Day 195: Giving up on Myself - No More Head in the Clouds

This blog is a continuation to: 
Day 190: Giving up on Myself - The Spoiled Brat Syndrome 
Day 191: Giving up on Myself - My Life is so Rough (Part 2) 
Day 192: Giving up on Myself - Happiness Drone (Part 3)
Day 193: Giving up on Myself - The Quick Fix Cycle (Part 4)

Day 194: Giving up on Myself - Idea of Roughness (Part 5)

When and as I see myself take my reality for granted, where I make use of things without investigating how it got in my life and what its implications are -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise how consequential such an attitude can be and so I commit myself to investigate all points in my reality to put myself in a position where I can make informed decisions within the principle of Prevention is the Best Cure and Give to another as you would Like to Receive


When and as I see myself being apathetic -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that apathy is part of the problem within the world as a reaction to a world of inequality and injustice – but not a solution and so I commit myself to move myself out of apathy as passive resistance and to instead engage myself actively within ensuring that I use my time / every breath effectively within contributing towards the establishment of World Equality as a World I would like to live in

When an as I see myself not wanting to do something which I see requires to be done or not wanting to do what someone asks me to do because I don't want to give up what I am currently doing and the 'positive'/'good vibe' energy charge connected to it -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am basing my experience on energy variables as attachments to definitions and within that base my decisions upon my experience which was determined by energy/definition – which has no relation to common sense mathematical reasoning or consideration in anyway whatsoever and so I commit myself to disregard the charges and to see within common sense practicality whether or not I am able to do what was asked and move myself accordingly and I commit myself to investigate the various positive and negative charges I accepted and allowed myself to attach to particular tasks/engagements as word definition and to clear them through Self forgiveness and redefine them


When and as I see myself wanting to be cared for -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that if I want to be cared for I have to first take care of myself and be willing to take care of others as a point of principle and example and thus this is what I commit myself to do


When and as I see myself believe that I am better / more important than other people -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I do not want to be on the opposite end as being seen as less than and less important but would like to be considered equally in all things and thus I commit myself to do the same for others within the principle of Give as you would Like to Receive


When and as I see myself not caring about other people -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I would not want to be in a position where people do not care about me and thus I commit myself to care for others as I would like to be cared for within the principle of Give as you would Like to Receive


When and as I see myself believe that I have a right to comfort -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I cannot demand and complain about ‘my right to comfort’ as long as I am doing shit about other people having been denied a life of comfort due to greed and self-interest and so I commit myself to stop greed and self-interest within me and to engage myself and use my time effectively to ensure that whatever I do benefits the whole – where my own personal desire for comfort is not allowed to compromise or prolong the discomfort for others

When and as I see myself just 'wanting to do nothing' -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am coming from an energetic polarity experience where I perceive myself to ‘have done a lot’ and now want to reward myself with ‘doing nothing’ – where all I am looking at and considering are internal energy experiences which have got nothing to do with reality and what is Best for All and so I commit myself to stop and investigate my experience and align myself in breath to ensure that my decisions are based on variables which actual matter and contribute to physical reality


When and as I see myself wanting to experience something 'positive' after having experienced something 'negative' -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am only taking into consideration limited amount of information as only ‘how I experience myself’ without looking beyond myself and that I am still looking at experiences in separation of myself where I believe a ‘something’ will give me this or that experience, not seeing and realising that I am the one who decided to experience myself negatively within doing one thing and decided to experience myself positively within doing another thing – and then place the responsibility of ‘how I am going to experience myself’ unto other things/beings – abdicating my self-responsibility completely and so I commit myself to investigate my energy attachments and to disregard any mind energy variables within decision making


When and as I see myself wanting to 'take a break' and wanting to 'zone out' from a starting point of "I am unavailable to do anything else" -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am making a decision based on my limited reality/experience as mind and am not taking into consideration that reality does not work according to ‘my rules’ and ‘what I feel like doing / not doing’ and that things require to be done and can happen whether I am up for it or not and so I commit myself to snap out my ‘unavailable’ zone and bring myself here in reality, in breath, in my body


When and as I see myself wanting to experience something positive as a 'quick fix' to charge myself up so I can continue with my day -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is reactive behaviour which will only repeat itself without every changing anything in fact and so I commit myself to investigate the origin/cause of my ‘energy depletion’ which requires a ‘fix’ so that I can correct myself and direct myself within common sense rather than being a slave to / being energy dependent

Related articles

• Day 194: Giving up on Myself - Idea of Roughness
• Day 193: Giving up on Myself - The Quick Fix Cycle
• Day 192: Giving up on Myself - Happiness Drone (Part 3)
• Day 191: Giving up on Myself - My Life is so Rough (Part 2)
• Day 178: Fail-You-Are - Redefining Failure

Day 194: Giving up on Myself - Idea of Roughness

Day 190: Giving up on Myself - The Spoiled Brat Syndrome 
Day 191: Giving up on Myself - My Life is so Rough (Part 2) 
Day 192: Giving up on Myself - Happiness Drone (Part 3)
Day 193: Giving up on Myself - The Quick Fix Cycle

When and as I see myself react to someone asking me to do something within an attitude of 'No, it's too much, I had SUCH a rough day' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am responding from reaction wherein I have accepted and allowed myself to attach a negative energy charge to the day / activities I did and where I am now reacting to the prospect of more activities to which I have attached a negative energy charge -- where I believe that I had 'enough' negative experiences and can't handle more -- not seeing and realising that it is not about the activities/tasks that I did or might do -- but about the charges that I had attached to them, and thus I am not so much reacting to what it is another is asking me to do, but the energy I have attached to it -- and so I commit myself to stop, breathe, let go and ground myself in my human physical body and simply do what is asked of me

When and as I see myself believing that I have a rough life -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I have created an idea about what 'a rough life' means, where I accepted and allowed myself to base my definition of roughness on a mental experience of negativity -- and where this energy experience is self-created and thus not so much my life being rough as me giving myself a hard time within attaching negative energy experiences to my life and what I do / go through -- and so I commit myself to stop, breathe -- take responsibility for my self-created experience of roughness within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

When and as I see myself react when seeing that something needs to be done or someone asks me to do something wherein I think 'Ugh no, let someone else do it' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am coming from a reaction where I allowed an accumulation of negative experiences to build up within me and where the prospect of another 'negative experience' is seen as 'the last drop that spills the bucket' and where I thus resist doing what I see requires to be done / do what is asked of me -- and so I commit myself to do what is asked of me and to investigate the process of accumulation that occurred to assist and support myself in becoming more effective in identifying where I am still reacting

When and as I see myself huff and puff and protest when someone asks me to do something -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that this reaction is an indication that I have not been breathing effectively and have been allowing reactions to build up and accumulate and so I commit myself to stop, breathe and practice in breath awareness as I go about my day

When and as I see myself wanting things for 'free' and 'without charge' where I want to just 'get it' without having to do anything for it -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am entitled to free things without considering the actual costs / consequences involved and so I commit myself to remind myself that nothing is for free and that someone always pays the price and so I commit myself to take on my responsibility and to ensure that I minimize consequence for myself and others within the principle of prevention is the best cure and do unto another as you would like to be done unto yourself

When and as I see myself access the believe that 'I have the right to only ever do whatever I want' -- I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this principle is not universally applicable / practical, and if it not feasible for everyone then it is not a principle to live by and so I commit myself to snap out of this brainwashing as it’s unsustainable nature causes much harm and abuse and commit myself to take responsibility and do my part within contributing to make our living environment work for everyone – both at home and on a global scale

Related articles

• Day 191: Giving up on Myself - My Life is so Rough (Part 2)
• Day 298 - To soft To Kind for the Job, Commitments Part 3.
• Day 193: Giving up on Myself - The Quick Fix Cycle
• Day 192: Giving up on Myself - Happiness Drone (Part 3)
• Day 311: The Secret to Self-Realisation

Day 150: How Dare you make me Feel Bad?

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 130: Holding Myself Back
Day 131: Timidity
Day 139: Taking things Personal is Self-Interest
Day 140: Opting for Avoidance over Change
Day 141: Why are you so Mean to Me?
Day 142: Respecting Beliefs
Day 143: Busted!
Day 144: Moving Beyond Self
Day 145: From Reaction to Self-Reflection
Day 149: Interpretation vs Seeing & Correcting

When and as I see myself react to someone saying something which ‘makes me feel bad’ within interpreting them as a ‘bad person’ that is ‘being mean’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am accessing the belief that no-one has the right to ‘make me feel bad’ and is only allowed to do and say things that generate ‘happy feelings’ and so I commit myself to let go of this belief system as I have seen and realised that it is a belief of compromise and allow myself to hear what the person is saying regardless of my reactions to the words spoken and I commit myself to work through any reactions that arise through Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements / Application

When and as I see myself react when someone says something to another, the other starts crying or displays other forms of behaviour that clearly indicate that they are ‘feeling bad’, where I see and believe the person who made the comment to be ‘evil’ and should not have said whatever it is they said regardless of the content of the message, simply because someone reacted badly to it and believe they should be punished for what they did – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am playing out a belief system based on the past as memories where a figure of authority ineffectively dealt with a similar situation, because we have accepted and allowed ourselves to value a ‘happiness society’ that does not take into consideration what consequences stem forth from this happiness, where happiness must be preserved at all times regardless of any practical common sense considerations and so I commit myself to let go of this belief as I’ve seen its limitation and commit myself to work with what is here as the words spoken instead of reaction and interpretation

When and as I see myself react to words spoken to me within wanting to cry from the starting point of wanting to make a point as ‘look what a mean person this is, look at what they are doing to me’ as a way to shift the attention away from me to the other person within attempting to put them in a ‘bad light’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am manipulating myself and trying to manipulate others around me so that I am able to sabotage myself within not having to look at what was being said and having to possibly change – and so I commit myself to stop and look at what it is that I am trying to protect within wanting to go into manipulation and actually hear the words being spoken


When and as I see myself go into an experience of feeling bad/hurt/violated as a reaction to something someone said and within that become completely deaf to what was said and completely indulge myself into the experience of feeling bad/hurt/violated and not being able to ‘believe’ how one could ‘do this to me’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise I am utilising this as a distraction technique to not have to look at what was being said and what this implies about my application, but rather want to point fingers at the other and how ‘they’ have to change because ‘look at what they are doing to me’ and so I commit myself to stop the self-manipulation as drowning myself within emotions and backchat and actually hear what was said and reflect this back to myself and assess my application accordingly


When and as I see myself wanting to say something to another but foresee the possibility that they may possibly feel hurt / cry and within that decide to not speak / hold back within ‘not wanting to be mean’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am acting upon a response pattern based the past as memories which I have seen and realised are not good examples to live by and so I commit myself to let go of the fear of ‘being seen as mean’ and look at whether what I want to say is relevant or not and speak accordingly


When and as I see myself believe that my experience of feeling hurt/crying as a reaction to conflict/anger is genuine/real – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that when things just ‘happen to me’ that I am not being the directive principle and that as such it cannot be ‘genuinely me’ as I did not genuinely in full self-awareness bring about this experience, but merely happened as a ‘reaction’ and so I commit myself to not accept my experience at face value but to investigate where it comes from and walk through it within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements / Application so that I can move from reaction to seeing

Related articles

• Day 149: Interpretation vs Seeing & Correcting
• Day 145: From Reaction to Self-Reflection
• Day 144: Moving Beyond Self
• Day 137: Re-Acting Reactive Reactions
• Day 141: Why are you so Mean to Me?
• Day 108: Compromising Over Fear

Day 142: Respecting Beliefs

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 130: Holding Myself Back
Day 131: Timidity
Day 139: Taking things Personal is Self-Interest
Day 140: Opting for Avoidance over Change
Day 141: Why are you so Mean to Me?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that there was only ‘one way’ to have fun / enjoyment within playing around with the computer as ‘my way’ which was only within consideration of myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have held on to the idea of fun/enjoyment as how I had defined it within myself which was within the starting point of self-interest within doing things ‘my way’ and how I wanted to explore things – without taking into consideration how ‘my way of fun’ may possible affect others

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when faced with conflict/friction as my father being angry when things would go wrong with the pc after me playing around with – have gone into the polarity point of ‘doing it in secret’ or ‘not doing it at all’ from the starting point of the belief that ‘my way of doing things’ was ‘the right way’ and ‘the only way’ where instead of looking how I could change what I was doing to a way that was considerate of other people in my reality I only cared about myself and my own self-enjoyment and was not willing to give this up for the sake of improving things for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that my ‘fun/play-time’ would not be ‘fun’ anymore if I have to change/adapt myself into consideration of others, where I made the decision to do it in ‘secret’ or ‘not at all’ because I was not willing to change and wanted to hold on to my idea of ‘fun’ and believed that if I start changing my methods that takes into consideration others that this completely ‘ruins’ the point and that it is then useless

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have taken on the stance of ‘it’s my way’ or ‘no way’ in terms of how I wanted to have fun, where any change to how I believed what ‘fun’ consisted of was completely unacceptable and was not willing myself to change ‘my way’ to a way that fits everyone else better as well, where instead of looking at where I am coming from, seeing that I am acting from within self-interest and correcting my behaviour – I went into a form of spitefulness within moving myself into secrecy or ‘not doing it at all’ to “protest” and show my “resistance” to what had been shown to me – not seeing and realising that this was not getting me anywhere but only further perpetuating my own self-limitation within only ever taking myself into consideration and in no way be willing to consider others in my reality, which is me only tightening my self-entrapment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to have fun ‘my way’ no matter the consequence or repercussion of this ‘my way’ – where I believed/perceived any criticism to ‘my way’ as a direct attack/violation of my ‘beingness’ as if they were attacking me personally – not seeing and realising that what was pointed out to me that the way I was doing things was flawed and could be improved in a way that takes others into consideration as well – but where I did not even consider this perspective because I was too busy being offended / feeling attacked, where all I could think about was the ‘grave offense’ that had been done unto me as criticising ‘who I am’ where I believed this was something one could simply NOT do, as I believed that everyone was born with a particular “god given” expression and that one thus has no choice in ‘who one is’ and that any such criticism is thus out of the question

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must respect others’ expressions, attitudes, beliefs and behaviour no matter what – where everyone has the right to ‘be themselves’ and where I thus also demand that other respect my expressions, attitudes, beliefs and behaviour as some form of sacred/holy grail that is not allowed to be touched – and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider the consequences and implications of such an acceptance and allowance, where within this one belief one allows and accepts all forms of abuse to take place within this world, just on this one point

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that it is not okay to not question one’s believes, expression, attitudes and behaviour when these are in clear misalignment and violation with what is Best for All Life – which is basically like saying that everyone is allowed to harm anything and anyone if it pleases them so which is completely unacceptable

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the ‘unique expression’ each one has that I believed to be “god-given” and is “without any choice” is merely the result/outcome of one’s environment, upbringing and education – where one’s “expression” as ‘who one is ‘ is the result of one’s acceptances and allowances and in no way ‘holy’ or ‘sacred’ or ‘specific to the being’ but merely the result of input/output – and as such, any criticism towards how one expresses oneself is a criticism to one’s acceptance and allowance – which then require to be investigated and addressed accordingly

Related articles

• Day 140: Opting for Avoidance over Change
• Day 141: Why are you so Mean to Me?
• Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!
• Day 134: Living by the Rule of Fear
• Don't you Dare Blaming me - Overview - Day 244
• Dag 73: Afraid of Petrification

Day 128: Sigh - Part 6

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 123: An Innocent Sigh?
Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words
Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!
Day 126: Sigh - Part 4
Day 127: Sigh - Part 5

When and as I see myself access the belief that I do not have to consider other people or things because I am not aware of them and should only tend to my own self interest as MY experience and others should do the same for themselves – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that within not wanting to consider others and how they may be experiencing themselves (as a result of m actions) I am stating that I do not want to have anything to do with anything that goes beyond me and my comfort zone, to ensure that I do not have to change and so I commit myself to push myself out of my comfort zone and within every moment and every decision look whether I am only taking my own self-interest at heart or whether I am taking at heart the Interest of All within the understanding and realisation that my participation and life on earth is not an isolated manifestation but one that affects each and every one – just as theirs affect mine and thus understand that the only common sensical way for all to be in harmony is by acting and moving myself within what is Best for All Life

When and as I see myself access / play out the belief that since I have experiences and can only experience me and nothing/no-one else, that this means I am special – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that it is actually quite in reverse, where me being only aware and only being able to experience is very limited and inferior in relation to being aware and experiencing as part of the whole in unison – but where instead of acknowledging that my separation of the whole is in fact of a point of self-diminishment I have accepted and allowed myself to give it a ‘positive twist’ as to not question and thus change my current status and so I commit myself to investigate the point of ‘individuality’ within me and what this entails/implies within me and my existence and to study how I am separating myself from the whole and walk my journey to life

When and as I see myself make decisions within the reasoning of ‘why should I do it? I don’t see how that is my problem, I am not the one having an issue/experiencing a problem – what’s in it for me?’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is the very same capitalistic thought that has brought our world into ruins through the economic and monetary system of the world, where no one cares about anyone but themselves and so I commit myself to stop such abusive thoughts/backchat/attitudes/opinions as they are in direct violation of what is Best for All Life and the principle of Responsibility and move myself to make decisions within placing myself in the shoes of others

When and as I see myself getting upset when something is not going my way such as the internet being slow within the belief that I have ‘my right to happiness’ and that ‘nothing and no-one should stand in my way of MY happiness’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am living in direct contradiction within expecting everything and everyone to change for MY happiness but do not take into consideration what this ‘rule’ of mine would mean if it were to be applied to everyone – because if I have my right to happiness then everyone else also has their right to happiness which means that I should adjust/change the way I do things to not only be limited to my happiness but must act in way that is Best for All and so I commit myself to stop participating within the expectation that things should change to fit me and instead look at what role I play within the whole and make sure that my actions are not stemming from a stance of inequality

I commit myself to change my values within walking my Journey to Life to stand as Life being the only real value on Earth and have Equality as what is Best for All to be my guiding principle within every moment

When and as I see myself access the belief that ‘I am a good person’ because I once in a while will not have backchat just about myself – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am deluding myself within believing that because I have reactions that not just consider me that this means that ‘I am a good person’ while most of the time I am only consumed by my own self-interest and thus inherently evil and will use ‘positivity’ to cover up the evil in me and so I commit myself to investigate and explore what it is to actually care about life and not live an existent limited to only my self-interest

Related articles

• Day 126: Sigh - Part 5
• Day 126: Sigh - Part 4
• Day 125: I am the Centre of the Universe!
• Day 97: Don't you just LOVE Complaining? - Part 2
• Day 124: *Sigh* - a Sound says More than a Thousand Words

Day 111: Is Crying a Sign of Weakness?

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 109: Stop Crying! Everyone's watching You!
Day 110: Fear as Quick Fix Parenting Technique

 

When and as I see myself react to feeling like crying or seeing another cry/about to cry and react to this within thinking and judging it as being ‘weak’, ‘shameful’ and something that ‘shouldn’t be done in public’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise where this idea comes from as an idea that is imposed unto reality and has no valid basis – and so I commit myself to let go of the ideas and judgments and allow myself to be here and ground myself within and as my human physical body through breath


When and as I see myself listening to an authority figure such as parents – and simply accepting every word which is being said without looking at its implications and testing it for myself – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am allowing myself to ‘zone out’ and just absorb which is a form of abdicating self-responsibility, where I place the accuracy of the information as a responsibility of the authority figure where I am not in a position to question this – and so I commit myself to snap out of this zombie mode and listen actively to every word spoken and test the words to see if they are indeed common sense and best for all


When and as I see myself reacting to someone telling me to stop doing something because everyone is looking at me and then considering to stop because of this argument – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that “everyone’s watching you” is only a valid argument if I allow it to be, but is only valid if one allows fear of what others think of you to have power over oneself and so I commit myself to within that moment stop, breathe and check what is actually going on instead of immediately wanting to stop due to the all wining “everyone’s watching you” argument


I commit myself to disengage the relationship connections within myself between ‘crying’ and: ‘weak’, ‘shameful’ and ‘not in public’


When and as I see myself getting angry/irritated at someone when they use the ‘Stop doing this or that, everyone’s watching you’-card – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am only angry because I am accepting and allowing the “Stop doing this or that, everyone’s watching you’-card to work in terms of allowing it to induce a negative energy charge/experience within me upon which I then stop whatever I am doing, because I do fear everyone watching me – and so I commit myself to assume Self-Responsibility within not participating within reactions of anger/irritation and to not let the factor of ‘everyone’s watching you’ to play a role within my Self-Direction


When and as I see myself experiencing a negative energy charge to the point of crying as ‘weakness’, ‘shame’ and ‘embarrassment’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am acting upon a programmed response-pattern integrated during childhood and so I commit myself to correct myself and let go of the associations of weakness, shame and embarrassment and to unconditionally explore the manifestation of crying as myself


When and as I see myself reacting within anger to someone using my own emotions against me – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that there is no-one to blame but myself through allowing myself to be directed and stimulated by emotions and feelings to guide my actions rather than common sense principled living – and so I commit myself to snap out of the anger/blame mode and take responsibility for my inner-reality


When and as I see myself wanting to hide or suppress my tears when I feel tears well-up – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am still holding on to the belief that crying is ‘weak’, ‘shameful’ and ‘embarrassing and should thus not be done in public’ and so I commit myself to not suppress and hide but cry right then and there just to get over with it


When and as I see myself access the belief that ‘people will think badly of you’ is a valid argument as to why one should not do something – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is just one of the many belief patterns we copy blindly from our parents as society as being a ‘valid’ and ‘meaningful’ argument, while it is not at all – and so I commit myself to disengage this belief and allow myself to use practical common sense insight


When and as I see myself accessing the belief that doing anything where people might possibly be thinking badly of you as being a ‘ No No’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is simply a belief, and beliefs can be disregarded and so I commit myself to let go and not use this factor as a meaningful component in my every day decision-making


When and as I see myself wanting to use negative reinforcement to get someone to behave the way I want them to, by deliberately saying and doing things of which I know will create a negative experience inside the other that will ‘shut them down’ as wanting a ‘quick fix’ to whatever I am faced with – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that such a reaction as a ‘quick fix’ does not come without consequence and is thus not a real fix at all and so I commit myself to within those moments breathe, slow down, investigate what is going on and act within common sense rather than impulsiveness as fear


I commit myself to bring about a world where Parents are educated in the ways of the Mind so that they can be Fit Parents capable of parenting and educating their children to truly prepare them to Live Effectively within this world as will happen within an Equal Money System

Related articles

• Day 109: Stop Crying! Everyone's watching You!
• Day 110: Fear as Quick Fix Parenting Technique
• Day 95: Mourning as Excuse to have Pity-Party - Part 2
• Day 78: Self-Rejection
• Day 94: Mourning as Excuse to have Pity-Party

Day 108: Compromising Over Fear

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 106: Regret
Day 107: Showing my True Colours

When and as I see myself in a situation where something requires direction and then imagine myself what I would have to do to give it direction and within that react within fear towards the steps involved, and allow this fear to direct me where I 'walk away' from doing what requires to be done from the starting point of fear of facing my fear -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that these fear points are not valid reasons as to why I should not do what needs to be done, and so I commit myself to not allow myself to let fear direct me but commit myself to stand as the directive principle and move myself to act according to principle instead of experience

When and as I see myself in a situation where something needs to be done, and see that there may be certain 'complications' as per my interpretation of things -- and then allow my fear of moving through those points be part of the decision-making equation -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that these fear factors do not belong in a decision-making equation that concerns what is best for all life, as I have seen, realised and understood that emotions and feelings open a door to compromise and abuse within making decisions, and so I commit myself to reassess my priorities and remove the fear factors from the equation and work with what is actually relevant

When and as I see myself in a situation where something requires to be done, but have 'reservations' about this -- where I hesitate and doubt whether I should or shouldn't give it direction, and where I will look at how intense my fear is and how much I care about requires to be done -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am working with a dysfunctional value system within myself, where I am valuing self-limitation as fear more than doing what is best for all life -- where I rather hold on to my limited existence of non-change than walking out of my comfort zone and do something real

When and as I see myself in a situation where something requires to be done, and weigh out my fears in relation to the steps I have to take and compare it to the weight of 'how much I care' about what needs to be done -- where this doesn't even necessarily carry any energetic charge, as it's just a seeing that it requires to be done -- and then decide that because my fear is so intense that I should side with that and then walk away and feel a constriction in my chest knowing that I am cheating myself and being a coward by walking away from what needs to be done out of fear of walking through change -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that this experience is here for a reason, and that if my decision has been clear, there would be no such experience present and so I commit myself to stop, retrace my steps and correct myself before it is too late

When and as I see myself in a situation where something require to be done, and see that I may have to explain myself to figures of authority as to why I am doing what I am doing and where they may possibly disagree -- and based on that do not want to commit myself to do what needs to be done -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I have created an idea about 'authority' as if it something that you can't do anything about, or where it is difficult to get through -- where I've accepted and allowed myself throughout my life to place blind trust within the concept of authority without every questioning if what they stand for is in fact substantial and real and where I've accepted and allowed myself to experience myself as being intimidated and set myself up to simply obey as to not cause any trouble-- and so I commit myself to walk through my fear of dealing with authority and commit myself to investigate the concept of authority within me through self reflective writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements and application, so that I no longer accept and allow myself to compromise myself out of fear but stand by principle

When and as I see myself in a situation where something requires direction, and where I see I might face resistance on what I want to do coming from figures of authority, and then within that immediately want to 'withdraw' myself from the situation where I do not want to do anything and just 'walk away' out of the fear/belief that I will not be confident enough to explain myself and make a fool out of myself and get into trouble -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that a situation like this shows me where I still require to work on myself, in this case 'self-confidence' and so I commit myself to take note of the points I have to work on, but do not allow these points to have a space in my decision-making and instead walk through the fear and gift myself an opportunity to change

When and as I see myself in a situation where something requires direction but let fear override common sense practical consideration and then make myself feel less bad about my decision through employing positive, hopeful thoughts that make what I just did 'seem okay' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and reaise that those 'positive' and 'cheerful' thoughts reveal the true nature of me as dark and evil, where I am more concerned with maintaining my limited existence of self interest than doing something which is in the best interest of all -- where instead of seeing what I have done and be frank about it with myself, I use positive thoughts to cover up my actions and suppress what little common sense was left in me

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