Showing posts with label Who am I. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Who am I. Show all posts

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Day 105: Identity Crisis: What's the Use?

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 104: Identity Crisis: Am I Real or Am I the Product of Behavioural Conditioning?



In my previous blogpost I was looking at some points according to which I had defined myself, as particular likes and dislikes -- and then looking at whether these points are actually valid in terms of "defining me", as it turns out that they are purely contingent and dependent on one's environmental surroundings/upbringing.

I mentioned things like going out, music, books, etc. But there are other points one can look at.

For instance, I was born in Belgium, so that would make me a 'Belgian'. I was brought up within a catholic religious context, so that would make me a 'Catholic Christian'. I was brought up as someone's child, someone's daughter, someone's sibling -- which implies a specific relationship to the people in my family in contrast to everyone else in the world.

But what if I was born in let's say Israel, and was brought up within a Jewish religious context. Then, I'd be 'Jewish'. But again, is this of any value? Is this really real?

As a child, we absorb all the information from our surrounding and from that create a blueprint from which we further specify and develop a particular personality.

Depending on where you are born and within what context you were brought up within, your personality / self-identity will change. It's kind of strange, because I've established that these points are completely random, where 'who I am' as 'who I believe myself to be' is dependent on conditioning from my external environment -- and this 'who I am', changes according to one's environment. So I can't say that because I was born in Belgium, that I am 'a Belgian', as this is just an idea, something I can tell myself to be but has no particular value. Yet, we take points like this and believe that these points of self-identity have meaning and value.

In Belgium for instance, especially in de Flanders part of the country -- we don't like people from the Netherlands. We call them 'Cheeseheads' and other names. But I mean, they're only Dutch because they were born in the Netherlands, they didn't really have any say in it -- there was no 'free choice' or 'free will' involved. So it's not really justifiable to attack other people, just because they have a different nationality (which is the basis of the Flanders not liking the Dutch, it's not substantiated other than it being a point of separation based on nationality).

So we have all these ideas about ourselves, about 'who we are' and 'what we like' and what our 'place' is in the world -- and these ideas are in essence, illusionary. But have a look at what we do with these ideas: Because we believe that we are of 'this religion', we will go and attack other people because they are of 'that religion'. That's like, stupid. You could have been a member of the religious group you're attacking if you had been born there, so what is the point?

If we look at what Life currently revolves around, as playing out 'who we are' as a personality -- it's actually quite disturbing. Because "I like this and that" and I am "this type of person", I will only buy these brands, and only buy that type of music, and I will only get along with people who are compatible with the identity that I've constructed over the years. So then we get to a point where we have a society based on consumerism, where everyone buys shit according to 'what they like', and it's not even what they really "like", it's only what they BELIEVE they like based on all the various inputs received from the environment, originating from parents, school, friends, media, ... If you look at it, it's really INSANE, and this is just insanity playing out on a personal level.

On a global level, we have ideas going on of "I am of this nation" and "I am of that nation" and "my nation is better than yours and I am going to beat you economically". So you end up with a world, where countries are competing, dominating, warring, killing, abusing -- and for what? Based on what? Based on these stupid little ideas that we've created about ourselves when we were kids, which developed into ideas as 'who we believe ourselves to be'.

All these little ideas and beliefs we've created about ourselves, have no purpose whatsoever, but to perpetuate consumerism, competition, domination -- and so in the end: Inequality.

Because what are all these little ideas saying that we have about ourselves? From the small ideas that "I like this music" to the "big" ideas of "I am going to exploit your country, simply because I can and it will make MY people more prosperous" -- all of these ideas are saying: This is who I am, and I am NOT like you -- we are separate and who I am is the right way to be, it's the better way to be -- and I will do whatever in my power to make sure that I am alright, and I don't give a crap what happens to anyone else -- because after all YOU'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!!!

But here's the catch: We're not different. We are all human beings, we were all born into this world, we were all babies, children once. And as we were children, we absorbed information from our environment, and created ideas about ourselves. And while the ideas we have about ourselves may differ, we are in the end still exactly the same.

Check out the DIP Lite course, a free course where one can investigate the identity one has built up for oneself, and find out what is really real.
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Thursday, 8 November 2012

Day 104: Identity Crisis: Am I Real or Am I the Product of Behavioural Conditioning?

Today as I was walking outside I was looking at the point of 'who I am' as 'who I believe myself to be' as my 'identity' or 'personality' if you like.

I looked at how I would define myself in terms of my self-identity as all the things that I like and dislike, and the things I am good and not good at (where I was specifically looking at it from the perspective of who I was a few years ago, as it was then more prominent/clear).

So, I would for instance note that, I like music, I like watching movies, I like going out to concerts, I like reading, I like wearing particular style of clothing, I was into art/graphics, ...

Then I looked at, okay -- where do these points come from? And I saw that they mostly originated from either my family surrounding and/or friends/school surrounding.

Reading was encouraged at home, my brother and sister listened to the music I liked, my clothing I copied from my school/friends...

If I had been born in a a different family, a different environment -- would I still have been the same person? Would I still like the same things? Would I still be good and interested in the same things?

So then, looking at the points that we usually look at when we look at 'who we are' and 'what defines us' -- these points become pretty irrelevant, because they are purely coincidental.

If I had been a feral child, growing up with wolves -- would I like the same music if I heard it? No -- because it wasn't part of my upbringing, it wasn't part of my environment. So, when I say "I like this and that music" -- what does this really mean, because I've just established that this 'like' is purely coincidental, in terms of being related to where I was brought up ( which is coincidental, you don't know where you're going to end up being born). I can't really say that "I" like this music, as it being an inherent part of 'who I am', because it could have easily been otherwise - so it's not valid. So is it then of any value, is it of any relevance? Yet, I will judge people and form opinions about them based on what music they like, what clothes they wear, etc. -- which isn't really fair, considering that 'who they are' as a personality and their personal identity is also just the product of their environment.

So who am I? What makes me, me? What's the purpose of Life if not following my personality which I've built up / accumulated throughout my life?


To be continued...


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Friday, 28 September 2012

Day 64: Holding on to Myself

This Blog is a continuation to:
Day 62: There Must be Something Wrong!
Day 63: Keeping the Wheels Turning

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not experiencing anything

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having an energy experience to guide me / tell me what to do

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must be embalmed within some form of energy experience as feeling/emotion/thought in order to ‘make sense’ of my reality without seeing and realising that within the very moment I trust feelings/thoughts/emotions to ‘make sense’ of my reality I am in fact exercising judgment within interpreting what is happening inside me and outside of me as my environment and within that thus actually ‘make something up’ instead of directly seeing how things operate/function

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being here without any thoughts/feelings/emotions as that is all that I have ever known / trusted – and so I fear stepping out of comfort zone as energy and step into the unknown/undiscovered within fear of losing myself as energy as personality as ‘who I believe myself to be’ – without seeing/realising/understanding that ‘who I am’ as emotions/feelings/thoughts is merely the product/result of the accumulation of the past as memories and as such does not ‘mean’ anything or does not have any particular ‘value’ – because if my past was different my memories would have been different and as such my thoughts/feelings/emotions and so my personality/Identity as ‘who I believe myself to be’ would be completely different – and so there is no point holding on to self as identify as it is merely brought about by coincidence and is in no way absolute, stable

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of identity/personality as ‘individuality’ within the belief that I will be ‘lost’ and ‘not know what to do’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that within holding on to identity/personality my behaviour/actions/conduct will always be limited to serve and preserve my self-interest as the continued existence of my Character as ‘who I believe myself to be’ – and will thus never take the step/make the decision to look beyond my own limited existence as a Character and thus not move myself to change my actions/behaviour/conduct to facilitate a world/existence that is best for all

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that as long as I am here living within the starting point of preserving myself as a Character I will never stand up for what is Real – and since I have already seen that my character is simply the conglomeration of memories as past experiences which together form a body as personality which is completely random and determined by where you were born and what social/political/cultural/economic environment one was born into – it has no specific value and might as well be given up as it will never stand the test of time


When and as I see myself going into fear when seeing that I am not experiencing anything as energy as thought/feeling or emotion – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I do not require such energy to exist and that these points are merely in place to ensure my continued survival as a limited Character which will never look beyond itself – and so I commit myself stop the fear, ground myself within and as Breath, letting the fear flow out – and allow myself to look at what is actually relevant and acting accordingly instead of trusting/being dependent on energy as experience as emotions/feelings/thoughts to tell me what to do

When and as I see myself being ‘wobbly’ and ‘unstable’ within seeing that I am not experiencing anything and believing that I need to experience something to tell me what to do – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that any experience of the mind as energy as thoughts/feelings and emotions are always limited to what has been before as the past as where they originate from – and so if I allow myself to determine my direction and movement by energy as thoughts/feelings and emotions I will never grow and expand myself but only further lock/encage myself within my already limited existence as energy – and so I commit myself to let go of this fear and ground myself within and as my human physical body within breath and to trust myself to behave myself according to principle as what is Best for All Life instead of energy s what is Best for My Character only

When and as I see myself not experiencing anything in particular and believing that I must quickly find something to experience within the believe that I require experience as energy as thoughts/feelings and emotions to ‘make sense’ of my reality – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that ‘making sense’ is ‘fabricating sense’ as creating an illusion and so I commit myself to snap myself out of my fear and ground myself here within and as the physical as breath and trust COMMON SENSE as what here and does not have to be ‘made up’

When and as I see myself fearing ‘not being me anymore’ as identity/personality/character – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this ‘me’ is merely the conglomeration of memories where this identity/character/personality as ‘who I believe myself to be’ is the product/result/embodiment of and has no real value, as it is purely coincidental as if I had lived another life under different circumstances me as character would have been different, and so ‘who I am’ as ‘who I believe myself to be’ as no real value and is only here to entertain/distract myself from embracing myself as the Real Character as my Human Physical Body and so I commit myself to stop my fear within the realisation that I have valued the wrong character and ground myself within and as Breath as my Human Physical Body as the only thing about my personal existence which is Real

I commit to show that no Character is of any value which is clearly revealed/shown within all the various Portal interviews with beings from the Afterlife – where beyond the point of Death they are stripped of all Personality as ‘who they believed themselves to be’ and ‘who others believed them to be’ – and all that is left is a single voice as Principle, where no matter what being comes through the Portal the message is always the same as Equality and Oneness as What is Best for All
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