth would falter -- and yet it is this system of deceit that affects the lives of everyone in the world.

Similarly, the notion of the human being, being a 'rational' animals -- merely refers to humans acting according to their own self-interest.

Intelligence is seriously overrated -- it's supposed to be the one thing that makes us 'rise' above all other life forms. I remember watching educational films at school on 'the human' and our awesome intelligence, showing pictures of ancient greece, and statues of long dead philosophers, architecture, literature, science, paintings, music and what not as examples of our 'great achievements', yet each time any such movies fail to illustrate our gigantic failures such as increased poverty, starvation and war throughout the centuries. Interesting how the human race and its achievements are always depicted in terms of the past as the great philosophers and painters and what not while the more you look at what characterises our contemporary era is poverty, crime, war, destruction.

Is the human race devolving?

Within reading subjects such as economics and politics -- intelligence is connected the whole time with 'superiority', where those who are educated and informed are supposedly 'above' everyone else -- and based on this should not pay much regard or attention to "the masses" and do what they think is best, which obviously suits them more than everyone together -- because according to them, this is what life is about, and all those 'other people' as the majority are not 'living the life' so why bother caring about them, they're just 'ignorant fools' and deserve whatever bad shit is happening to them.

Within that, intelligence is really another word for 'clever evil', where fancy words dress up manipulation and deceit in such a way that no-one questions it and actually looks up at it. I mean, with apes like orangutan, they found that the wider the ape's vocabulary (in sign language), the better able the orangutan was able to deceive -- coincidence?

Related articles

• Day 199: After Death Communication - Part 48
• Day 220: The Greatest Cult in History
• Day 223: Intelligence and God - ADC - Part 70