Day 53: I Am Robot

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 51: Shocking Sounds
Day 52: Prelude – Don’t take anything for Granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the parrot screams within a negative energy charge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attached a negative energy charge signature to the sound/hearing of parrot screams

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged parrot scream as ‘bad’ and categorised it within myself as a ‘dislike’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the sound of parrots screaming and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my reaction and hope that it will just go away by itself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally investigate the nature of my reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged myself as ‘weak’ for reacting to the sounds of screaming parrots

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a connection/relationship between ‘the sound of screaming parrots’ and ‘fear of conflict’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of my reaction towards the parrots screaming – where my reaction had nothing to do with ‘Parrots Screaming’ per se – but with the connections I had created within myself as associations to past memories where similar sounds were present and as such stored within and as me – where within the moment of hearing the parrots screaming/screeching, I as my mind scanned through my life history as all the stored memories I as a personality exist as – and identified memories with similar features – in this case ‘screams’ – where I as my mind connected the screaming/screeching sounds of Parrots to that of my parents screaming – and within that split of a second of hearing the parrots scream: upload the experience inside myself which I used to have when I would hear screaming inside the house and send it all throughout my body, wherein I accepted and allowed myself to believe that this was a ‘new’ experience and an experience purely related to ‘parrots screaming’ – without seeing and realising that there is no such thing as ‘new experiences’ but the recycling of the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the sound of screams within fear of conflict where I accepted and allowed myself to have defined ‘screams’ as a ‘bad omen’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined ‘screams’ and the experience of hearing screams as being a ‘bad omen’ – where the moment I make the connection between ‘screams’ and ‘bad omen’ go into anxiety and become edgy because I am expecting something ‘bad’ to happen at any given moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have blamed the parrots within believe that they were the cause / source / origin of my experience of edginess/anxiety – without seeing and realising that I am the cause / source / point of origin within recycling past memories within me and uploading their energetic experiences and pasting these on the current moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within hearing parrots screaming go into anxiety / edginess where I expect ‘bad things’ to happen as ‘fear of conflict’ – where I expect someone lashing out on me at any moment


When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am accessing a pre-programmed response pattern based on memory where in the past I made a connection between ‘screams’ and experiencing a ‘bad vibe’.
Within that I commit myself to breathe, be here as my human physical body, ground myself and let go of the experience

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming within judgment – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am not in fact judging the parrots screaming at present – but acting within and as memory where I had bad experiences with screams in the past and created a judgment about screams and where I even judge the parrots and their screams for ‘making me feel bad’ within screaming.
Within that I commit myself to breathe, be here and stop my energetic participation

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming and wanting to ignore/dismiss it – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am deliberately covering up parts of myself that I do not want to change and so I commit myself to look at my reaction and investigate its nature and walk it to its end within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application

When and as I see myself judging myself as ‘weak’ for reacting to the sound of parrots screaming – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that there is nothing to judge about – all that this point is revealing to me is the mathematical, mechanical precision of the mind within creating connections and associations to the past as memories and pulling these memories up when identifying similarities – and thus there is nothing to judge about in terms of taking my reaction ‘personal’ – since my reaction is simply the outflow of the design of the mind

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of screaming parrots within accessing ‘fear of conflict’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that my past as memories are not applicable to the present and that what I am experiencing is merely the mind doing its job in following associations and pulling up memory experiences – and so I commit myself to breathe, be here – let go of the memory and be present as the moment so that I may experience what is here and not an interpretation of what is here through the filters of memory

I commit myself to show that any point/reaction one face is nothing more than the mathematical/mechanical outflow of the workings/design of the mind – and thus it is imperative to educate self on the workings of the mind so one can work through points specifically and effectively – and that there is no point creating opinions/ideas about points since your mind is a mere mechanical/mathematical programmed entity which does what it is programmed to do and within that no experience/point is “special” or “dull” but just the outflow/consequence of how the mind works

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming within accessing the fear of ‘conflict’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am merely accessing past memories and their energetic signatures and imposing them on the present – and so I commit myself to breathe, be here – ground myself and let the fear flow out of my body

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming within accessing the belief that it is a ‘bad omen’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am accessing associations based on past memories and so I commit myself to stop participating within this belief and ground myself here as my Human physical body within breath

When and as I see myself reacting to the parrots screaming within blame – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am the source / origin / cause of my experience and that there is no point in pointing fingers --- within that I commit myself to take self-responsibility for reaction within stopping my participation within and work through the point within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrot screams within anxiety/edginess – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that there is no point in generating and participating within these emotions and I commit myself to Stop, Breathe, Be Here within and as the stability of my human physical body

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming within believing it being a ‘bad omen’ where it will lead to conflict/someone lashing out on me – where this experience comes forth in a subtle form of paranoia – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am NOT here since I am accepting and allowed myself to be moved by triggers where I go into energetic experiences – and so I commit myself to Breathe, be here and move my awareness from my mind to my human physical body and investigate the trigger/pattern revealed to me

Will investigate the specific memory linked to the energetic reaction to parrot screams in next blog

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Day 52: Prelude – Don’t take anything for Granted

This Blog is a continuation to:
Day 51: Shocking Sounds

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created an idea about what is a ‘relevant point’ to work with and ‘what not’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created ideas/opinions/beliefs about points as reactions within myself in relation to my environment where I will judge the reaction/experience I am having as either ‘important’ / ‘not important’ and will accordingly either work or not work on it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created ideas/opinions/beliefs/judgments about points as reactions in relation to my environment based on what I think is ‘important’ / ‘not important’ based on whether I believe this point to be ‘interesting’ or ‘deep’ where if I find the point to not be something ‘insightful’ and apparently “extraordinary” – I will ignore it until I come across a point that I believe fits the category of ‘interesting’/’insightful’ and work with that instead

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have mind-fucked myself to such an extent that I have opinions about everything where I even have opinions about my points which are in itself opinions so it’s like having opinions about opinions which is completely bizarre

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be selective in terms of the points I want to work with based on judgment/ideas/opinions about the points I face throughout my day where if a point ‘stands out’ that I see/perceive as ‘interesting’ I will be motivated to take it on while if during my day I only face points which I deem as ‘ordinary’ / ‘dull’ I will convince myself that I have apparently ‘nothing to write about’ while there’s lots to write about since not a day goes by that I don’t react to something

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the points I face throughout my day and only take those points on which I see/perceive as interesting – and within that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that I’ve accepted and allowed to attach either positive or negative energy charges to points in terms of ‘interesting’ / ‘boring’ – which only reveals to me that I am still allowing myself to within working on myself within process – to still be directed within and as energy as negative/positive energy charges where I will follow the positive and ignore/dismiss the negative

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/understand/grasp the full extent of how completely biased we are within every single thing we do in our reality where literally not a single thing escapes our prejudiced eyes – where everything we see/do gets categorised/boxed within compartments of our minds for us to make apparent ‘sense’ of our reality while all the while only creating/manifesting an illusion of reality within ourselves which we then impose/project upon actual physical reality

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that a point is a point – where the smallest to the biggest reaction counts and is completely relevant to me as the process I walk – and thus I require to look at each and every single point within the realisation that as long as I react – no matter what the nature of the reaction is – I am still not being the directive principle in my life and thus need to ensure that I cover EACH and EVERY SINGLE POINT

When and as I see myself reacting to a reaction (LOL!) within judgment/belief/opinion as ‘Ooh this is a cool/relevant point to work on’ or alternatively, simple dismissal – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am participating in judgment towards my reality and within that trying to make it ‘more than’ it really is within wanting to personalize my experience/perception of reality and within that I commit myself to breathe, be here as my human physical body and see reality/my points for what they are

When and as I see myself judging points as reactions/experiences as ‘important’/’not important’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that each and every single point is equally relevant and within that I commit myself to work through each and every single point

When and as I see myself judging/creating opinions about points based on the criteria of whether I find it ‘deep’/’interesting’ or ‘dull’/’ordinary’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am just participating in an another mindfuck where I believe that since I am busy with my process/working through points – that I by default am doing it in a way which is self-directive and within that not seeing/realising the true extent that we’ve fucked ourselves into creating an opinion about every single thing in existence which also includes process/working through points – and so I commit myself to slow myself down within myself when working/reflecting on points to ensure that I am not allowing myself to be directed by opinion as ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ as ‘positive’ / ‘negative’ experience/opinions about points – and within that allow myself to be here, breathe and work with what is here without creating an idea about it

When and as I see myself scanning through my day to identify a point to work with and see myself ‘skipping’ over points because I have judged them as ‘dull’/’ordinary’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that these points are very relevant since they indicate the extent that I am accepting and allowing them within ‘skipping’ them in my evaluation of the day and so I commit myself to take on each and every single point no matter how ‘dull’ or ‘ordinary’ they seem to be as these are actually the “secret” points keeping me as personality in place which is indicated by my level of acceptance within seeing them as ‘normal’ / ‘not worthwhile looking at’

I commit myself to walk each and every single point since all are relevant and form part of the intricate whole/network of characters keeping me as an “individual” in place

I commit myself to assist myself in becoming aware of the extent of mind integration/influence within my everyday life through listening to the Quantum Mind series which very delicately, intricately – step by step – explain and describe how the Quantum Mind works in utmost specificity and thus it is within my best interest to listen to these interviews and educate myself on the REAL ME that I have never accepted and allowed myself to see as the REAL DIRECTIVE PRINCIPLE currently in my reality so that I can teach myself to become just as diligent and specific as my mind within correcting myself and walking my Journey to Life

I commit myself to assist and support myself within reading the Heaven’s Journey to Life blogs which every day provide a new dimension / insight which I had not yet considered for myself and within that assist and support myself to get to know myself better as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become as Mind so that I can equally assist and support myself in walking my Journey to Life

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Day 51: Shocking Sounds

From time to time the Parrots in our room like to play quite ‘rough’ with their toys, where they go and charge them full-on and within that make lots of screaming and screeching noises.

Their cages are about two meters away from my desk where I do most of my computer related tasks. I noticed that I would start working on my computer being quite relaxed, and that as the Parrots would start playing and screaming my body would tense up and after a while I would actually find myself being stressed out, and every little sound or thing that doesn’t go ‘smoothly’ creates like these bursts of irritation/annoyance – and at the same time I’d experience an anxiety build-up inside myself. I’d then either start getting angry at the computer / parrots for being loud/not cooperating – but this would only further establish my distress.

So basically what would happen is that I’d be busy working on my PC – the Parrots would start screaming – I’d react and do nothing about it while being ‘immersed’ with whatever it is I am doing / trying to ignore them – and with each consecutive scream, my body literally gets like a ‘buzz’ where I go BZZZT! And then another layer of reaction is added as anxiety/stress  – and so it goes on / accumulates until my entire body is buzzing and I feel completely distressed/edgy/anxious and burst out. Obviously when I shout at the parrots to stop screaming – they just stop for a moment, look at me with these eyes saying ‘… and your point is…?’ – and then get right back to playing/screaming lol.Which is really great because they're just showing how ridiculous my behaviour is and don't see any reason to support my tantrum.

I’ve been practicing not getting all reactive when the parrots start shouting because really – they’re not doing anything wrong, they’re parrots, they like to play with sounds – screaming being one of them – can’t blame a parrot for being a parrot. But it’s not yet completely effective – meaning I know what’s happening but within that my experience isn’t changing (but at least I am not acting upon the experience within getting angry/shouting because there’s really no point to it). It’s quite interesting because I have seen this point for a while now but dismissed it as ‘not that big of a deal’ and ‘not important’. But today when they were having another one of their play-rounds, the experience welled up again and this time I went: Fuck it, I have to look at this no matter how “small” or seemingly “unimportant” I find this point to be – the fact that something happens in my environment and me reacting to it is really all the reason I need to investigate the nature of this event and address it – it’s got to go and that's what I'm gonna do with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application.

With the blogs to follow I am going to untangle what exactly the sounds of the Parrots are triggering and assist/support myself to disconnect these connections so that I can be here and simply work and enjoy the presence of the Parrots in all their grandeur – and within that I am grateful to the parrots pushing my buttons within such a simple point, which once again emphasizes the extent that we’ve fucked ourselves over, where we can’t even just be here without creating /interpreting what goes on in our world and how far we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to become removed from reality.

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Day 50: Here -- Yet Lightyears away

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never have questioned the nature of thoughts, feelings and emotions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never have questioned how I will experience myself differently in different moments / day to day

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never have questioned where thoughts come from and how they manifest

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never have questioned the origin of thought or how it is able to exist

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider what I experience to be 'reality'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take what I experience as 'reality' as 'a given' and trust this experience to be real / valid -- and never look beyond what I experience

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that within only giving attention to 'what I experience' I am limiting my awareness to only myself as my mind and completely disregard the physical reality

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never have questioned how come I am here as a physical body in a physical reality -- yet in no way understand/grasp what it means to be here as my body as this physical reality -- where I am here and yet at the same time lightyears away from what is here



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have never cared to find out what it means to be here as the physical -- but simply assumed it to be of no relevance and that the only thing which matters is me as my mind and how I experience myself


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within not caring/ considering this physical reality create/contribute to abuse within this world -- as this abuse merely reflects another way of not caring/considering and thus within every moment that I am not caring/considering the physical reality I am authorizing abuse to exist within this world

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that any form of activism or wanting to bring about change in the world without ensuring that no thought exist within me is complete hypocrisy -- as I am demanding consideration of this physical reality without stopping my own thoughts which eat my flesh away which is the primary form of abuse existent within this world

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that the only activism worthwhile participating in is within the act of stopping thoughts, feelings and emotions -- as they are the very personification of abuse, where real, actual substance gets consumed for the sake creating energy as thoughts, feelings and emotions -- and where these thoughts, feelings and emotion do not serve us well in any way whatsoever anyway --- it's like a lose-lose situation!

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to embrace the sadness of being here in this physical reality and yet at the same time having no real access to this physical reality -- because it really is sad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have considered the physical as 'not important' / 'irrelevant' -- without seeing and realising that I never actually experienced physical reality -- and so the only thing I actually ever deemed as 'not important' / 'irrelevant' -- is me as my experience of the mind as it is completely limited -- where I projected this limitation unto the physical and believed it to be real -- instead of seeing and realising that it is not the physical which is limited but my mind, and where I as the mind can't stand that I do not have access to this physical reality and within that 'dismiss' / 'spite' it in order to make myself feel better where I will look down upon physical reality as a coping mechanism within the realisiation/truth that I am less/inferior than this physical reality because when I as my Personality Die -- I am Gone -- but the physical remains

I commit myself to show that the nature of the human as the nature of the mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions has never really been investigated

I commit myself to show that the nature of thoughts, feelings and emotions is actually really disturbing

I commit myself to show that any call for change without stopping thoughts, feelings and emotions is pure hypocrisy

I commit myself to show that as long as the nature of the mind is not understood we will not change and the Earth will not survive our continued exploitation

I commit myself to show that any opinion/observation of reality as the physical has only ever been an opinion as we've never accepted and allowed ourselves to step beyond our mind and really see / investigate what is here

I commit myself to show that we've accepted and allowed ourselves to have become an alien invasion where we are here in this physical reality but have no actual relationship with the physical in anyway whatsoever where we are completely closed off and locked/jailed in our minds and really have no clue about what really goes on on Earth

I commit myself to show that any form of abuse in relation to the physical is inherent to our inferiority of and as the mind where we can't stand that the physical reality is more real than we are and then try to 'get back' at the physical reality through abuse and torture to make ourselves feel better in the limited time we have available on Earth before our meaningless existence disappears into thin air after Death

I commit myself to show that the tendency of the human to see itself as 'intelligent' and 'superior' to all other beings / living organisms on Earth is just another way to deal with our sense of rejection -- where we are the outsiders in physical reality and within our resentment towards ourselves take it out on what is Real within Spite and Jealousy -- and then cover it up within apparently being this 'amazing' / 'evolved' being which is a complete state of denial and delusion

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Day 49: Studying and Fear - Part 3

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when I am reading through my study material -- read from the starting point of fear as 'I have to know all this information -- what if I forget all of this information by the time of the exams, then I have to do it all over again' and "oh no so much to read and so little time' -- where within this starting point as an energetic state of mind of fear -- I am not at all grasping / integrating the information but merely reading the words for the sake of 'progressing through my material' without actually studying/reading in any way whatsoever

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have made it my goal to 'go through the material from beginning to end' without including understanding/integration within my starting point -- where I end up "studying" but really just wasting my time because I am in no way present here within the moment as the information presented

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to slow down within studying -- to allow myself to read and take in the information within understanding and to when I do not grasp / understand something go and look up additional information which may assist me in understanding the point

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on studying within a starting point of resistance -- where I anticipate that the reading wil be tedious and that I will forget most of it -- and within that I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see and realise that this experience is a decision I make for myself and then becomes my reality -- and thus I can decide to take on studying from a point of self-directive self-movement and taking in information effectively

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my 'future' study experiences on my study experiences from the past as memories -- where I end up not being able to integrate the information effectively since I am busy recycling through past memories

When and as I see myself reading through my study material and thinking "I have to know all this information -- what if I forget all of this information by the time of the exams, then i have to do it all over again" -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that fear and thinking/worrying only takes me another step back towards exam preparations and so I commit myself to stop participating within such thoughts / energy experiences and allow myself to work through my material step by step within allowing myself to effectively integrate the information

When and as I see myself reading through my study material and thinking "Oh no so much to read and so little time" -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that within occupying myself with these thoughts I am leaving myself no time/space to integrate my study information effectively and so I commit myself to stop participating within these thoughts / energy experiences and actually get to studying

When and as I see myself studying from the starting point of 'getting from point A to B' as in 'progressing through my study material' -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that within focusing on the 'end goal' as 'getting somewhere' I am completely losing the point of studying as I am in no way aware within studying -- and so I commit myself to re-establish my starting point as effective reading /understanding where 'progressing through the material' is an outflow of this point -- but not the main point of attention

When and as I see myself racing within my mind when studying -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that rushing within my mind and through my study material is in no way effective and is actually me wasting time within wanting to save time -- and so I commit myself to stop engaging in this energetic mind experience and allow myself to slow down and be here

When and as I see myself deciding to study within an energetic experience of resistance -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that within imposing an experience of resistance upon and within myself -- I am only limiting myself and my study experience -- and so I commit myself to re-establish my starting point to that of self-direction and self-movement and study / take in the information unconditionally

When and as I see myself accessing past experiences in relation to studies as memories and project them unto the current moment -- I stop and I breathe -- I see and realise that within accessing that past as memories I am only holding myself back from studying effectively and merely repeating the past -- and so I commit myself to snap myself out of this mode and be present here within the moment as breath and take in the information presented effectively

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