Day 33: Fear of Speaking - Part 5

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within moments where I want to say something to another which is 'against the grain' of what the person just said / did -- go into fear of how what I want to say might influence the other person's view / opinion of me -- where I will accept and allow myself to not speak from the starting point of fear as 'what if the person is not going to like me anymore if I say this'


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a little politician character inside my head, where whenever I want to say something I will first stop and consider how what I am about say might influence the other person's view of me -- where I want the other person to like me and not affect their 'liking score' of me negatively, and so I will rather keep quiet and say nothing even when the other person is acting / speaking in a way which is abusive, just so I can comfort myself that they 'still like me'


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that me deciding not to speak in a moment where I see clearly that another as me is not behaving in a way which is best for All and in fact being harmful, just because I want them to 'like' -- makes me as guilty of being harmful and abusive in the face of Life as within the moment of not speaking I am showing that I will not stand up for Life for the sake of 'being liked'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to behave myself according to 'wanting to be liked' instead of the principle of 'What is Best for All' -- where I will abusive behaviour go by 'unnoticed' because I fear the other person will not like me anymore if I say something about it, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value maintaining the popularity of my character and my 'PR' more than Life -- which is the only thing worth valuing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is 'normal' to want other people to 'like you' -- where it is acceptable and totally justified to act in a particular way if it means that it will get people to like you, without ever questioning the implications and consequences of such a principle, where within the moment of 'wanting to be liked' and acting upon it, one is giving permission to the Abuse of Life because one will do anything to maintain one's "popularity" -- even if it means that others get hurt just so one can be assured that they are still liked


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise, that me giving permission to others to act in a way which is not best for all, from the starting point of not wanting to be disliked, where others may get hurt in the process for the sake of me feeling good about myself -- is also me giving permission for others to act in a way which may hurt me for the sake of someone else being able to maintain their 'likes'


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that me not speaking within a moment where I see something is not 'right' as something which is not conductive to what is Best for All Life -- is me actually stabbing myself in the back as self-compromise -- because even though I may have achieved the other person to not 'like me less' -- I am now disliking myself for not speaking -- so what's the point?

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of 'wanting to be liked' unconditionally and what it implies, and within that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to thoroughly investigate the value systems which I have created and incorporated within myself -- and to deconstruct these and re-prioritize my values within valuing what is Best for All Life ALWAYS

Inflation Rates, Are they to be Trusted?

A short article in Farmer’s Weekly raised an interesting point: The Inflation Rates presented to us, can they be trusted?

The writer of the article gave the example of an incident where the water bills that residents in Jo’burg received were simply outrageous – and that the high amount was apparently due to ‘inflation factors’. The actual story was that the company that the municipality had hired (and already paid) to manage and draw up all the water bills fucked out along with the money – and the municipality had to hire a new firm that they now had to pay again... and for which the residents had to pay the price.

The inflation rates in this case were used as an excuse to demand outrageous amounts of money from residents to pay for “water” and to present an image of ‘scarceness’ (read = the fuck up of the municipality).

What numbers that are presented to us can be trusted? Are the resources really scarce or is it just a false representation for the sake of profit?

Stop Corruption, Stop Inefficiency, Vote for Equal Money!