Day 115: Food & The Religion of Self - Part 3

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 112: Food Preferences - Body or Mind?

Day 113: Food & The Religion of Self - Part 1  

Day 114: Food & The Religion of Self - Part 2

 

 

When and as I see myself access the belief that ‘because I just ate cucumber and my opinion of repulsion is matched by a reaction from my body to puke it out – my opinion must be real’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I already know the origin of this pattern, and that this pattern merely reveals to me the extent to which we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to abdicate our responsibility to the mind, where the mind is integrated and infused into the body to such an extent that it can even create physical reactions such as repulsion to particular foods, where the body merely obeys the mind in its belief of self-righteousness. And so I commit myself to stop my self-belief and move myself to eat the foods I perceive as ‘not tasty’ to assist and support myself to remove the emotional layers connected to them

When and as I see myself participate within thought patterns consisting of “I like this food” or “I don’t like that food” from a starting point of taste – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that these preferences are based on the past as memories and have got nothing to do with ‘who I am’ and ‘what makes me unique’ and has no particular value but the limitation it imposes on myself and my participation within reality and so I commit myself to stop participating within thought patterns of “I like this food” and “I don’t like that food” and ground myself within and as breath in and as my human physical body

I commit myself to challenge my taste preferences, whether it be cucumber or any other food that I dislike as well as any particular foods that I really like or favour – and to investigate within specificity the origin of these likes and dislikes and disengage them through Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements / Application
When and as I see myself holding a grudge towards anything or anyone – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this grudge originated from somewhere and indicate a point that has not yet been dealt with effectively and specifically and so I commit myself to investigate the point within myself and let it go

When and as I see myself believing that because I don’t like some food, and have tried it again and I still don’t like it – that this means that my judgment towards the food is valid – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I cannot just ‘expect’ that ‘all of a sudden’ my preferences will change, as this is decision as self-movement that I have to make for myself and practice, which I what I commit myself to do when faced with not liking a particular food’s taste

When and as I see myself experiencing an intense experience of disgust towards food such as cucumber, or anything or anyone for that matter – and where instead of investigating this and questioning it, immediately, blindly accept and allow it as ‘Oh okay, this is part of I who I am” and integrate it as part of my self-definition – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I was not born with such experiences towards anything or anyone, but was created at some place at some time and so I commit myself to investigate my experience and remove this as a layer of self-definition within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Writing and Application

When and as I see myself experience a like or dislike towards a particular food – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this experience was created at some point and that unless I ask myself where such experiences come form and question them, they will simply continue to exist within and as me, and so I commit myself to ask the right questions so that I can answers and to not take anything for granted

Day 114: Food & The Religion of Self - Part 2

This blog is a continuation to:

Day 112: Food Preferences - Body or Mind? 

Day 113: Food & The Religion of Self - Part 1

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I was sitting in the kitchen and making / having lunch and experiencing intense overall disgust towards my sister while the smell of cucumber was around -- have connected the cucumber as being an inherent part of my sister since this was one of the foods she regularly ate -- and within that redirected my experience of hate/disgust towards cucumber -- where from then on, each time I would smell or taste cucumber, I would experience an intense experience of disgust towards the cucumber and want to puke it out

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a complete zoned out zombie robot that simply takes in all the various stimuli in the environment and connects it to the image and experience I have before me -- and lock in the various senses to the image and experience, where these are now closely interconnected within myself so that each time of one these features pops up in my reality, I reload the memory within myself and experience the same energy as emotion/thought/feeling as I did then

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to ever before connect my experience of the disgust towards the cucumber to the memory of experiencing disgust towards my sister -- after all, I was there when it happened yet I accepted and allowed myself to be completely unaware of my inner experience and inner workings of the mind, where I take each experience on 'face value' without questioning it -- where I end up believing things such as "I hate cucumber" without ever questioning where this experience/opinion comes from

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because an experience is 'intense' -- that it must be real

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the 'disgust' I experience within smelling and tasting cucumber, is coming DIRECTLY from the cucumber and that I have no part, no say in this experience whatsoever

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to 'connect the dots' before -- where when I looked at it the other day, the experience back then towards my sister and the experience towards the cucumber was a 'perfect match' -- where I never made the connection between the two and believed these to be separate points

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made the cucumber the object of my hate and disgust, even long after my relationship with my sister changed

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been reluctant to teach myself to eat cucumber, within the belief that 'this is just the way it is' and within that in fact being reluctant to change 'who I am' as 'who I believe myself to be', where "I hate / don't like cucumber" was just another 'trait' that I made my own that I did not want to give up, because I saw it as being specific to 'who I am' and 'what makes me, me'

Day 113: Food & The Religion of Self - Part 1

This blog is a continuation to:

Day 112: Food Preferences - Body or Mind?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that I hate cucumber

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my belief that "I hate cucumber" was justified, because of the repulsion I would experience in my mind, and the repulsion I would experience in my body that wanted to puke out the cucumber

I forgive myself that I have never accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of likes and dislikes towards food -- but simply accepted that "I like this and that" and "I hate this and that" I thought it to be 'who I am' and part of what 'makes me unique' as a person

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of likes and dislikes towards food -- even when it is clear that this is a very strange phenomenon, seeing that each person in my family has got their different 'likes' and 'dislikes', without this being a shared point -- where two people eating the same food, one can like it and one can dislike it -- but if the food is the same and the person is different, then the point obviously lies in the person, and not in 'reality', as this would be conflicting

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the point of food preference for granted, where I believed that if I don't like cucumber now, I am not ever going to like it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed that the nature of the problem I experienced with cucumber was a physical point, while all the while it was an emotional point -- where I even at some point when to my doctor to see if there was something in common in the foods I didn't like that stimulated the puke response -- upon which my doctor said no but that I should just avoid those foods if they evoke such a response and laughed at the notion that maybe it was a "psychological" point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge towards cucumber without having a valid reason for it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been convinced of 'my right to judge' within experiencing disgust towards cucumber whenever I would smell it and taste -- where others would tell me to 'just eat it' to see if I would not like it and I didn't, and then used this to 'validate' my belief/opinion/idea/judgment about cucumber

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to find out/investigate where the intense experience/emotion of disgust comes from and thought it to be normal to have such extreme emotional experience towards something as ordinary as cucumber

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that food likes and dislikes must be created at some point and thus to trace back this experience -- where instead I waited for years and years before I asked the question, and after I asked it: I got an immediate answer

Day 33: Fear of Speaking - Part 5

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within moments where I want to say something to another which is 'against the grain' of what the person just said / did -- go into fear of how what I want to say might influence the other person's view / opinion of me -- where I will accept and allow myself to not speak from the starting point of fear as 'what if the person is not going to like me anymore if I say this'


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a little politician character inside my head, where whenever I want to say something I will first stop and consider how what I am about say might influence the other person's view of me -- where I want the other person to like me and not affect their 'liking score' of me negatively, and so I will rather keep quiet and say nothing even when the other person is acting / speaking in a way which is abusive, just so I can comfort myself that they 'still like me'


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that me deciding not to speak in a moment where I see clearly that another as me is not behaving in a way which is best for All and in fact being harmful, just because I want them to 'like' -- makes me as guilty of being harmful and abusive in the face of Life as within the moment of not speaking I am showing that I will not stand up for Life for the sake of 'being liked'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to behave myself according to 'wanting to be liked' instead of the principle of 'What is Best for All' -- where I will abusive behaviour go by 'unnoticed' because I fear the other person will not like me anymore if I say something about it, and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value maintaining the popularity of my character and my 'PR' more than Life -- which is the only thing worth valuing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it is 'normal' to want other people to 'like you' -- where it is acceptable and totally justified to act in a particular way if it means that it will get people to like you, without ever questioning the implications and consequences of such a principle, where within the moment of 'wanting to be liked' and acting upon it, one is giving permission to the Abuse of Life because one will do anything to maintain one's "popularity" -- even if it means that others get hurt just so one can be assured that they are still liked


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise, that me giving permission to others to act in a way which is not best for all, from the starting point of not wanting to be disliked, where others may get hurt in the process for the sake of me feeling good about myself -- is also me giving permission for others to act in a way which may hurt me for the sake of someone else being able to maintain their 'likes'


I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that me not speaking within a moment where I see something is not 'right' as something which is not conductive to what is Best for All Life -- is me actually stabbing myself in the back as self-compromise -- because even though I may have achieved the other person to not 'like me less' -- I am now disliking myself for not speaking -- so what's the point?

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of 'wanting to be liked' unconditionally and what it implies, and within that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to thoroughly investigate the value systems which I have created and incorporated within myself -- and to deconstruct these and re-prioritize my values within valuing what is Best for All Life ALWAYS

Day 25: Eating Energy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself, to when looking at food and what to make / eat -- only consider the energetic values as like/dislike and positive/negative which I have associated with the particular foods -- and decide on what foods to eat / make through only picking out those food items which I have defined as 'positive' within me and disregard those which I have defined as 'negative'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself when deciding on food, base my decisions on the energetic signatures I have attached to food -- where my intent is not to eat the food, but to eat and consume the energy which I have attached to a particular food through memory

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make decisions about what to eat in terms of energy and completely disregard the physical within making energy based decisions -- where I will not look or even consider what it is my human physical body needs to function correctly and effectively -- but only will look at "what energy do I want to indulge in now?"

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have never made a common sense decision about food, as I've never moved and pushed myself to actually find out how my human physical body operates and what it requires as support to function properly and effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feed my body according to likes and dislikes instead of investigating and finding out what would be best to eat for me as my human physical body

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that eating guided by energy is in fact the abuse of Life as the human physical body is that which enables me to be here on Earth -- yet I disregard my human physical body completely within my neverending chase for "nice experiences" and thus disregard Life completely

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to question the education system within this world, where nutrition and the workings of the human body should be one of the basic things beings in this world need to be taught, as this is the foundation of one's Life as sustaining the human physical body at an optimum level

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not educate myself on the human physical body and nutririon, where I instead will look at tv advertisement and ads in magazines to tell me what to eat -- where I will eat those things which seem to make people Happy

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have turn food into a commodity of the mind -- where I will eat within an attempt to "mine energy" from the food to alter my experiences within myself as mind -- and within that completely disregard whether this food actually assists and supports my body or not

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my decisions in terms of  'what to eat', on taste as preference -- where I will eat what I believe 'tastes good', and not eat those things which apparently 'don't taste good' -- while these tastes as preferences aren't absolute as they were created in and through memory -- and the fact that one can like something which was once dislikes indicates that likes and dislikes as taste  is not reliable and should not be what decisions in terms of food are based on

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to investigate my likes and dislikes as 'what tastes good' and 'what doesn't taste good' -- and forgive myself for the energetic associations as emotion which accepted and allowed myself to attach to the foods -- so I may have a clean slate within my relationship towards food and find out what actually assists and supports my body, where body support overrides any taste preference -- as this is only illusion


When and as I see myself making decisions about food based on energy -- I stop and I breathe -- I check my starting point and re-align my decision process where I will decide on what to eat in terms of what actually assists and supports my body. Within that I commit myself to rid myself within myself of all negative and positive associations made with food

When and as I see myself wanting to grab some food because I want to experiences the particular type of energy I have attached to the food -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that I do not actually want to eat the FOOD , I want to EAT the ENERGY -- and thus I stop and do not accept and allow myself go any further. Withing that I commit myself to investigate and find out why I want to feed myself energy -- where me grabbing food for the experience of energy indicates that I am feeling a 'low', a 'lack' and want to get myself back 'up' through eating a particular energy attached to food -- and thus I commit myself to identify the point which I have suppressed where I accepted and allowed myself to go into a 'low' instead of directing myself in the moment

I commit myself to move myself beyond my ignorance in relation to food and the workings of the human physical body

I commit myself to the re-education of myself and others in terms of the human physical body and food -- to find out and investigate what the human physical body actually needs to function at its optimum level so I may stop abusing Life as the Physical

I commit myself to chart out all my likes and dislikes about food and applying Self Forgiveness so I may begin my relationship with food anew, this time from the starting point of What is Best for the Body instead of what is Best for the Mind

I commit myself to honour and care for my human physical body and to support it as it is unconditionally supporting me -- and within that I commit myself to stop chasing energy as experience to get a 'high' and get back down to Earth here and deal with that which actually Matters

I commit myself to an Equal Money System where food and the workings of the human physical body as a biological, chemical factory is one of the first things one learn about within one's education years so all may learn to take care of oneself within the principle of What is Best for ALL Life

I commit myself to actually seeing food for what it is, instead only seeing the energy that I have attached to it

I commit myself to identify and work through the memories through which my personal likes and dislikes around food were created, and forgive myself so I can let go of these memories and stop living in the Past

I commit myself to the abolishment of food advertisement for the sake of profit -- where advertising is only done to get people to buy food which apparently tastes good but which has no nutritional value whatsoever for the body and only serves to keep human beings complacent within their minds as they get their "energy hit" within eating the foods -- and within that I commit myself to the end of the production and manufacturing of all foods which are in fact harmful to the body

I commit myself to expose the extent to which we've created false relationships with food to the extent that we are no longer eating food but eating energy to keep our minds happy and in place, and within that I commit myself to assist myself and others as myself within letting go of these relationships so one may construct an equal and one relationship towards food and the human physical body as equal support

Day 24: Life as a CharActor

A memory came up of when I was in high school while I was listening to the ‘Real Communication’ Life Review Interview, where at some point when I was 16-17 years old, I actually dreaded the break times in between classes, especially lunch time as it was longer, as it would mean spending my time with my classmates. I never really formed any relationships with any of my friends as I never really opened myself up or shared any intimate points or experiences with them – so ultimately all my friendships were based on talking about “stuff” as sharing our likes and dislikes as gossiping about people, talking about music, movies, fashion, etc.

Where all we did every day was re-enforce and re-confirm our own characters within ourselves, using one another’s likes and dislikes to validate that “who we are” as ‘character’ is in fact ‘real’, and the ‘right character’ to be – and all other characters who are not like our character are wrong and inferior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as character

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself as character, based on personal likes and dislikes which emerged from memories

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out other people with the same character so we can share and validate our character and experience ourselves as ‘real’ and ‘right’, so we may feel comfortable within the Lie we live – where if more than one person also lives and shares this lie, then it must actually be the truth

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to validate other people’s likes and dislikes so they can in return validate my likes and dislikes so I can feel good about myself and delude myself that I am on the right path as the right character within this world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek out my personal character entourage where I can feel comforted and validated as character and forget about what really happens within this world and inside myself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pre-occupy myself within myself and my world with getting my daily ‘likes’ where I will act out my character according to what I believe the people I like, like – so I can get my daily confirmation that everything is fine and that I do not have to change or take responsibility for anything within my world

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Life’s about being a character and getting other characters to agree with your character and then you Die – without seeing and realising that this is an absolutely stupid way to live one’s life as if it is one big popularity contest between one’s own character and the character of others, where it’s not even about the actual being but made-up make-belief characters based on memories as likes and dislikes which after Death simply disappear into thin air and in no way contributed to making this world a Better Place of All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made life within myself about who I am as character and how to best present my character, where I will be very meticulous about how I look and what I wear, literally pulling a character suit over myself and then believing this character/suit to be “who I am”

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I was not born with the characters which I believe myself to be now – which indicate that these characters are not Who I Am, but a creation of myself as myself which I adapted, as the Lie I live within this world

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever stop and have a look at the various different characters existent within me and how they developed emerged – as I would have seen that they are based on memories as energy and likes and dislikes – and not in fact real, as they shift and change and do not stand the test of time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have lost myself within the various characters I created within myself – where I am so occupied about what character to be/wear now that I am completely oblivious to what goes on inside the world as the pain and suffering as consequence from a World System which is not Best for All, where half the people in the world suffer so those with money can live out and perfect their characters

I commit myself to identify all the various characters I have built around myself through which I accepted and allowed myself to live within separation – and to bring all these various characters back to myself and release myself from my own creation in separation through Self Forgiveness, Self Correction and Breath within every moment

I commit myself to investigate what characters I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate within – to pin point the memories from which the characters emerged and let go of these memories so I can empower myself to live here in the moment instead of recycling the past

I commit myself to show how humans have currently only “lived” within and through characters as a form of entertainment where one uses those close to oneself to validate and feed the Lie one lives so one can feel comfortable enough to ignore and neglect the real hardship and abuse existent within this world as consequence of us behaving as CharActors instead of Care Takers as what’s Best for All Life

I commit myself to investigating all the various relationships and friendships I have and have had within my life and see how they contributed to my character building within myself and to let go of these relationships so I may stand as Care Taker as a responsible human being who will act within the Best Interest of All Life instead of not being able to see further than one’s own character and live a Lie in complete separation

Day 23: Decisions

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have never made a real decision within my life

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I in fact have never made decision within my life – as all my decisions have only ever been based on past experiences as memory – and never a seeing in the moment what would be Best for All

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have never made a real decision within my life, as within every moment of decision I draw on my past, past experience and memories to tell me what to do – where I accepted and allowed my past to tell me, direct me into a particular decision – and thus it was never a real decision as it was already pre-determined based on my database of past experiences and memories

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that my decisions are based on personal likes and dislikes as positive and negative energy annotations, based on past experiences and memories – where within every moment of decision will base my decisions and what route to talk on my personal likes and dislikes based on memory as past events and experiences – and thus never actually practically deciding within the moment within the starting point and context of what is Best for All

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined myself according to personal likes and dislikes – and to believe these to be real – while obviously they cannot be real if everyone has different likes and dislikes and there is no uniformity or absoluteness in anyway whatsoever, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that personal likes and dislikes can never be what is Best for All as it only considers what is Best for Self as Character

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I am in fact a pre-programmed organic robot, executing and performing tasks based on my memory as all the inputs I’ve received throughout my life and the inputs I placed in myself within back chat – and thus any action, task, decision was never real but only ever based on past experiences as memory

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that with every new step, with every new decision – I am not in fact stepping forward, as I simply repeating and recycling my past within myself where I take all I have ever done and all I have ever experienced and run it through the equation of the decision I have to make in the present – and thus all that can ever come from this decision is more of the same, more of the past – and within that supporting and keeping myself as character in place

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have ever only existed as characters, as different sets of values as likes and dislikes – where I will move from one character to another as the input/environment changes and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I have in fact never lived but only lived as fragmented characters within separation of myself, in constant fluctuation – instead of being here, stable, within every moment of breath

When and as I see myself being faced with a decision, and decide upon something – I stop and I breathe – I take a moment to evaluate how I accepted and allowed myself to come to this decision and ask myself: what variables were involved? What values were involved? Is this really what is best for all or is it a decision based on personal likes and dislikes which in no way whatsoever considers what is best for all? And within that I commit myself to evaluate the decisions I have made and the decisions still to make to check myself and my starting point within making decision and teach myself to make decisions which are in fact best for all and not automated decision making based on personal likes and dislikes

When and as I see myself shifting characters – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am not in fact here, present as breath within every moment – but am allowing myself to be a program running in automation mode where I will change and adapt myself according to the various inputs coming from my environment and my self-taught outputs as a response to these inputs – I see and realise that this is not in fact real living and thus I stop and stick to breathing, here

Within that I commit myself to for myself identify all the various characters I’ve accepted and allowed myself to create within my life to deal with various situations, people – and to walk the process of Self Forgiveness and Self Correction pertaining these characters so I can merge all the fragmented, separated parts back together here as me and transform myself from being multiple disordered character to an actual living being Here

When and as I see myself making a decision based on personal likes and dislikes as positive and negative energy, I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that this is not real decision making but running an automated program which is not reliable at all as it is only based on self-interest and the survival of self as character and thus I do not accepted and allow myself to go that route and re-direct myself to really look and see what requires to be done within the moment which is in the Best interest of ALL