This is a continuation to Day 42: Why?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken it personal when I walked with the teacher to our classroom after I fell and the teacher simply kept silent throughout our walk – where I accepted and allowed myself have come to the conclusion that what happened was ‘normal’ and ‘nothing out of the ordinary’ – and where furthermore I concluded that what happened was ‘just’ in the sense that I had deserved what happened, within the belief that it was implied by her silence
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have interpreted the teacher’s silence – within believing that it meant that ‘nothing was wrong’ and that ‘what happened, happened for a reason’ where I accepted and allowed myself to believe this reason to be ‘me’ and as such, there was ‘nothing to say about it’ – and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the silence did not imply anything per se – where the assumptions I made as apparent “implications” were of my own creation, reflecting my own attitude towards myself back to myself – and so within taking the behaviour of the teacher personal, I was in fact only accessing judgments/beliefs/ideas already existent within me and projecting them unto the teacher as if they were in fact emanating from her – while they were not, it was all coming from myself
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to within that moment of “pondering” what this silence “might mean” – to stop, and realise that I am creating something, making something more out of a situation that what it really is
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always try and figure out what “the meaning” of things is that happen to me and my reality
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that within trying to find out what ‘the meaning’ is of something, I am in fact separating myself from what happened / is going on – where I go into a mode of ‘speculating’ what it might mean and then decide to make whatever speculation ‘suits me best’ a reality for myself, within deciding that “this happened for that reason” – and so entertain myself within a separate, ‘customized’ version of reality – where events have particular meanings and implications and where I believe those meanings and implications to be true – without seeing and realising that I made them up in an attempt to never be here as this physical reality and deal with what actually goes on within this World and the atrocity that has become of Life on Earth
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that taking things personal is normal / the way of Life – where “taking things personal” is just human nature and so we shouldn’t really do anything about it because it is ‘who we are’
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question the nature and existence of “taking things personal” – as “taking things personal” is actually a form of mental disorder as one is creating and holding on to a distorted version of reality within oneself, which self holds to be ‘true’ and ‘evident’ – while it is actually all made up, and where we are okay with everyone doing this
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that “taking things personal” is not normal, and not acceptable behaviour – as one is within “taking things personal” removing themselves from reality, and within doing so, basing their actions and behaviour on a modified version of reality which is not coherent with how things work in fact – leading us humans to act in irrational, destructive ways and justifying it under ‘everyone takes things personal, it’s just who we are’ – without ever questioning the implications of such a statement of acceptance and the door to abuse it opens towards the real, actual, physical reality which is being completely disregarded within us only paying attention to our own ‘version’ of things as our judgments, opinions, beliefs, perspectives, points of view
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken the teacher’s silence personal after the event of me falling after I had been pushed by someone else, where I believed that the ‘push’ and the ‘fall’ were personal – and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the boy pushing/shoving me out of the way ‘meant’ something, within the sense of it being ‘personal’ and ‘specifically’ pertaining to me – without seeing and realising that the actions of the boy weren’t personal – but in fact a statement of humanity as a whole – where within the action of the boy pushing me to the ground for the sake of being able to continue playing his game – causing real physical damage and pain -- is the result of education of parents and society as a whole as the result of our values and principles, where the boy within that one singular moment simply revealed that we human beings value our personal energetic mind reality more than the physical reality we all share – where the boy could have only performed this action if we all agreed that this is acceptable, otherwise he would not have been taught that such behaviour is ‘okay’ and ‘acceptable’ and so the action would have never occurred within his mind – but it DID – and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have blamed the boy, and blamed him personally for my experience – instead of seeing and realising that he was merely demonstrating our values as humanity as a whole, and as such I cannot blame him, and I cannot take his actions personal either – as I am both creator and victim of my own creation as I am part of the whole who decides what is acceptable and what not – where my own actions which occurred after the event also clearly indicated that I value personal mind energetic reality more than the physical reality which we all share within assuming and taking things personal and victimizing myself – and so there is no point blaming the boy, as that would just be hypocrisy and an attempt to shift responsibility away from myself
When and as I see myself observing someone’s behaviour and ‘making something out of it’ within having thoughts about it – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am assigning a value judgment to the situation and within that altering reality for myself within that moment – where consequently I lose grip with reality and am no longer able to make trustworthy decisions – as I have clearly revealed to myself within my writing that when I go and ‘interpret’ things – I end up diminishing and compromising myself within placing self-limiting beliefs unto myself – and so I commit myself to stop all thoughts when observing someone’s behaviour so I may remain here, as this physical reality and not get lost on some other imaginary plane of existence
When and as I see myself observing someone’s behaviour, and assign a particular value / meaning to it – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this value / meaning is not coming from the other person but comes from me – where this value/meaning is not ‘given’ within the situation, but a decision I make to be what I want it to be – and so I stop and commit myself to look at what I have revealed to myself within interpreting someone’s behaviour, apply Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements as such events indicate to me that there are still Characters at play which I haven’t considered / addressed properly before
When and as I see myself ‘pondering’ within ‘trying to figure out the meaning behind something’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am participating within creating a mental disorder within creating alternate versions of reality – where I am distracting myself from what is actually going on within this physical reality, where I accepted and allowed myself to assign ‘value’ and ‘meaning’ to reality as if it really has that meaning in fact, while it just my own personal made-up meaning, where I end up creating meanings about everything within my world as ‘opinion’ – where each time I am looking at something in the world, I am not really looking at what it is, but only observing my interpretation of what it is as my opinion, and so I have locked myself away from reality where it is just out of reach – literally creating a bubble around myself where everything I see and experience is actually just myself as my mind as the opinions I’ve conjured up and imposed on reality – and within that deny myself access to what is real
I commit myself to show that ‘taking things personal’ is not normal and not okay – as it has disastrous effects within the acceptance and allowance of letting people act upon their own version of reality – where everyone has a different idea about reality which clashes with everyone’s else’s – resulting in an Earth that gets raped right in front of our eyes but we won’t do a thing about it as we’re all caught up in our little mind bubbles as what we think is real – which ends up in the destruction of what is real in fact
When and as I see myself taking someone’s actions personal and blaming them for my experience – I stop and I breathe – I allow myself to take a step back and look at the bigger picture – as within ‘taking things personal’ I am in fact placing myself in the centre of the Universe as if everything revolves around me – while everything that happens does not revolve around me personally but revolves around everything and everyone as the result of our collective acceptances and allowances – and so instead of blaming and taking someone’s actions personal, I take this point as an opportunity to investigate how I accepted and allowed such behaviour to manifest within this world which is an indication that this behaviour lies within me as well – and so I commit myself to forgive myself for the manifestation of such behaviour and so place myself within a position of self-responsibility within investigating how such behaviour came about within our world and deconstructing it within myself – so I can be a living example that we do not have to accept and allow this behaviour and set a new standard of what is acceptable and what is not within this world, so we can start creating a World that is Best for All
