Day 215: Arguments of Convenience – Part 2

This blog is in continuation to:
Day 211: Don't Be So Ridiculous!
Day 212: Time is Money
Day 213: Arguments of Convenience
Day 214: Time is Money – Part 2

When and as I see myself go into an energetic experience of futility and ridiculousness whenever I am doing something which I perceive as 'non-productive' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that no-one is imposing this experience on me but me -- and so I commit myself to stop, breathe, ground myself within and as my human physical body and focus on the task at hand

When and as I see myself go into an energetic experience of guilt when I am doing something which I perceive as 'non-productive' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that the guilt forms part of the Policeman in the Head Morality Construct -- where I  don't need anyone to tell me anymore what I should and shouldn't do as I have already internalized the values of the system within me, where I feel guilt and shame towards the policeman in my head within doing something which I labeled as 'non-productive'. I commit myself to breathe, let go of the energetic charge as guilt as I see and realise that I am both the observer as the policeman and the observed as the one experiencing the guilt and I make the directive decision to not participate in either -- and to be here as breath, within and as my human physical body

When and as I see myself looking at an activity which I know within myself I should really do now / seeing that this point requires attention NOW but experience resistance in relation to the point upon which I then conjure up the thought/excuse 'that this is not a productive activity'-- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am merely coming up with the excuse that 'it is not productive' as reason/justification why it is okay for me to not do this right now and to cover up/disguise the actual experience of inherent resistance towards the activity/task -- where I make it seem like it is 'nothing personal', but just that 'it's not productive' where playing out this theatric I am attempting to show/tell myself that 'there is nothing going on here' and can just 'continue to go about my business' and thus I commit myself to stop the kidding of myself and instead acknowledge the presence of resistance and allow myself to push through / work with the point instead of painting it to be something else

When and as I see myself downplaying the importance of self-investigation and self-exploration as acts of self-intimacy within telling myself 'not now' and 'this isn't helping anyone right now' -- I stop and I breathe --  I see and realise that I am kidding myself / sabotaging myself because I have seen and realised and understood the importance of self-intimacy for the development of self-honesty as an important point to bring about change within this world and is not something to just be 'waved away'. I thus commit myself to remind myself of what I have seen and realised and to deal with any resistances that come up within the moment towards the point of self-intimacy

When and as I see myself being faced with a task which needs to be done which could be categorized as 'productive' but experience resistance towards the point/activity/task and then conjure up the thought that 'I need some time for myself' as an excuse to not deal with the point, where I rather go do some writing or exercise -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I am trying to dress up my decision as being 'principle based' by conjuring up thoughts as arguments which conveniently suit the situation as what I want to do per the energy I am experiencing. I thus commit myself to acknowledge the experience of resistance, that it is just a matter of 'me not wanting to do it' and move myself to do it as a self-directive self-moved decision to show to myself that I can move myself beyond energy and I commit myself to investigate the nature of the resistance so that I can practically work through it

Day 192: Giving up on Myself - Happiness Drone (Part 3)

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 190: Giving up on Myself - The Spoiled Brat Syndrome 
Day 191: Giving up on Myself - My Life is so Rough (Part 2)

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the ease of my life was only possible by someone else compensating/making up for it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been completely ignorant in relation to my reality and what was behind my reality to make it possible for me to live the life I had

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had the right to only ever to do 'what I want' without seeing and realising that if this would have been a universal principle we'd all be dead right now because some things simply need to be done to make life possible whether I /we want to do it or not

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that one can only do 'what I want' if one has money -- where if you have money and others don’t you have leverage to get people to do the things you want them to do to get what you want in life -- where this is only possible if others stand in service/bondage to you through money -- where we end up in a world where a few have a lot of money and everyone else's life is in service for those few to live their dream while sacrificing their life and any form of dignity in the process

I forgive myself that i haven't accepted and allowed myself to ever look at the things I had in life and ask myself 'where do they come from', 'who made them', 'how did it get here', 'what resources was used to make this'-- where within not asking these basic questions I was indicating that I don't care who made it and how it got here, how this may have affected other people/the earth and that all I care about is that I have it and can use it as I please so that I can have 'my happiness'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have become a happiness drone where all I care about is experiencing some energy/vibe that 'makes me feel good and will fight, reject and avoid anything that may threaten MY happiness, not caring how this attitude may in turn affect other's people's happiness because I just don't care

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not care

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be cared for yet not wanting to return this service to others / care for others

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that within not caring for others I am tacitly giving permission to others to not care for me

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that being cared for but not caring for others comes at a cost

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that if I was at the other side of the coin in conditions of hardship, I would want someone to care about me and my situation

Related articles

• Day 311: The Secret to Self-Realisation
• Day 310: The Children of the Law of One (Part Three)